Nodding, I wrap my arms around his neck, then press kisses along the column of his throat, his beard tickling my skin. “I am.”
I love how careful he is with me. He always puts my needs before his own, is never selfish or demanding or impatient with me. And that just makes me want to give him more, to give him everything I have.
“Take me to bed,” I say, my breath causing goose bumps to rise along his neck.
I don’t have to tell him twice.
With ease, he wraps one arm around my back and one beneath my knees, then stands from his armchair, holding me like I weigh nothing in his arms.
“If my witch commands,” he says.
“I do!”
Chuckling again, he starts toward the bedroom, and I tell myself to enjoy every one of these last few moments I have with him, because when the sun rises tomorrow morning, he’ll be gone.
Chapter 47
Cairn
“THAT’S THE LAST OF THEM,” I say after hefting a heavy trunk into the back of the wagon that’s come to take me to Columbine Conservatory. They sent it for me, and it’s nice—a big covered thing that’ll keep all my belongings dry, with hardy wheels that aren’t impeded by the fresh snow that fell overnight.
I turn, and Lyra is standing there, Juniper on her shoulder. Snow drifts down from the gray-blue sky, catching in her curls and crimson lashes.
My heart pangs for her, a mix of pain and longing and... maybe something more.
Her gaze flicks past me, to the wagon and the waiting driver, who’s bundled up against the cold and smoking a sweet-scented pipe while patiently waiting for me.
“Well,” she says, “I guess this is it.”
“I guess so . . .”
The snow falls silently, turningthe world quiet.
It’s now or never, I suppose.
I reach into the inner pocket of my heavy cloak and pull out a letter. I wrote it last night, after Lyra fell asleep. Now, I hold it out to her with some hesitation.
“What’s this?” She tips her head and takes it from me.
And now that it’s in her possession instead of mine, there will be no taking back what I said in the letter, no undoing it. It’s done.
“A letter,” I say. “But... wait until I’m gone to read it.” My face tingles with a bit of warmth, and I hope she can’t see it against my brown cheeks. I flick my tail and shift my weight in the snow.
Lyra arches a brow at me, and her lips pull up on one side. “All right.” She slides it into her own pocket, then meets my eyes again. And a breath later, she’s closing the short distance between us and wrapping her arms around my waist, burying her face against my chest. Even Juniper looks up at me with what I want to think is a touch of sadness in her glassy eyes.
“Take care of yourself,” she says. “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
That makes me laugh, and I reach down to embrace her, careful not to squish Juniper where she’s still perched on Lyra’s shoulder. “That won’t be a problem.”
Lyra pulls back just far enough to look into my eyes.
Now that I’m no longer an employee here, it doesn’t matter who sees me with Lyra. So, without caring about the driver behind us, I cup Lyra’s freckled cheeks in my palms and bend to press a kiss to her lips. They’re a bit cold from the snow, but they warm beneath my mouth, and I try topour all my thoughts and feelings into this one kiss. And I think it works, because when I pull away, tears are gathering along Lyra’s lower eyelids, shining like little crystals in the winter sunlight.
I use my thumbs to brush the moisture away. “I’ll see you for Ostara,” I say softly. Then my lips tug up. “Don’t forget about me in the meantime.”
She shakes her head and lets out a small laugh. “Impossible.”
Our breath mingles in the cold air, steaming around our lips in the space between us.
