“I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to Hess. Hess? Are you still there?”
“Yeah, Mom. Still here.”
“Good. You just take care of Camila, okay? That’s all that matters.”
“I will.” At least I’m trying to. How do you take care of someone who can’t decide if she likes you or not?
“I told your siblings you got married.” She says it like an afterthought.
“What? Mom!” I groan. “I wanted to tell them so I could explain that this isn’t a real marriage.”
“Don’t worry, I told them everything.”
“I made sure they knew you werenota gigolo,” my dad says from the cheap seats.
“Bart, stop using that word.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Mom, what did they say? I’m sure they’ll never leave me alone about this.”
“No, they were very happy for you and complimentary. Rhett said, ‘Even Hess can find a wife.’”
“Mom, that’s not a compliment.”
“Sure it is.”
“It’s not, but whatever.”
“If you brought Camila over for steaks, she could meet your brothers and sister.”
“Bart, stop with the steaks!”
“I was just saying?—”
“Okay!” I interrupt. “I have to get some work done, so I’m going to hang up now.”
“Hess?” my mom says quickly.
“Yeah?”
“Remember, never go to bed angry. Settle disagreements before they fester.”
And there it is: today’s not-so-subtle marital advice.
“Okay, Mom. I’ll remember.”
I hang up, feeling like I just went five rounds with George Foreman. That’s how exhausting my well-meaning parents can be, but I love them.
Camila
Nothing is more awkward than wrestling with a zipper, arm bent behind me at a ridiculous angle. The dress is perfect for court—if I can actually get into it. I twist, tug, grunt, but the zipper catches halfway up, refusing to budge.
“Come on,” I mutter under my breath, jumping in place like that’s going to help. Halfway through my bunny hop, I trip on my shoe and fall into the dresser, banging it against the wall.
“You okay in there?” Hess’s voice easily comes through my cracked-open door.
“Yep,” I lie, standing back up.
The door creaks anyway. He steps inside hesitantly, leaning against the frame. His eyes flick once to the half-zipped dress then back to my face.
