Keira took that in. ‘Kindness can make you brave?’
‘Essentially.’
Keira sat with that for a moment, drinking her coffee. Kindness. She hadn’t seen a ton of it in her life. When she was growing up, it was in short supply, like everything else. It wasn’t a place like they showed on TV sometimes, filled with abuse. It was just that the people who worked there had limits. The home was only really meant to be a stop-gap until you found someone that could give you concentrated parenting. But Keira never made the grade in that department. So she had to fight dozens of other kids for everything… including kindness.
So maybe she wasn’t brave. Keira could accept that. She didn’t need to be. Nothing in her life asked for bravery. Certainly not her love life. That side of her life only asked for bravado. Keira had plenty of that.
Speaking of which, she should probably hit the apps soon. Only, she didn’t have the taste for it just now. Not since the hospital a few weeks ago.
Alanna had noticed and asked occasionally. Keira always said she was feeling too tired for it. She wondered how long she could make that last. Eventually, she was either gonna have to throw her hat back into the ring or find a convincing way to fake it. But that was sort of crazy, wasn’t it? Having to pretend to have casual sex to put up a front for the woman she’d brought in to make having casual sex easier? What the hell kind of system was that?
Keira hoped that the easiest thing would happen, and she was just going to wake up one day and find herself over her feelings for Alanna and ready to let her freak flag fly. That would be the best thing. It wasn’t impossible. Keira had googled it.
There was an abrupt and aggressive knock at the door. Keira and Alanna both jumped in their seats.
‘Jesus, did you murder somebody?’ Keira asked Alanna. ‘Because that’s a copper’s knock.’
‘Maybe it’s the Porsche owner?’ Alanna cried.
Keira gave her a look. ‘It’s not the Porsche owner, you plum.’ She got up and answered the door. ‘Good god, it’s worse!’ she cried.
‘That’s a lovely way to answer a door,’ Mrs Lennox said with a cat’s arse pout.
‘Mum?’ Alanna said, joining Keira at the door.
‘Alanna, thank god, can we have a word in private?’ Mrs Lennox asked her daughter.
Keira took the hint. ‘Lemme grab my laptop, and I’m out of here.’
‘Thanks, Keira,’ Alanna said as Keira made a swift exit with her laptop. She went down to the parking garage and sat working in her car. She was getting used to sitting there these days. It was beginning to feel comforting hiding there.
After a while, Keira decided to risk going back up. She opened the door tentatively. Mrs Lennox was gone. Alanna was sitting on the couch, giving the window a thousand-yard stare.
‘Everything OK?’ Keira asked.
Alanna looked over at her. ‘Umm… I have a favour to ask.’
‘Go ahead.’
‘Hang on, let me rephrase that. I have the world to ask of you, and you’re not gonna like it.’
Keira raised an eyebrow. ‘What?’
Alanna took a deep breath. ‘My mum needs to stay with us.’
Twenty-Three
‘Well, what’s up?’ Alanna asked her mother. She hadn’t seen her since the anniversary party. No communication whatsoever. It had been very restful. But now her mother was in her space with a face like thunder. All peace had run away screaming, along with Keira.
Her mother walked into the flat without being invited and sat down on the couch. She frowned and pulled out Alanna’s book from under her bum. She looked at the title with a light sneer and said, in a quietly demanding tone, ‘Do you have a spare room?’
Fear shot through Alanna’s heart. ‘Why?’
‘Because I have to move out for a bit. Ed is… we’re just taking some space.’
‘He kicked you out?’
‘It was mutual.’
