She runs her hand through her hair, not meeting my eye. “It’s different for us. Our hearts don’t beat. Our worlds are just…blood, pain and desire. That’s all.”
There’s a heavy sadness in her voice. I’ve heard it before, and it always tugs at my heart. So far, I’ve tried to give her space. I know I can’t understand what it must be like to be a vampire. To be a vampireking, with a clan to protect. To have experienced everything that she has.
But for some reason, I feel bold. Over the past months, Crimson and I have been getting closer and closer. She never drinks from anyone else, and we spend most nights together. She brought me all the way here with her to Silverlake City. We’re sharing a suite, like…like acouplemight.
What do I have to lose?
“Where do I fit, Crimson?” I whisper. “In your world of blood, pain and desire? What am I?”
An agonizing minute passes. I start to regret my words, afraid that I’m pushing her away.
She finally looks up, training her steely gaze on me. “You’re all three, Paige. All three and nothing more.”
It feels like she’s squeezing my heart in her fist. I take a shaky inhale, trying to reorient myself. “But…”
Then we’re interrupted again, this time by the tinkling ringtone of my phone.
“You should answer it,” Crimson says, her voice flat and dry. It’s clear she doesn’t want to continue this conversation.
I don’t want to let her off the hook so easily, but when I hurry to the bar to take my phone out of my purse, I see that it’s Miles.
“I do need to take this,” I whisper, wipingthe moisture from my eyes.
I start to cross the room to go into the bedroom, but she’s already gone. With trembling hands, I pick up the call.
“Hi, Miles,” I say. “Is everything all right? It’s late, isn’t it?”
“Sorry, Paige,” he replies with a laugh. “I know you’re on a late-night schedule. I hope it’s ok I called you.”
“It’s always ok, Mi.”
“I was going to ask how your trip is going,” Miles says, a worried note in his voice. “But…are you all right, Paige? You sound a little off.”
I hug myself with one arm, pressing the phone to my cheek. “I’m fine. Just a busy day, that’s all.”
There’s a pause on the line. For a moment, I’m worried the call got disconnected. We must be pretty far underground. But then Miles’s voice comes through.
“You know you can talk to me if you have to, Paige,” he says softly. “I love you, and I’m here for you.”
“I know, Mi,” I whisper. “But it’s fine, really. I’m your older sister, I should be taking care ofyou. Especially with everything you’re going through.”
“I’m basically finished with my program. I know that it’s something I’ll be dealing with for a long time. But at some point, you have to let me in.”
I suppress a sigh. I know that Miles is right, but I have no clue how to talk to him about what I’m going through. How would I even start? I’m dating a three-hundred-year old, emotionally avoidant vampire who’s keeping me at arms length because there’s a mysterious prophecy that says I’ll die if we fall in love? It’s ridiculous. I don’t know if I fully believe it myself.
“Is Amanda showing you all of her favourite places?” Miles asks. “I know she loves visiting Silverlake City.”
“Oh…yes, she is!” I reply. I almost forgot I told him that Amanda and I are visiting Silverlake City this week, as a cover for what I’m really doing. I hate lying, but I didn’t know what else to tell him. “I mean, we just got in, so we haven’t seen much, but I’m really excited to be here.”
“Well, keep me updated, I can’t wait to hear about it! Maybe we can all go together sometime, once I’ve got my own place and everything,” Miles says.
The thought makes me smile. “That would be lovely, Mi.”
A dark clock hanging on the wall chimes softly.
“You should go to bed, Miles, it’s getting late,” I tell him. “But thanks for checking in with me, it’s always nice to hear your voice.”
“Your’s too. Goodnight, Paige, I love you!”
