“Coach Robbins went around him to Mike Brady. Mike’s been looking for a reason to get rid of Collins, but unfortunately, he’s good at his job, and he’s careful when he’s not. Sounds like he was less careful with you. Make a note of that. Use that. Don’t let these fuckers win.”
I breathe out a long sigh and take a swig of my drink. Even though that new information pisses me off, it also makes it easier to breathe. Logically, I know Brian and I are not the problem, but this puts it all in a new perspective. And there are likely far more people on our side than we realized.
“Makes sense why Coach looked like he was chewing glass for the entire meeting.”
“Yeah, Coach is not his biggest fan.”
“They should promote him to GM and ditch Collins. It wouldn’t take that much to find a good reason.”
“He doesn’t want the position. He prefers coaching.”
“I can see that, actually.” It’s why our team is one of the best in the league right now. “How do you know all this?”
He smiles and takes a drink. “When you’ve been around as long as I have, you notice things and people let secrets slip.”
At that, my brow furrows again.Secrets. That’s what it feels like Brian and I are right now. A dirty little secret.
I’ve officially been queer for less than a month, and I already hate everything about having to hide who I am and who I love. I know it’s privileged as fuck because there are plenty of places where safety is a genuine concern when people talk about coming out. I’m glad we don’t have to deal with that, but I don’t like having my career threatened or being told I can only live my life openly with someone else’s permission. Why the fuck does anyone else care? It’s bullshit.
“They threatened to trade one of us. Collins did.”
“And you’re surprised by that? I’m not saying it’s right, but anything different or out of their norm or what they consider problematic—most teams are eager to get rid of that.”
“If I’m honest, I’m pissed at myself about how naive I was going into this. I grew up knowing how dark and hostile this world can be, but I always chose to be a bright spot in the darkness. And I’ve made every effort to surround myself with people who view the world the same way. Maybe I let myself get a little too complacent.”
“You’re creating the world you want to live in—that you want others to thrive in. That’s a good thing. But even as you do that, the hostility and hatred are still out there.”
“Collinsimpliedthat Brian and I coming out—being together—could affect team dynamics and ticket sales. What do you think?”
“Someone sneezing wrong in the locker room can affect team dynamics. As for ticket sales?” He waves a hand. “I highly doubt it’s going to affect anything that much. Sure, there are undoubtedly homophobes in our audience, but homophobic enough that they’d give up their favorite pastime or favorite team? Unlikely. They’d probably just add you to their prayer lists. Love the sinner, not the sin, and all that bullshit.”
I snort at that and take a drink.
“Did they ever suggest you not tell the world about Kayla?”
“No. But that’s because I didn’t mention it to them. It wasn’t mine to tell, and I’m never going to dictate to my daughter who she can be or how she can live her life.”
“They say you shouldn’t meet your heroes, but every so often, you meet a good one. I appreciate you, man.”
He smiles. “You’re a good one too, Ryan. I’ve seen that from the beginning.”
“Do you think we should wait until the offseason? Or longer?”
“I can’t tell you what to do or not to do. I think the only point they really have is team dynamics this close to postseason, but it’s still ultimately your decision who you tell when and how you do it. You and Brian need to figure that out together.” Then he smiles and sighs. “But in a different way, I get it.”
“What secret are you keeping?”
He swallows and looks down at his drink, and I know before he tells me. “I’m retiring at the end of the season. I’ve been wavering about whether to tell the team. The last thing I want is to add more pressure to the postseason, but I don’t want to blindside anyone either. So I’m waiting and hoping I’ll know when the time is right.” He bumps his elbow against mine.
“When the time is right.” It sounds a lot simpler than worrying about everyone else. We need to trust ourselves to know what’s right for us. “Thanks, Wendell.”
“Anytime. And I mean that. Even after I retire, I’ve got your back.”
I let out another long breath, some of the tension in my shoulders easing. That doesn’t manage the Chet Collins of it all, but it helps take some of the pressure off my shoulders.
When I get backto the apartment, I’m ready to curl up and relax with my man. We have plenty to deconstruct after that meeting, but I don’t even care. As long as I’m cuddling on the couch with Brian, I’ll be happy.
I get to the end of the hallway and find the lights low, a fire glowing in the fireplace, flowers scattered around the room, andBrian standing next to the coffee table, candles and a fancy meal set up on it.
