He grinned. “One good thing about being a third son is that I didn’t inherit any estate. And I haven’t bothered to acquire a country residence. Until I stumbled on Carmichael Steelworks and set my heart on buying it, I couldn’t be sure where in the country my physical focus would be.”
“Whether Sheffield or London?”
“Or Nottingham or some other town. There was no point in settling on a locality until I’d completed my critical acquisitions.” He glanced around, then met her gaze. “When we wed, I’ll be perfectly content living here.”
Ignoring his unrelenting confidence, she imagined them living together and arched her brows. “At the manor or in Portobello Street or both?”
“Both.” Martin studied her profile, seeking insight into what she needed to know. They ambled on, and he faced forward. Given he wanted her to join her life with his, it was, transparently, time to reveal his plans. Possibly all of them, which went very much against his grain; exposing any vulnerability never came easily to men like him, and he’d learned from long experience to keep his deepest desires close to his chest, to keep his most precious dreams hidden, protected and shielded from interference.
Negotiating a marriage is different from landing a business deal.
He drew a deeper breath and said, “Until I met you, my vision of what I most wished my future life to be—the entirety of it, personal and social as well as business—was largely opaque. I had most of the business elements in place, but the rest was hazy and essentially undefined. Then I met you, and the vision cleared, more or less instantly.” Remembering that moment, he glanced at her. “I saw you, and everything fell into place, and the entire picture was complete and sharp and clear.”
That instant of stunning clarity flared vividly in his mind and underscored how much he had riding on the conversation. “Seeing you—meeting you—was a revelation. You filled the gaps in my mental picture. In terms of creating my most-desired life, you are the essential central focus, the vital element.”
He needed to make her see the future he envisioned so clearly. He needed to make her want it as much as he did. “I’ve been constructing my life, brick by brick, piece by piece, for all my adult life. I started when I went to America. Even before that, I’d accepted that my life was mine to make or break, that it was up to me to craft the interesting, engaging, exciting existence I craved.” He glanced briefly at her; as he’d hoped, she was listening intently. Looking ahead, he continued, “I walked into Carmichael Steelworks still lacking a critical piece of my personal edifice—the central element required to link the other pieces into a cohesive whole. And there you were. I knew the instant I saw you that the last piece I needed for my most-desired life was right in front of me and that creating the perfect whole was, finally, possible.”
He reviewed what he’d said and, lips twisting wryly, admitted, “That sounds as if I’m speaking of my business interests and how Carmichael Steelworks will complete my chain of businesses, but that’s…” He paused, then went on, “I was going to say that’s only a part of it, but it would be more accurate to say that, in this, what’s right for me business-wise aligns perfectly with what I most want and need on a personal level.”
He looked at her and, when she glanced his way, met her eyes. “While, with you, my business and personal needs intertwine, it’s the personal side that dominates. Until now, business has largely filled my life, but I don’t want that to be the case going forward. If I fail to secure Carmichael Steelworks as the centerpiece of my steel portfolio, I’ll find some other business that, while it might not be such a perfect fit, will nevertheless work well enough.”
He filled his lungs, conscious of an unaccustomed tightness about his chest, and forced himself to say, “But if I fail to secure you as my wife…” He felt his face harden, and he looked ahead. “That will leave a bigger, possibly unfillable and ineradicable hole in the structure of my most-desired life.”
With her attention wholly fixed on him, until then, she’d paced silently beside him. Now, she nodded and murmured, “Hence your insistence on marriage. On gaining my agreement to marry you.”
He dipped his head to her. “Exactly.” He paused, then voice lowering, said, “I can’t entirely explain it, even to myself, but lying with you without marrying you, or at least having that agreed between us, just won’t work. Not for me. Not with you. It’s almost as if something inside me would view that as betraying my vision.” He hesitated, then put the true label on it. “Betraying my most-precious dream.”
Speaking the words brought the reality into sharp focus, and understanding and insight into his own motivation swelled. “It’s about commitment.” Immediately, he sensed that was correct. “Through all the adventures I’ve experienced and the travails I’ve faced—and there’ve been many—I’ve learned one universal, inviolable truth, namely that, even though so little in life is certain, genuine commitment to an ideal and devotion to making it a reality will steer a person to achieve both happiness and success.”
Voice firming, he went on, “Committing to a vision and staying the course almost always delivers that most elusive of things, happiness. After all my efforts over the past twenty years, I want happiness. I want to be content.”
He met her eyes. “I want you as my wife. All the rest is either incidental or will fall into place.”
Sophy searched his eyes and saw conviction and resolution shining strongly. The tones and cadence of his voice made clear that establishing a home and family was the core of the milestone he hoped to find at the end of a journey he’d embarked on a long time ago. She dipped her head in understanding. “You want me as your wife because I fit into and fill the empty space in your life.”
“Completely. To achieve my dream, I need nothing more than you.”
She was starting to appreciate that, and it was an alluring and tempting realization. But she had to—needed to—consider her own wants and needs.
Their slow perambulation had taken them across the parterre. They reached the far edge, and she continued onto the lawn beyond. Her gaze on the grass, she said, “Given that, what I need to decide is whether you fit into and properly completemylife—my life as I want it to be.”
From the corner of her eye, she saw his black brows rise, but then he inclined his head. “Yes. That’s true.”
The entrance to the shrubbery beckoned, and she angled in that direction. He paced by her side, shortening his stride to match hers.
As the archway in the hedge neared, she drew breath, raised her head, and determined, plunged in. “Ifwe married, would you expect me to cease working at the steelworks?”
“Good God, no!” He stared at her, shock vying with disbelief and mild horror in his face. “That is…” He swallowed and faced forward. “Is that what you want? To cease your activities at the steelworks?”
She hid a smile; he was still trying to be honorable. “No, of course not. I would expect to remain in the role I currently fill, including overseeing the alloys on the floor. Indeed, that especially.”
He let out the breath he’d been holding and nodded earnestly. “Good. That’s exactly as I’d hoped.” A second later, he cast her a shrewd glance. “And just so we’re clear, I view your talents with alloys as one of the principal assets of the steelworks. I wouldn’t want to lose that.”
She would have smiled broadly, but quashed the impulse; they were still some way from defining an acceptable arrangement. She thought further, then observed, “You’re clearly not envisioning a conventional marriage.”
He snorted. “Of course not. That was never on the cards. Not for me”—he shot her a glance—“and not for you, either.” She acknowledged that with a dip of her head, and he went on, “I’m thirty-seven, yet far from beating a path to any altar, I actively avoid all matrimonial snares by assiduously limiting my time in society. I’ve three older siblings, and all are married and have been for some time.” A fond smile touched his lips. “I have a small army of nephews and nieces who claim me as their favorite uncle.”
She was intrigued, but before she could ask for details, he concluded, “So I’ve no pressing need to marry.”
