“I think they should just leave him there,” I grumble. “Let him turn to dust.”
She shakes her head at me and lets out a sigh. “He was helpful. He led Grandfather to therealculprit behind all that. So now the person responsible can face justice.” Her fingers curl into fists in her lap, and her eyes narrow as she stares out the window at the snow-tipped trees. “Ifsomething had happened to Raelan,” she whispers, “I don’t know what I’d have done.”
I don’t think any of us like reliving that night, but Alina likes it least of all.
“You okay?” I say after an extended silence.
She shakes her head a bit and blinks the faraway look from her eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. What was I saying before?”
“You’re going to the cottage.”
“Oh, right.” She smiles while tucking a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “You’re welcome to join us. You can come stay if you’d like. The forest is so peaceful, especially in the snow.”
My shoulders rise and fall with a shrug. “I don’t know.”
What I really want is to see my dad, to wake up in my bed and to smell the terrible coffee he brews before going out to work in his woodshop. I want to be somewhere that doesn’t feel like it could change at any moment. Somewhere that I feel I can depend on.
The air around me grows colder, and when I look over at Alina, her lips are pulled down. I think I hurt her feelings without meaning to.
“It’s not that I don’t want to visit,” I explain. “I really just want to see Papa. It feels like it’s been forever since I was home.”
The chill in the air from Alina’s frost magic disperses. She nods. “I understand.” She squeezes my knee, then stands up. “Just know that you’re always welcome. And I’m sure Raelan would love to give you a bucket and watch you mop the floors.”
This makes me smile, and it feels good. “That dragon can scrub his own floors, thank you very much. If I visit, it’ll be to do absolutely nothing.”
“Sounds like a good way to spend the holiday.” Alina gives me a real smile, then lifts a hand. “All right, I’ll go. But don’t be late for dinner. They’re serving apple pie for dessert tonight. Yuki already tried to sneak in and steal some.”
My stomach grumbles at the thought.
“I won’t. I’ll be back soon.”
Alina descends the stairs, and once she’s gone, I resume staring out the window. The snow is starting up again, falling from the gray sky in a slow, silent dance.
“Come on,” Juniper says from beside me. She tugs the sleeve of my sweater with her tiny paws. “Let’s go get some apple pie. That always makes you feel better.”
I glance down at her, and she’s staring up at me, whiskers twitching.
I don’t think pie is going to fix this. I think Cairn is the only one who can make me feel better.
But I don’t tell Juniper that. Instead, I scoop her up and kiss the top of her warm brown head, feeling comforted by her familiar smell. “All right, let’s go. It feels like a dessert-before-dinner night anyway.”
Juniper climbs onto my shoulder and tucks herself under my hair. “Exactly what I was thinking.”
I push up from the window seat, but my eyes are drawn once more to the snow flurrying outside the window.
Everything Alina said about me and Cairn is true. So, then, why didn’t it make me feel better? And why doesthe thought of Cairn leaving still make me feel hollow inside?
As I start down the stairs, I’m left wondering if I’m meant to be alone. If the people I love are destined by fate to leave me.
Chapter 35
Lyra
ANOTHER FEW INCHES OF SNOW fell last night. Autumn has been fighting a losing battle since Samhain, but as I look out the window in my mathematics classroom, watching fat snowflakes drift from the gray sky to blanket the frozen ground, I know that winter has officially claimed victory, and it’s here to stay.
While Professor Burke drones on and on about trigonometric functions and tables—I will literallyneverneed this in the entirety of my life—I start to think about Cairn.
We’ve barely spoken since I found that letter, and I know it’s all my fault. He’s tried to mend things, has tried to reach out across the flames I’ve surrounded myself with, but I haven’t let him succeed. I’ve been too consumed with my own anger and hurt and feelings of betrayal.
