“Happy New Year.”
I’m awake too early.
It’s New Year’s Day and our last day off before jumping into practice for our last game of the regular season. Then it’ll be postseason, and days off will vary even more. Everything moves more quickly. There’s a lot that needs to happen over the next couple of weeks, and extra sleep won’t be one of those things.
I should be enjoying it now, but I can’t. I’m wide awake, staring at Brian’s peaceful, sleepy expression. Sometimes I wonder if there was an exact moment I fell in love with him. Ican’t say I’ve always thought he looked beautiful while sleeping—and I definitely didn’t stare at him long enough to notice. But it’s been longer than I’d like to admit that I’ve had this extra layer of softness for him.
I haven’t put the word out there yet, but I know what it is. Surprisingly, I’m in no rush to say it. Not out of fear, but because I don’t feel like I have to. Our actions speak louder than anything else does.
Brian’s legs are still tangled up with mine. I can’t imagine not sleeping like this. If I could, I’d spend every moment touching him. Physical touch has always been my love language, but with Brian, it’s so much stronger. His touch doesn’t just ground me, it makes me feel more like myself. Like I’m moremewith him.
I’ll take it as a sign that it’s right. Even though there’s not a shred of a doubt about that. There are plenty of unknowns and things we haven’t talked about, but my feelings and commitment to him aren’t on that list. If he’ll have me, I’ll keep him forever. Though from his reaction when I say things like that, it’s clear how deeply he feels the same. He’ll get these looks sometimes like he might cry out of happiness. Like last night after we kissed at midnight. He stared at me in awe, like no one else in the world could ever captivate him the way I do. It’s an honor to be the person he feels that way about.
It’s my goal to always make him feel just as cherished. Actually, that’s not enough. I want him to feel like the most desired man in the world, and for him to know that no one will ever care for him the way I do.
My phone vibrates on the bedside table. I reach for it and find a text from Christy.
Christy: Happy New Year! I couldn’t wait any longer to text you or else I would’ve forgotten, and no one wants to wish someone a happy January 2nd.
Me: LOL. I’m surprisingly awake right now. How was New Year’s in London?
Christy: Amazing! I kissed three cute people.
Me: At the same time? Sounds complicated.
Christy: Not at the same time. That would be too many tongues.
Me: Any tongue better than the others?
Christy: We’ll see. What about you? Kiss anyone special?
I run my tongue over the roof of my mouth, a smile growing on my face. Besides Mark and Frannie, no one else knows about us yet. But we’re planning to tell our families, and probably the rest of the Baker Girls gang later today, so I might as well let Christy be the first person I officially tell.
Or show.
Leaning over, I gently press my lips to Brian’s temple while snapping a picture.
He inches closer, throwing an arm over me in his sleep.
Me: Maybe.
Me: [picture message]
The three little dots appear and disappear a couple of times before a text comes through.
Christy: OMG! You finally stopped being a scaredy-cat and told him. And it seems like you had a very happy New Year.
Me: My best ever.
Christy: I’m squealing right now, and my friends are staring at me, but I don’t even care. I’m happy for you. You deserve to be loved the way you love, and I don’t think anyone could match that but him. Enjoy your day, and whenever you decide to go public with this, I’ve got your back. Love you.
Me: Thanks. Love you too.
I’m about to set my phone aside when I see the Baker Girls group chat a few messages below my conversation with Christy. Glancing at Brian, I consider whether it’ll bother him if I tell them all right now. He won’t want to deal with all the people-ing from it. If I text them now, I can handle it. And they can get it all out of their systems before we see them next.
So, I pull up the chat.
Me: Happy New Year!
