“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
He released her and looked away. “I ain’t too sure how to make you feel better. I ain’t too sure how to getmyMegan back.”
She wasn’t sure if she could ever bethatMeggie again. Something inside her felt so lost and broken. She knew it was because of Christopher, which devastated and angered her. If she’d been his moral compass through the years, he’d been her anchor. Each time her life was threatened, she fought because ofhim. She lived to see his face, hear his voice, and feel his body against hers.
“We better than this, baby,” he said into the silence. “We fuckin’ up our marriage over dumb shit.”
His emerald gaze fixated on her, expectation shining on his face. He was still waiting for her to cry. She didn’t have tears left.
“Did you make Torie strip?”
He nodded. “Yeah,” he croaked.
“To only check for a wiretap?”
“She was still talkin’ shit about you. It was to humiliate her too. There was nothin’ sexual about it.”
Unfortunately, the brothers wouldn’t see it that way. She wondered where the disconnect was comingfrom. Why didn’t Christopherseehis behavior looked like complete and total disrespect toward her?
“Torie dead, Megan. I ain’t too sure what to do to make you believe I ain’t ever wanted her.”
“It isn’t that.”
He lifted a brow, and Meggie flushed.
“Not really.”
She met his gaze and held it, wishing her body didn’t respond to his nearness so quickly and completely. Even when she locked him out, she found the depravation as hard on her as it was on him. During those times, he jerked himself off. She’d gotten a couple of sex toys to sate herself, but she agreed with his sentiment that nothing compared to their intimacy.
He took her hand in his and guided her to the sofa. He sat and pulled her onto his lap, brushing a swath of her hair behind her ear and smiling tenderly at her.
Her heart melted and his cock stirred. He cupped her cheek and pulled her closer, their lips meeting. She told herself she wouldn’t succumb to his gentle kisses. That she’d pull away, so they could talk, and she’d work everything out in her head. All her confusion, pain, resentment, and anger. All her jealousy, not only toward Torie, but because CJ excluded her little by little, until she’d end up as nothing but an outsider looking in, on the fringes of his life.
But a lifetime of love and passion didn’t so easily disintegrate. Miscommunication and rough patches didn’t dissolve eighteen years of devotion and desire. Disagreements over their children couldn’t end their trust and confidence in each other as individuals, spouses, or parents. One woman, no matter how treacherous and determined to ruin Meggie’s marriage, couldn’t destroy the friendship she and Christopher had.
Unless she allowed it. Unless ghosts from the past rose from the grave to haunt her and ruin her peace.
Christopher lifted his head and thumbed her lips. “What, baby? Talk to me.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. She lowered her lashes, hiding from his searching gaze. “I don’t…”
Kiera came to mind. When Meggie first came to the club, Kiera Arnold and Ellen Cooper did everything in their power to drive her away. But Christopher had taken them into his confidence until Meggie came along…
And there it was. The fear that had been trying to break through since Torie appeared in their lives. Instead of rationalizing it in her head, Meggie decided to talk to her husband. They couldn’t truly get back to the place they’d been at until they put in the effort.
“Tell me,” he pressed, tuned into her once more.
Butshehad softened, opened her mouth, and spoke up. Her annoyance had fled, and she saw clearer. She understood he was so focused onherand getting the old her back, that it blinded him to the rumors and whispers. He didn’t see how much the bikers had lost respect for her because he was too busy trying to fixher.
“Ever since I met you, you’ve had a woman that you shared things with.”
“Megan, I ain’t brought up Kiera—”
She shook her head, and he quieted immediately. “Let me see if I can explain myself. She was young when you met her. Seventeen. You two became friends and would’ve remained friends if I hadn’t shown up.Me. Younger than Kiera, and in need of protection,” she said quietly. “In need of help and saving. Available when Kiera wasn’t. Or couldn’t be because you found a shiny new girl to protect and talk to.”
Thrusting his fingers through his silky hair, he blew out a breath. “Tell me what to do,” he said after amoment. “Anyfuckinthing, Megan. Just tell me. If I need to kill more motherfuckers to make my behavior up to you, I’m gonna round up who the fuck ever and shoot the fuck outta them. Blow them up. Hack them to fuckin’ death. I ain’t carin’ as long as you forgive me.”
“You can’t kill innocent people, Christopher.”
