Awesome.
What the hell has my life become? I've spent the past twenty-four years being my brother's keeper of secrets, bearing the weight of the burdens that he created, and now I'm expected just to spill all of the tea like It's Sunday brunch gossip as if that's so damn easy for me to do.
I've been a fortress for years, never giving life to the secrets I've had no choice but to keep—an unbreakable one.
I've held on to my share of demons that haunt me. The shame. The embarrassment. The guilt. I've carried it all.
Now, I'm expected to just lay it all out there for the world's knowledge—to a complete stranger, a male stranger, at that.
My own parents didn't believe me the few times that I tried to talk to them about the vile things Liam would do and was capable of. Why would anyone else believe me if the two people who were supposed to protect me in this world couldn't?
My eyes flash to Ander before closing, and I nod. Ander holds both of my hands in his and gives them each a light squeeze, letting me know that he is here and in this with me.
I'm not alone.
Detective Blackwell sat next to my bed, opposite where Ander stayed, and kneeled at my side. His questions started simple: my name and my information, and that was about all that was simple.
Next came the questions about what I remembered. Unfortunately, at that point, I remembered just about everything. Halfway through his questioning, I requested that Izzy come back in. Ander was comforting during the entire conversation so far. He is undoubtedly my safe place and my home, but so is she, and she's been just as in the dark as Ander.
I explained all the disturbing and disgusting details that I remembered from last night. Somehow, it feels like a distant memory. It doesn't feel like it just happened. Oddly, when I think back, it feels like it happened to someone else, not me. Like I'm on the outside looking in, able to watch it all like a movie.
I'm heartbroken for the person who went through that, forgetting that person is me. I'm describing my own life. How fucked is that?
After I described the events that took place at my home: From walking in, finding Liam waiting for me, running from him, his knife, his fist, his foot stomping me. . . I was able to describe it all.
Lucky me.
It only got worse from there when Detective Blackwell asked when the abuse began. It's funny how we find ourselves living a life we never envisioned.
As I spoke, I could feel Ander's anger radiating. He's never been blind to Liam. I mean, that is how we met, after all. I've also never been very descriptive like this, either.
Detective Blackwell was here for over an hour, and it was mentally exhausting. Ander and Izzy never left my side during the conversation, but after reliving all of that, I need space to think, process, and deal.
I'm not even fucking sure at this point. All I know is that this room's tension is thick like glue, making me nauseous.
"Why don't you guys go home and get some rest?" My attempt is weak; I don't have much energy left.
Izzy nods, but Ander lets out a deep, frustrated growl and scowls at me.
"I'm not leaving." He deadpans.
"Ander, why don't we go for a bit?" Izzy attempts; I think she can sense I need space. She knows me well. I thrive being alone, most of the time.
"At least go run to our house or Mavericks since they aren't as far away; you can shower and return afterward. You need one, you fucking wreak." She snorts at her lame joke, which causes me to giggle.
Ow, fuck.
Everything hurts, and any movement causes a jolt of pain.
I can see the protest Ander is concocting in his mind, but he doesn't speak immediately. He just looks at me. He looks so lost, so unreadable.
I force a smile, trying to convince him that I'm fine, and give a quick nod.
"Yeah, I'll go." His words are harsh and angry.
"My Mom, Dad, Abbie, and Jett are all on their way here and should be here within the hour, so you won't be alone for long. I'll call Dessa to come back by and check on you, too."
I don't protest, even though I want to. I want to be alone, but I know this is his way of protecting me. A security guard is stationed at the nurse's station down the hall, so I'm not very worried. It's not like the coward will show his face here.
