“Of course,” he says. He flashes me a smile. “I’ll wait for you outside, Paige.”
“See you in a minute,” I tell him.
He closes the door shut behind him. I give the therapist a worried look.
“Is everything all right?” I ask them. “Is Miles…”
“Miles has been doing wonderfully,” they respond, with a warm smile. “It’s clear how much you two care about each other, and it’s great to see how much support Miles has from you. Many people struggling with substance use don’t have such a robust emotional support system.”
“I do my best,” I reply. Compliments always make me feel a little bit uncomfortable, and I tuck the hair behind my ear nervously. “I’ve done a lot of reading, but I know you’re the expert. Let me know if there’s anything I can do better.”
There’s a gentle expression, tinged with a little sadness, in their eyes. “That’s what I was hoping to talk to you about, Paige. You clearly do so much for your brother, and it must have been very difficult, especially after what happened to you. I’m sure that this is bringing up very painful emotions for both of you.”
My fingers tighten over my purse.
“Miles has been benefiting so much already from having someone to talk to in individual therapy,” they continue. “I think it might be good for you to see someone as well, if you aren’t already.”
“Oh! Well, I…I’ve never considered it…”
“You’ve been through quite a lot. And carried a heavy burden for a long time. Maybe there’s a place you could put that burden down, by getting support from a professional.”
I shake my head. “That’s very kind of you, but I’m all right. Therapy is expensive, and I’ve always been able to manage on my own.”
They frown. “Are you sure? I can refer you to someone who does sliding scale…”
“No, no, that won’t be necessary,” I insist, rising to my feet. “I’m sure there are lots of other people who need those spots. I’ll be perfectly fine on my own. But thank you for thinking of me.”
Their frown deepens, but they don’t push it any further. “Well, maybe consider it, ok? And I’ll see you next week.”
“See you next week.” I give them a tight smile before leaving.
Miles is waiting for me in the hallway, his eyes scanning a bulletin board. It’s full of colourful posters advertising mindfulness sessions, crafting workshops, and more. I’m so glad we were able to afford this place. It’s one of the best treatment centers in Midnight City, with tons of resources and a supportive environment. I researched all of the available options, and this one had excellent recommendations, and emphasized their trauma-informed, evidence-based approach.
“A little heavy, huh?” Miles says to me. “They really don’t pull their punches, do they?”
“They’re nice,” I reply with a shrug. “I know this isn’t easy, Miles. But it’s good to go through the process. These are skills that will benefit you for your entire life.”
He nods. “I know. And again…Ireallyappreciate you paying for all of this, Paige. I don’t know how to thank you.”
I link my arm with his as we walk down the hallway. “Don’t mention it, Mi. I’m your big sister, it’s my job to take care of you. And I’m happy to see you getting the support you need.”
He acts like he’s doing fine, but I can feel the way he holds onto me, and nuzzles into my shoulder. No matter how old he gets, or how tough he acts, he’s always going to be my baby brother.
His cheek grazes my shoulder, and he pinches the thick fabric of my shirt. “Is this a new turtleneck?” he asks. “I’ve never seen you wear one before.”
“Oh, um…” I fail to stop the colour from rising in my cheeks. “Yes, it’s new…”
“Isn’t it a little warm for this weather?”
“You know I run cold,” I reply, with a nervous chuckle. I didn’t tell him what I’m doing to earn the money for his treatment. I don’t want him to worry about me, or feel guilty. And I don’t know how to explain to him that…giving up my blood isn’t as big of a sacrifice as I thought it was going to be…
Miles gives me an intense, probing look. “You seem…”
“What?” I ask, fiddling anxiously with my collar, hoping he didn’t see the two red marks on my neck.
He shakes his head. “I don’t know. There’s something…differentabout you. Did you break up with Blake?”
A pit of guilt lodges in my stomach. “What? No, I didn’t break up with Blake.”
