“You were my first cock,” Faris said with a grin, as Bram wrapped his hands around Faris' ass, tugging him forward. His tongue dipped out and lapped at the shiny head, eliciting groans from both of them. “Oh, you beautiful banana barbarian!” Faris shouted as his dick disappeared between Bram's lips. I glanced at Saige, who caught my eye and gave me an 'I have no idea what the fuck that means' look.
It was over seconds later. Faris was so ramped up and sensitive from everything that had already happened. I guessed Bram really did have a magic tongue because damn, my brother looked as though his feet actually left the ground with the force of his release. I removed my finger from Sloane and patted his hole, earning myself his signature scowl a moment before I was spun and pressed against the boulder, his mouth sealed on mine.
“You fucked me like you've lived your life, Fischer,” he murmured when he broke the kiss. When I didn't respond, he continued. “Holding back. Don't get me wrong, it was fantastic—but you're still fighting with yourself. I think we're all finding out who we really are, and I want you to set yourself free. I helped you cage yourself for far too long, but now I'm going to help you fly.” He brushed hair off my forehead and pressed his lips to my flushed skin. My eyes pricked with tears that seemed to have come out of nowhere, and I swallowed roughly, nodding.
“Let's head back and try to get some sleep. Also, snacks. I want some deep-fried pickles with ranch dressing. Oh! And Kai made me some fresh pico de gallo and guacamole. Okay, new plan. Buffet in the kitchen first, then sleep,” Saige rambled, moving around the cave and gathering up clothing.
“Where are we gonna get deep-fried pickles at this hour?” Sloane whispered to me and the other guys.
“Hell if I know, but we better figure out how to make them before she gets hangry,” Bram replied, a hint of real fear in his voice.
“I'll run back and wake up Kai. He'll know what to do,” Faris declared, and we all nodded in agreement.
“Thank fuck for six mates,” I muttered teasingly, but my heart felt full; I was thankful that we all offered different things for her.
Sloane's words filtered back through my mind, and my stomach clenched with a wave of anxious energy. He was right. I had been fighting myself my entire life, and I'd hoped that by Faris getting his own body, this darkness within would have been purged from my soul.
Blackness started slinking in at the edges of my vision and I blinked, panicking when it didn't recede immediately as it had in the past. What was a man supposed to do when the monster he'd been fighting his whole life actually ended up being himself?
“Ready, Gup?” Saige asked, taking my hand. I gave her a plastic smile, and turned before she could see through the act.
“Yeah, sweetheart. Let's go home.”
Icleaned up the mess I'd made from the deep-fried pickles my Cub had requested, grinning at the memory of her little moans of delight as she’d devoured them. I'd make her whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it. I'd never cooked homemade fried pickles before, but damn, I took a moment to toot my own horn. They'd turned out amazing.
The five of them had disappeared upstairs to get some more sleep, but I was wide awake now and itching for something to do. Snagging the dish towel that was hanging on the oven handle, I dried my hands and looked around the room. Hmm, there had to be something. My eyes landed on my yoga mat propped up in the corner. It had been a long time since I'd done yoga, but I was feeling better this week than I had in a while. Maybe fulfilling my years-old promise to Sloane to kill his father was exactly what I'd needed to get myself out of the funk that had taken hold of me, refusing to let me go.
I grabbed my mat, and headed outside. The sun was just breaking the horizon, scattering rays of pink and orange through the sky. This was my favorite time of day and I found myself standing still, tipping my head back to feel the heat of the early morning sun on my skin. Grounded. That's how I felt whenever my bare feet dipped into the grass, the blades soft and pliant. A gentle breeze caressed my hair, sweeping through the landscape like a whisper into the ear of your love when they were in between sleep and wakefulness. It was there, fleeting and gentle, just enough to let you know you weren’t alone.
Nature always grounded me and I felt like kicking myself for not doing this sooner. That was the funny thing about depression. Despite knowing what you can do to cope and make things better for yourself, some days you just can't find the energy or the drive to do shit about it. Well, I was going to be a dad, and I didn't want to let my girls down with my unmanaged mental health. I walked through the grass, determination flooding my veins.I'm strong. I'm worthy. My intrusive thoughts are warped, harmful things that have no business in my brain.
I rolled out my mat; the sounds of the birds would be my music this morning. I cleared my head of everything, letting my stress and worries pour off of me, giving them to the earth to deal with. My body fell into a routine I knew by heart, muscle memory doing the work for me. I stretched, feeling the burn in my muscles as I turned my body into a blur of long lines and curved silhouettes. Sweat ran down my back, and I trembled with exertion. I really was out of practice.
Deciding not to push it and injure myself, I ended my session, breathing heavily. I used the hem of my tank to wipe the moisture from my face and fell still when I heard someone nearby. I turned to find Cam pushing off of the cottage and walking to where I was.
“What's up, man?” I panted, still catching my breath.
His emerald eyes studied my face for a beat. “That looked peaceful.”
I smiled, squatting to pick up my mat. “It was. It's been too long since I've done my morning yoga. Seemed like it was time.”
“Good. I'm glad to see you doing something for yourself.” Cam looked out toward the woods. Whether he was searching for something or simply taking in the scenery, I wasn't sure, but I joined him anyway.
“You okay?” I asked him, my hands busy rolling up the mat.
He grunted, ever the stoic big guy.
“Hmm. So in Cam speak, that'd be an ‘I'm fine but worried about something?’” I guessed, and he side eyed me and gave a chuckle.
“Fuck off,” he teased gruffly, shoulder bumping me. I waited him out though; something was on his mind. “I want to check out that facility today. The one where Rick said Asrael was keeping the dragons. We should do some recon to see what we can find out. If we can get a leg up, then we need to take it.”
“Yeah, I agree. I figured we'd be doing that soon. I just need to grab a shower first. Who do you want to take?” I asked, already knowing he'd want at least a few of us to stay with Saige.
He twisted his beard with his fingers as he thought. “I think Sloane, Faris, Fish, Bram and Rick should go.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off before I could even get a word out. “I know you'd be great there, but listen to my reasoning. Sloane because he’s a dragon himself. Faris because he's fast, and Fischer because of his telepathic abilities. Rick so he can guide them to where it is, and Bram so he can jump with the guys and get them back instantly if needed. I think I might see if Khol wants to go too. He's got a score to settle with Asrael just as much as us.”
“But you're not going?” I asked, surprised. Cam was our leader. He always went on assignments; it was like his need to be in control wouldn't allow him to sit back and let everyone else handle things.
