“I don’t know… I mean, it happened after Winter Formal.”
“WHAT?!” I scream again. “This happened over a week ago and I am just now finding out. Wait—where did it happen… when? Juniper and I were with you all night—”
“Um, it happened after I dropped you both off. In the car… we parked down the street from my house and just planned to talk and then, well, you know…”
I laugh. “Kiana—this is too juicy. Wow. Why are you frowning? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted?”
“It is. But I think I made it weird.”
“How?”
“So, we had sex, and then I don’t know. He stayed over, on the couch like we planned, and I went to my room, and the next morning we had breakfast with my dads and I panicked because he’s one of myoldest friends, and I don’t want to lose that, so before he left I told him we should just ‘forget about what happened’ and yeah—now he’s not responding to any of my texts. He didn’t even respond the last two days, when I texted that I was in Grand Rapids with my grandparents. He always wants to see me if I’m in town.”
I am speechless. My solid, confident, knows-exactly-what-she-wants, talented-at-everything friend just totally sabotaged herself.
“But you do—want to be with him, romantically.”
“I really do.”
“Then tell him that.”
“I’m trying to, but he’s not communicating with meat all. What am I supposed to do? Make a grand gesture like in a romantic comedy or something? Show up at his door? I’d look like a fool.”
“You’re not a fool. You’re gorgeous and smart and the best,” I say, starting to feel gooey and warm from the gin.
“So are you, my heart,” Kiana slurs, holding up her almost-empty tumbler. “My brilliant, beautiful, talented friend. We’re gonna figure our messy lives out one day, I promise. But not tonight because I think I’m kinda drunk.”
That sends us both into a fit of laughter.
“Hey,” I say after I’ve caught my breath. “It’s still Christmas. I think we celebrate being miserable with more booze, a little dancing in our jammies, and a comfort show.”
“Cheers to that!” she responds, clinking our glasses. We down the last drops and sneak to the bar cart for more gin. By the stroke of midnight we are danced out and wasted, curled in Ki’s bed together watchingA Different Worldon her laptop.
I might regret my decisions tomorrow, but for now, I am exactly where I need to be: tucked next to one of the best people I know—someone who loves me and sees me fully.
CHAPTER 26Juniper
SONG OF THE DAY:
“Winter Song” by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson
When I get home
Lyric’s car is gone
and the house is eerily quiet.
So much for a merry Christmas,
I mutter
taking off my snow boots
and making my way to my room.
I’m about to slam my door shut
when Mom and Mama Alice appear.
