Seconds later, I felt a weight on my back, pushing me forward. The little minx was trying to dunk me right back. Nice try. Cute even, but she had no chance. We spent the next few minutes splashing each other and swimming under the water to try and catch the other out. It felt good to be carefree with her. I think she enjoyed it too. I’d never seen her let go like this.
I heard something smacking into the water behind me, and when I swivelled around, I saw a ring floating on the surface attached to a rope. Gus was shaking his head at us and no doubt tutting at my lack of health and safety checks. I never was good at planning things. I liked living in the moment. I left the planning to Jackson. We worked well that way.
Wednesday swam towards the buoy and it was then that I noticed how tired she looked. I felt like an ass. She was only just getting her energy back and I’d forced her into the water, making her use muscles she probably hadn’t used for months. I pushed myself off to join her, making the journey in a fraction of the time that she did. She was gasping to get her breath, but she didn’t look pained. I watched as her eyes glittered with hope and her lips pouted into a perfect grin. Up close, I could see a smattering of freckles over her nose and dotting her cheeks. The sun had warmed her pale skin. Months of gardening and being outside had been good to her. She was glowing.
Being this near to her, noticing all the changes and how she was coming back to life made me want to hold her. Wrap my arms around her in the water and use my body to protect her. She was so tiny clinging to that life buoy and bobbing on the water. My own little water nymph, here but not quite. A mythical, mysterious, enchanting spirit that always seemed just out of my reach. A Goddess of nature; the stuff of dreams.
“Come on, little mermaid. Let’s get dried off and get you fed,” I said, breaking the spell we both seemed to be under as we clung to that ring. She nodded and I swam us to the ladder attached to the side of the yacht, pulling the ring and her as I did.
I helped her to grab onto the first rung then followed as she climbed up. The pervert in me wanted to look up, so I could get a load of her ass as she stepped above me. God knows how I kept myself in check, but I did. I deserved a fucking medal for my restraint.
I hopped over the railings and back onto deck then grabbed some towels lying to the side. I dried off pretty easily, but for Wednesday, it wasn’t that simple. She was towelling her hair dry, but the clothes she’d worn and decided to swim in clung to her, making her look like a drowned rat. I defied anyone to not take pity on her right then; she looked so helpless.
“Here, put my T-shirt on. You can’t sit in soaking wet clothes for the rest of the day.” I picked my T-shirt up off the bench and passed it to her. She took it from me, but the panicked look on her face told me all I needed to know. “Don’t worry. I’ll turn around so you have some privacy.”
I spun round to face the rear of the boat and give her the space she needed to shed herself of the wet clothes and cover her modesty with my shirt. Minutes later, I felt her tap my shoulder, and I turned back around. I didn’t realise that seeing her standing there in my clothes would have quite the effect on me that it did. My shirt reached mid-thigh on her, and I couldn’t stop myself from noticing how tanned and toned her legs looked as she bent over and lay her little playsuit thing against the edge of the boat to dry. The urge to walk up behind her and run my hands up those golden, silky thighs had me squirming and feeling all kinds of uncomfortable. Instead, I masked my growing arousal by setting the sandwiches, drinks, and snacks I’d packed out onto the bench. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her run her fingers through her damp pony tail and sigh. Then she…
Woah.
Did she just sniff my T-shirt?
It certainly looked like she did. Did I affect her in the same way that she affected me?
* * *
“You know,I could quite happily spend the rest of my life on this boat,” I said, leaning back into the cushioned bench and closing my eyes. The fresh sea air was playing tricks on my brain. I only wanted to be with her. The rest of the world I could give or take. I knew she felt safer too. I’d never seen her so at peace. She looked radiant, even more beautiful if that was possible. “Do we have to go back?” I joked, and she gave a slight laugh, an almost silent chuckle meant just for me.
I don’t know what came over me, but I couldn’t stop my hand from reaching out to the stray hairs that the wind was whipping from out of her ponytail and tucking them behind her ear. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and her lips parted, taking a deep breath in. I could have sworn she was about to say something to me, and in the magic of the moment, I was paralysed. Cast under a spell by her quiet, unassuming, but totally mesmerising beauty. But then she broke eye contact and it was gone. A fleeting moment, so precious yet so fragile, like the wings of those butterflies she always gave me. What the fuck was happening to me? My girl was turning me into some lovesick fool, ready to recite poetry and drown in her appreciative smiles. And you know what? I bloody loved it.
That boat tripwas probably the best day of my life so far. Granted, I hadn’t been blessed with that many happy memories lately. But being with him, experiencing all the sea had to offer and more was everything. Just thinking about the day I’d have to say goodbye to him made my throat constrict in pain. That was a band aid I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to rip off.
Was I dependent on him? Sometimes. But I wanted to believe that I could make it on my own, even if I didn’t actually want to. I never thought I’d say it, but I liked having someone special in my life. Someone to be there for me, to look out for me. And yet, I needed more.
It felt like we both left that yacht with a heavy heart, not wanting to break the ever fragile bubble we’d created that day. Every time he’d looked at me, my skin prickled and goose bumped. When he tucked my hair behind my ear, I almost blurted out the words that I’d kept locked up deep within me all these weeks. Words that expressed feelings I never thought I’d ever experience again; not in this lifetime. Feelings and emotions he’d gifted me with his kindness and crazy ways. There was no one like him. I’d never met anyone as ridiculous, lovely, and insanely beautiful as Cill James, and I knew I never would. He was it for me. He was the mark to which every other man who came into my life would fall short. My happy never after.
That evening,we both lay on the couches, watching reruns ofBrooklyn Nine-Nine, one of Cill’s favourite shows. Doing something as simple as watching T.V. under a cosy blanket made me feel warm inside. Having him close and listening to him roar with laughter was the icing on the cake. I couldn’t remember a time that I’d felt this centred and whole. Even being at home, before everything with the brothers, things had always been off kilter.
My father was always away on business, and when he was home, he was distant and unapproachable. My mum walked on eggshells around him, and life always felt somewhat fractured. Like we were all waiting for a bomb to go off and shatter the life Mum so meticulously maintained for us. I knew she was unhappy, but she’d never really show it, not to us anyway. Her family were the last people she’d ever turn to in her hour of need. She liked to keep order and maintain the status quo. I wondered if she’d ever lay like this with Dad, content to just hear him laugh, thankful to be in his presence.
* * *
I don’t knowhow long I’d been asleep for. I must’ve nodded off to my thoughts of family and home. But I was woken by strong arms wrapping around my body and hard muscles pulling me forwards. I didn’t scream like I would’ve a few months ago, because his soothing scent was all around me. The smell of him could never make me feel afraid; it was the biggest comfort of all. It was him.
I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to alert him to the fact that I was awake. He might put me down if he knew, and I didn’t want to sever the connection. I kinda liked being in his arms. I liked how it made me feel.
Cherished.
He lifted me off the couch like I weighed nothing, but I could feel the flex of the muscles in his arms as he tensed with the effort. He was doing everything in his power to be as gentle as he could and not wake me. I rested my head on his hard chest and I heard the soft thump of his heartbeat. A steady beat that linked to mine. I loved that sound. I loved being so close to him. Where was he taking me?
“Come on, Xena,” he whispered, and I heard the patter of her little paws on the hardwood floor as she followed him. “Time to put my girls to bed.”
My tummy flipped and my heart did a little happy dance. He called us his girls.
He carried me carefully up each step then veered in the direction of my room and nudged the door open. When he laid me on my bed and stood away from me, I mourned the loss of his heated embrace. I didn’t stay cold for long though, as I felt the bed dip, and he reached across to pull the duvet over me. I lay still, almost too scared to breathe, in case it shattered the illusion.
He didn’t leave right away. Instead, he brushed the hair out of my face and stroked my cheek. Those calloused fingers felt like heaven against my skin, and I had to hold myself back from leaning into his touch.
“My precious girl,” he whispered to the room, and then he stole the air from my lungs as he leant down and kissed my forehead. His soft lips lingered and I felt him exhale an unsteady breath.
