I adjust my position so I can look in his eyes. “Only after my mom told you.”
“Camila, you’re terrible at hiding your attraction for me.”
“And you think you’re so much better at hiding your attraction for me?”
“Nah.” His lips curl into a small smile before pressing his mouth over mine. “I never even bothered trying to hide it.”
That’s one of the things I like about Hess, one of the ways he makes me feel safe. He never plays any games with my heart. What you see is what you get, and I love that about him.
Hess
Sittingon the couch across from Abby feels stranger than I expected.
Camila is next to me, close enough that I could reach over, lace my fingers through hers, or rest my hand on her thigh like I do at home without even thinking. But here, at court-ordered marriage counseling, it feels like there are rules. Protocol.
My hand twitches on my knee, nervous energy buzzing through me.
Abby studies us with narrowed eyes, pen poised above her notepad. “Something’s different about the two of you. Things seem like they’ve shifted.”
She said that to us once before, but that’s because we were fighting. This time, things feel different because we’re not touching when we’ve been all over each other at home the last few weeks.
“Shifted?” Camila tilts her head, cautious, like she’s not sure what to give away.
I figure it’s pointless to play dumb. Last time I was here, I confided in Abby that I wanted to date my wife.
“We’ve…” I scratch the back of my neck. “We’ve kind of moved into a boyfriend-girlfriend place. Dating, I guess.” I glance sideways at Camila, unsure if she’ll flinch at the label. But she doesn’t correct me.
Abby smiles softly, like she expected as much. “That’s good to hear. You both seem happy.” She nods at our stiff bodies. “You can touch if you want.”
Soft laughter puffs over my lips as I awkwardly shift closer so I can drape my arm around Camila’s shoulder.
I think we’re all good and fine until Abby’s expression sobers, her tone taking on that careful, counselor weight. “I want to caution you both, though. The way your marriage began isn’t typical. It comes with a set of complications that most couples don’t face. And while happiness is important, so is being intentional. Don’t get swept up in the moment or the circumstances. Make sure you’re having the difficult conversations about your future, about what you want, about where this is really going.”
I nod, but my chest tightens. Difficult conversations. Future. What we want.
Those are the types of words that will send my wife running.
I know exactly what I want.
I want Camila.
Not just for now, not just until this business arrangement runs its course.
Forever.
I want mornings with her hair spilling across my pillow. I want the sound of her laugh in every room I walk into. I want little kids who look like her running around the house.
All of it.
But I’m scared shethinksshe doesn’t want the same things. Not because she doesn’t care about me. She’s falling. I know she is. I can feel it in the way she looks at me, kisses me. But Camila doesn’t trust love. She doesn’t trust marriage. She’s so used to guarding herself that I’m scared when she realizes how real this is, she’ll bolt.
She’ll run…not because she doesn’t love me…but because she does.
I force myself to nod again, outwardly calm. “We’ll have those conversations.” My voice sounds steady, even though I’m dying inside.
Month Five
Camila
