Wait, she knows who it is; she just said my name.Shit.
"Via, how are you this morning?" She asks, her joyful tone still shining through the line. Sorry to piss on your butterflies and rainbows this morning, Dr. Carr, but I do not share your vibe today, unfortunately.
"I went on a date."
"Oh, Via! That's so wonderful! I'm—"
"It's actually bullshit." I deadpan, causing me to do an internal eye roll at myself.
"Mm…"
"It was a blind double date that Izzy convinced me to go on with her and Maverick." I begin to ramble on, leaving no room for her to get a single word in. "The only plot twist is that the guy they set me up with was Anderson Cole. Do you rememberthe guyI told you about? Yeah, it was okay. So it was actually incredibly perfect until reality set in. Then, I did what I apparently do best: I shut down and pushed him away. I can't help but think, what if this is a sign? What if this is our second chance? I just quite literally slammed a door in his face. What if I'm the reason my life is fucked? What if my decisions—"
"VIA!"
"… Yeah?"
"Breathe. Count to ten and breathe."
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.
"Let's start slow, okay?"
"Mhm," I mumble.
"When you realized it was Ander, how did you feel?"
"Well," I hesitate before I decide to ramble on again. "My initial reaction was shock. I lost it and walked off to collectmy thoughts. Then Maverick told me that Ander felt bad, so he made the decision to leave. At that point, I didn't feel anything but panicked for some reason. I rushed to get to him, and I did just in time before he left. We talked. And—"
"That all describes whatoccurred, but I want to know how seeing him again after all this time made youfeel?" Dr. Carr presses on softly.
With a sigh, I process what she's asking. Only one word comes to mind, so I allow myself the space to speak it honestly.
"Happy. I felt… Genuinely happy."
I can't remember the last time I felt that emotion organically without forcing myself to attempt to feel it. That fact alone is bittersweet. Of course, I'd have it with Ander.Of course, I would.
"Good," I could quite literally hear her smile beaming through the line. Whose side is she supposed to be on again? "How did you feel during the date?"
"Whole," I respond without hesitation, shocking her and myself.
"Now tell me, what happened to ruin all these positive feelings for you?"
"Reality, Dr. Carr. Reality happened."
"Can we be a little more specific, Via?" She chuckles softly, only causing me to roll my eyes.
"Reality set in that even entertaining his company was a bad decision. There's a reason I put distance between us, and I can't allow myself to get drawn to him. Not again."
"Do you fully agree with your own reasoning?"
"That's hard to answer."
"Well, let's make it simple. Lay it all out for me."
"I can't." I huff out frustration.
"Liam?" She asks in a soft voice.
