There was a knock on the shop door, and I went to answer it. Tanner stood there holding two cups of coffee. He was smiling, but there were lines under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept well.
“Morning,” I said, taking one of the cups. “This was a nice gesture.”
“I figured you could use caffeine as bad as I do.” He sipped his coffee and sighed. “You about ready to hit the road?”
“I am.” I locked the door behind us, balancing my coffee in the crook of my arm. I’d already warned my regulars I’d be closed for a few days because of the wedding, so I wasn’t worried about closing up the shop for the day. I followed Tanner to his car, and when I slid onto the leather seat, I let out a long sigh.
He glanced over. “Not that you’d tell me the truth, but are you doing okay?”
“I’m doing awesome. Who doesn’t love being suspected of murder?”
“Seth.” His voice was exasperated.
“I didn’t mean you. I meant Detective Pole.” I grimaced.
“Oh.” He lowered his sunglasses over his eyes and then pulled out into traffic.
“How’s your mom?” I studied his stern profile.
“She’s a mess.”
“Yeah. I’m sure she is.” I hesitated. “And how are you?”
He shook his head. “God. I don’t know. I wasn’t close to my dad… but he was still my dad. You know? I can’t believe he’s gone.”
“I understand.” I sipped my coffee, thankful for the little boost it was already giving me. I felt numb about what was probably going to happen at the police station. I no longer had to worry about Douglas outing me, now Detective Pole would do that instead. He hadn’t struck me as guy who missed much. But he had it wrong if he thought I’d killed Douglas.
I’d stayed up half the night trying to decide whether to tell Tanner about his father trying to shake me down. It felt so disrespectful to speak ill of the dead; however, the fact that Douglas had been so desperate for money could be a clue as to why he’d died. Maybe someone he’d owed money to had come to collect.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I think I should stay with my mom for the rest of the week. I don’t want her alone. Her sister is flying in Sunday to stay with her as long as she needs.”
“No. Of course I don’t mind.” I watched the coastline fly by as we drove along.
His jaw tensed. “Yeah, it would be nice if you minded a little.”
I frowned. “You want me to be the kind of asshole who doesn’t want you to put your family first?”
“Not really.” He gave a sheepish laugh. “But it would be nice to think… that you miss staying with me a little.”
“I never said I didn’t miss you.” I was surprised he seemed miffed. It was kind of endearing actually. I liked that he was being open about his feelings, although I knew he’d probably change his tune the second he found out about my record. “I figure this is a pretty traumatic time for you and your mom. I’d be out of line to expect you to hang out with me right now.”
“Yeah. I’m sure you’re just being considerate.” He sighed.
“I am, Tanner.” I reached out and touched his arm. “I felt bad not being there for you last night. But I knew it was for the best that you stayed with your mom.”
His gaze was relieved. “I’m being a baby.”
“Jesus, your dad just died. You’re allowed.”
After the awkwardness of last night, it felt good to be back to how we usually were. I’d missed the warmth and connection we’d shared. Maybe this would last. Maybe I’d get lucky and Detective Pole wouldn’t feel the need to share my record with Tanner. I wouldn’t think my past had any actual bearing on the case, but the detective might speak freely in front of Tanner without realizing he didn’t already know about my past. It wasn’t crazy to think I’d have told my husband all my secrets.
“I feel like this is a nightmare. I just want to wake up,” he said softly.
“God. I know. I’m sorry.” I slid my fingers between his, loving the heat of his skin against mine. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“Thanks. I’m also worried about you.”
I frowned. “In what way?”
