My gut swirled with excitement at the heat in his eyes. “Sounds good to me.”
We got out and started walking. It was just after lunchtime, and my stomach growled as we walked into the lobby of Marcello’s Restaurant and Bar. The hostess led us through the dark restaurant where muted murals of Italy adorned the walls. She seated us in the sunny courtyard, purple lobelia and morning glory weaving around the wooden lattice above.
Fortunately, the waitress arrived at our table almost immediately and took our drink and food order. Once she’d left us, Tanner reached his hand across the table and grabbed my hand. He smiled warmly as my pulse sped up. He rubbed his thumb over my flesh, sending tingles through my hand.
“It’s so good to just be alone with you,” he said softly.
I nodded. “I agree. I’ve missed this.” I raised his hand to my lips, and he sighed.
“Did you really mean what you said earlier in the car? About not wanting to lose what we have together?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He smiled as if relieved.
The waitress returned with our margaritas, and after a few sips, I asked, “What kind of stuff did Detective Pole ask you?” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I had little doubt he could see through me.
“He asked a lot of stuff about you.”
My gut tensed. “Great.”
He cleared his throat. “He told me about what my dad did.” I grimaced. “The background check.”
My face froze, and I straightened. “He did?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Yes. He said I should ask you about that.”
“Obviously it upset me.” I dropped my gaze.
“It upset me that he’d violate your privacy that way.” He sighed. “That sums up my dad though; it was always about him. Is that why you argued with him?”
“Yes.” I felt like I was about to hyperventilate. “Did Detective Pole tell you anything about what the report had in it?”
He leaned toward me. “He said I should ask you about that.”
I winced. “Why does it matter? Why the fuck does it matter who I was, Tanner? I swear, I’m a different person now.”
He nodded, his gaze empathetic. “I know.”
“Why can’t the past just stay where it is?”
He shrugged. “I think the only part that really bugs me is that you obviously don’t trust that I’ll still feel the same about you. Makes me feel like you think I’m pretty fucking shallow.”
“I… I don’t think you’re shallow.”
“Then why wouldn’t you just come clean with me?” He frowned. “I get why maybe you were scared at first. If there are things about you that embarrass you, I get why when you didn’t know me, maybe you’d have kept those things to yourself.” His mouth pulled down at the corners. “But now… you know me. You know how I feel about you. The only reason you wouldn’t tell me that stuff is because you think you can’t trust me to still feel the same for you. That hurts. Makes me feel like you don’t know me at all.”
I clenched my jaw, feeling confused. “Tanner, I didn’t just have unpaid parking tickets or something.”
“And you think if you tell me something bad about yourself, I’ll judge you?”
“No. Maybe. Fuck, I don’t know.” I raked a shaky hand through my hair. “Maybe I just don’t want you to ever see me that way. Maybe I want you to see the man in front of you instead.”
“I do see you. Very clearly. The man you are today is who…” He hesitated and then lifted his chin. “The man you are today is who I love.”
My heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice. I knew he was afraid to say those words out loud to me. I wrapped my fingers around his, my eyes stinging. “I love you too.”
