“It means,” Kiana says, leaning in across the table to get closer to me, “that you deserve more people in your life who see and appreciate all of you. Don’t push that away.”
“I’m not.”
“Really? Because your body language and the way you shot down her summer plans said otherwise.”
I both hate and love that Kiana is so observant. It’s unnerving. “You know,” she says, “I’m not saying you have to fully understand why Juniper wants to live in her car, but you can’t be mad that she’s not a mind reader and has no context for how you grew up. She doesn’t know about how bad it was for you and your mom, but I have a feeling if you let her in, she might surprise you with her empathy.”
“I doubt it. Nobody ever gets me,” I say.
“Um, hello!” Kiana waves in my face. “Who the fuck am I? I mean, we grew up very differently, Lyric, but I listen and I hope you know I love you.”
“Yeah, but you’re different. You just—I don’t know. You don’t pity me or make offensive assumptions. She has this perfect family, Kiana—she’s used to getting everything she wants, having a safety net. And I don’t know if she can handle all my truth.”
“Nobody has a perfect family, and you don’t know what she can handle until you give her a chance to handle it.”
I roll my eyes, because of course I know this logically, but from the outside it really appears like everybody does have a more perfect family than I do.
“Look, all I’m saying is maybe invite her to do something that brings you real joy, show her the Lyric that I know is in there, once you get past all the walls. It might help get your on-screen chemistry back for your fake-dating plan or whatever. “
“They’re not walls, just partitions,” I joke.
Kiana doesn’t laugh. “You know what I mean.”
I bite my lip and nod. “Sure. I’ll try.”
Kiana grabs my hand and holds it. “I love you, Lyric. But I can’t be the only one.”
CHAPTER 10Juniper
SONG OF THE DAY:
“Someday at Christmas” by Stevie Wonder
Breathe in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…
Hold…
And breathe out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…
Wind chimes and a soft pan flute
slink through my headphones
as I sit on my bedroom floor
after school trying to center myself
through my daily guided meditation app.
Breathe in 1, 2, 3—
Who does Lyric think she is?
I didn’t ONCE judge her for her makeup obsession
or the overconsumption of products
that beauty influencers often engage in
