“Let’s eat. Then we can enjoy the view for as long as we want,” he urged.
I nodded, and we went to the table.
“How did you even arrange this?” I asked, gesturing to the table.
“I bring whatever I want to me. It comes with the power,” he answered, pouring the wine into our glasses.
“Just like you brought me to you,” I joked.
He looked up from the glasses.
“You know the intention behind that. I still wish we had met under different circumstances. I would have come to wherever you were if the situation were different.”
The expression on his face was solemn.
“I know, my love. I was joking.”
His face visibly softened. “What did you just call me?”
“My love,” I answered, my voice low.
He took my hand across the table and kissed it.
He didn’t say anything; he didn’t have to.
“There’s something I’ve always wondered,” he started, dropping his fork, “How come a beauty like yourself never hadsex? And I couldn’t be more honored to be your first. I just wonder—you're sensual, very pretty—why did it never happen?
That was something I didn’t think he’d be curious about. While I wasn’t thrilled to talk about past relationships, I loved that he was so interested in asking me. Considering that our biggest issue was caused by his choosing not to ask me about something crucial, it was a big step forward. I doubted if he knew it, but he was fulfilling his promise to put in every effort to make me feel his love.
“Love never felt safe for me,” I began, sighing. “Back in high school, I was learning to fight while my classmates went to the movies with their boyfriends. I thought college life would be totally different, since I had also changed considerably.”
I continued, “The first guy I met in college, Kendrick, was nice at first. But he was a control freak; he wanted to be in charge of everything I did. I totally hated it, so we broke up. I started going on dates, hanging out, you know, with guys I thought liked me. They all wanted the same thing—sex. Thinking of it now, maybe they saw me as a different type of girl because of the way I dress. I like skimpy, bright dresses.”
“They have driven me crazy too many times for me not to notice,” he remarked, a hint of amusement on his face.
My small smile left my face as I went on.
“I decided to leave the dating scene altogether when a guy tried to rape me on a date.”
His face tightened, and his brows came together.
“I fought him off. But I never felt safe with anyone. It always felt like certain things were expected of me as a condition for being treated right. I thought I felt safe with Lucien. I didn’t mind that he was older or that he had a dark side. But it wasn’t safety, and I didn’t know that until I met you.”
He looked surprised.
“You showed me what it really felt like to feel safe with someone. Before we even became married. I never felt scared of your harming me in any way. I remember that night when Lucien’s men came for me; you looked lethal with fury, but you were unexpectedly gentle with me. Even that night at the club when you punched that guy, I felt like a sheltered princess even though I was mad at you.”
“Baby…when you say things like this, I wonder how you see things. I can’t believe what I see when I look at myself through your eyes.”
“I’ll keep showing you until you believe it,” I promised, my gaze holding his.
***
My fingers moved over the keys with much more certainty.
I played one of my oldest compositions from memory. It was a soothing melody that always managed to turn my most chaotic moments into calmer ones.
I instinctively looked toward the entrance of the room without stopping the music.
