“I didn’t mean about them. I meant about me.”
He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat then sighed and lifted the laptop open. When it came back to life, I saw images that made my heart both soar and spike in anxiety.
“That’s my mum.” I leant closer to see the image of my mum sitting behind a desk at some type of police conference, to give a statement, no doubt about my disappearance. “And that’s my brother, Michael.” He sat to her left, his hand on her knee and tears of his own welling up in his eyes. “Are there any pictures of my dad? What are they saying? Do they know who took me?” I had so many questions bubbling up in my brain. Too many to let me have a coherent thought.
“They don’t know who took you. They said you disappeared after taking the trash out. No one knows where you are. It’s like you were wiped off the face of the Earth, they’re saying.” He looked like he was about to reach out and hug me, but thought better of it in the seconds that passed. “Your mum and brother have done a lot of interviews to try and keep your case fresh in the news. But I can’t find anything online about your dad.” He frowned and started clicking away, searching and scrolling through other articles that were listed.
“That doesn’t make sense. My dad was away on business when I was… taken. There’s no reason why he wouldn’t be there too. He wasn’t the warmest dad growing up, but he loved me. He was always there for us when we needed him. Why isn’t he sitting with Mum and Michael?” I had a bad feeling in my gut. My instincts told me something wasn’t right with my dad. I didn’t know what, but wild animals wouldn’t have kept him away if he knew his family needed him. Where was he?
“I’ve no idea, but I’m gonna call Luca and see what he can find out. He’s got contacts in some shady places. I don’t want to take this to Jackson; he has enough on his plate with Ryley being pregnant. But if anyone can find out what’s going on, it’s Luca.”
My dad wasn’t ‘shady’. He didn’t lurk in shady places like Cill was insinuating, but I didn’t call him out on it. I was too consumed with the stories and photographs of Mum and Michael that were plastered all over the internet. I wanted to reach out to them, let them know I was safe. But I was also conscious of the fact that the brothers had taken me from my home, hiding out and waiting in the shadows for their moment to strike. They knew where I lived, and the last thing I wanted to do was force them out of hiding and put my own family in danger. I’d never want my mum or brother to experience the evil I had. Staying hidden for just a while longer may have seemed cruel, but I was being cruel to be kind, or rather to protect. I was putting my family first.
“Would you like to ring them? Your family, I mean?”
I shook my head vehemently. “It’s better that I don’t. I don’t want to put them in any danger.”
“You wouldn’t put them in danger. The phone lines are clean.”
I had no idea what that even meant, but I stood my ground. “It’s better this way.”
“Try not to worry,” Cill said in a soothing voice. “I know that’s easier said than done, but when all of this is over and those fuckers get what’s coming to them, I’ll take you to your family.”
I nodded and smiled, but I also felt a twinge of pain as I thought about walking away fromhimforever. In many ways, that could be worse than facing my demons. Maybe I’d have to ask my counsellor, Angela, for some coping strategies for when that day came. I doubted I’d be able to tackle that trauma otherwise. I didn’t want to be dependent on him, but I couldn’t deny that he made me breathe easier, feel lighter. He was my light. A beacon after a lifetime of darkness.
I spentthe rest of the day pottering around the house and garden, leaving Cill to make his phone calls and do his research. It wasn’t that I wanted to avoid him. On the contrary, I found his presence magnetic. The only problem was he was too magnetic. I was like a moth to the flame whenever he was around, and I needed to guard my heart and mind against the pull he had on me, and the pain it would undoubtedly bring.
* * *
Cillian
I spent the day burying my head in the laptop and trying to get my mind out of the gutter that it’d been swimming in since I’d woken up. I’d laid there for over an hour with her in my arms, feeling like a fucking king to be finally holding my girl, with her delicate breaths dancing across my skin as she slept. Then she woke up and brushed against my cock, and I swear to God, it sent me into a sex-starved haze of lust. I’d wanted to flip her over and fuck her into the bed, but I couldn’t. What kind of fucked up freak does that to a girl who’s suffered like she has? I wanted her. God knows I wanted her. But I had to take it slowly, let everything be at her pace. So I did what any self-respecting guy would do. I went down the hall to the bathroom furthest away and jerked off, thinking about her bent over for me. I thought it would help to ease some of the tension, but it didn’t. In fact, it only made matters worse. Now, all I could think about was what it’d be like to sink into her beautiful body. Feel her warmth wrapped around my cock, all soft and wet. To know what it would sound like to hear her moan because of me. Calling out my name and begging me not to stop. I wouldn’t stop. I’d make her come so many times she’d never want to leave me. I’d get off on getting her off. I wanted a chance to love her in a way she deserved. I wanted to lose myself in her completely.
She came downstairs, dressed in another one of her little flowery dresses that sent a shock straight to my balls and made my dick hard. I’d never had those reactions to a woman in a sundress before. But seeing her all girlie and smiling made me want to go over to her and run my hands up her legs to find out how silky and soft she was under that skirt. Jeez, I was a fucked up horny piece of shit. So I used the internet to dampen down my sexual neediness. There’s a first time for everything, I suppose. I usually reverted to the internet to do the exact opposite.
As the day wore on, so did my nerves. I knew she was oblivious to what she did to me, but I was a goddamn mess around her. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold out before I made a move. I tried jerking off again, later that evening in the shower. What was I, a horny fifteen-year-old or something? It didn’t work. It only made me think up new ways to fuck her and left me wanting more. At least my body was clean, even when my thoughts were anything but.
When it came time to go to bed, I decided I had to take matters into my own hands. What that would mean was anyone’s guess. Maybe a third round of self-love in the shower, or my hands would get lucky and be holding something else.
* * *
Paige
When night-time came, and we were back in his room getting ready for bed, I could feel a tension in the air that hadn’t been there the night before. Did he feel it too?
“I can sleep on the floor or take the couch if that’s easier?” I stumbled over my words, not sure what to say, but wanting to break the awkwardness that lingered over us. He stripped down to his boxers and sauntered over to the bed.
“Why would I want you sleeping all the way over there?” He slipped under the covers and gave me a puzzled look. Maybe it was just me that felt uneasy. Had I made this air of tension up in my own head?
“I just thought it might make things less…awkward?” I shrugged, waiting for his reaction. I hadn’t known what word to use for how I was feeling. Awkward seemed like a good compromise.
“Awkward?” He frowned. “Why do you think things are awkward?” He lay on his side to face me as I tentatively slid into my side of the bed. Because of the cloaked expression on his face, I didn’t have the first clue about what he was thinking.
“I don’t know.” I bit my lip, and he reached forward and tugged it free, making me sigh instinctively. I liked having his hands on me, and I loved it when he showed his forceful side.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to hide from me?” His eyes were hooded now, like he was slipping into predator mode. I liked being his kind of prey; that much I couldn’t deny. It felt exciting, forbidden, and made me tingly for more.
It was my turn to frown this time. “Hide? I’m not hiding. I’m lying right here.”
