“Do you see what I’ve done here?” Clearly pleased with himself.
“I see what you did.”
“Cause you said it wasn’t summer any longer and then I brought you beer that’s called ‘Summer Ale.’” Honestly, I’ve never seen him look so proud.
“Believe me, I follow what you’re trying to accomplish.”
“I’m so glad. It’s really important to me that you do.” We crack up and he reaches for the beer. He pours one into each glass I’ve set out and hands me one. We clink glasses and drink.
“Look at us. Drinking beer in fine glassware.” His lopsided smile is back. He looks so much younger when he smiles that way.
“We’ve come a long way from you sneaking Rilla and me warm Budweiser in red plastic cups at that Fourth of July barbeque.” Rilla had made a stirring argument as to why Josh should supply us with the beer. Her closing argument was that if he didn’t, he was furtherly enabling the patriarchy.
He covers his face as he laughs. “I forgot about that!”
“I certainly didn’t.” The memory of the warm beer almost triggers my gag reflex. I couldn’t stomach the stuff until the final year of my undergrad.
The food arrives and we waste no time digging in. As we eat, we reminisce about dumb stuff we did when we were younger. Most were things that Rilla had talked us into. It’s nice. The food and beer are helping to keep the tension at bay. We’re just two hungry people shooting the shit.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed Thai food,” he confesses while adding more som tam to his plate.
“They have Thai food in Maine, last time I checked.”
“They do.” He nods, focusing on his plate. “But Eleanor doesn’t like it.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure what else to say. I’m dying to find out more about the split, but I don’t want to push him when he hasn’t offered the details willingly.
“A few years ago, she ordered it for my birthday, but she made it out to be such a personal sacrifice on her part that I never asked again.” He’s still staring at his plate.
I can’t help myself. I reach across the table and put my hand on his arm. When he finally looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes, I ask, “Did you leave her to be with Thai food?” I’m rewarded with a bark of laughter. He laughs until his eyes tear up and he has to wipe them with a paper towel. Then he shakes his head, still smiling.
“Eleanor has always known exactly what she wants and where she’s headed.” He rolls his shoulders as he sits back in his chair. “I was in awe of her in high school. She had great grades and a crazy amount of extracurriculars. When she made a plan, she followed it and she never wavered. I never really knew what she saw in me. She was exceptional, and I was so ordinary.” My jaw drops at this inaccurate self-assessment.
“You have never been ordinary,” I insist. The thought of him feeling undeserving in any way tears me up inside.
“Believe me, ordinary suits me just fine.” He sighs and slumps in his chair. “Eleanor always said I wasn’t living up to my full potential. I guess that’s why she and my dad get along so well.”
Wait, what? I always thought Tom was so supportive of both Josh and Rilla. Had I missed something? Before I can prod further, Josh stretches back in his chair. His shirt rises up, and I am treated to a few inches of his toned stomach. I look away, not wanting to ogle him when he’s allowed himself to be so vulnerable with me. When I turn my gaze back to him, his eyes are on me.
“Why aren’t you seeing anyone?” His question startles me, and I feel suddenly defensive.
“I have had boyfriends; I’m just not dating anyone at the moment.” Or likely ever again. I dated Ben during my undergrad for almost two years. When we were together, it always felt like a relationship of convenience. When our post-graduate programs took us in different directions, we parted as friends. Then there was Kurt… but I don’t want to think about him right now. “There is a guy at work who has potential.” I don’t know why I say it, but once I do, it’s out there.
“Really?” He sits up a bit, interested. “What’s he like?” What have I done? I don’t want to tell him about Andrew.
“Smart. Good looking.” That’s as far as I get. I’m having trouble finding the words to describe anything about his personality.
“So, what’s the holdup?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why don’t you ask him out?”
“Why don’tyouask him out?” Very mature, Betty.
“I prefer my men dumb and ugly.”
Point to Coach Pine. I’ve never asked anyone out. I’m not sure why. Everyone I’ve dated has been the instigator. Come to think of it, I’ve never turned anyone down for a date, even those I knew I wasn’t interested in. I’ll unpack that later. For now, I go with the work factor.
