Half an hour later she clambered up the steep steps onto the train. She glanced over her shoulder, as if Nils would instinctively know that she was leaving now. Holding her children by the hand, she left the village just as she had arrived. Her heart, which had been empty and damaged, was now whole again—though battered and bruised.
41
Nora took a few rapid steps, caught the ball, and raced across the pitch. She raised her stick and hit the ball hard. Straight into the goal. Her sixth today. She raised her arms above her head and cheered.
The opposing team, which included Bea and Maryam, swore loudly, while the girls on Nora’s team celebrated with her. Tess patted her on the shoulder. They took a break, and Nora took several gulps from her bottle of water.
This was fantastic—a whole hour when she hadn’t thought about Henrik and the press launch. But as soon as she stopped playing, her mind went straight back there. She sighed in frustration.
“Have you seen this?” One of the younger girls held up her phone.
Nora looked at the screen.
It was the web page of one of the tabloids.Hasse Eklund Accuses Son of Fraud.
And then a subheading:Henrik Eklund: I Did It Because I Cared.
Bea peered over Nora’s shoulder. “What is it?”
She started to read.
“It’s about Henrik. Apparently he ...” She paused, cleared her throat. “He stole money from Eklunds to save my business.” She sank down on the nearest bench.
“What? Did you know about this?”
Nora shook her head. “He says he did it because he believed in the patisserie and wanted to support someone who was working hard, someone he believed in.”
“And isn’t that the person you want Henrik to be? The person you claim he isn’t?” Bea put down her water bottle and gave Nora a challenging look. Nora had filled Bea in on what had happened, expecting sympathy from her friend. However, Bea had reacted coldly, said that Henrik had no control over how the show was edited and that what had happened at the launch said nothing about his character or his values. Nora had countered that it was his show, it didn’t exist without him, so he had plenty of control over how things played out.
Bea took the phone from Nora and read the article for herself. “But this is exactly what I mean. You say he’s not genuine, but if he risked everything—his position in the family firm, even his own liberty—in order to save your business, then he must have faith in you. In what’s real.”
“Oh my God, don’t exaggerate! He wouldn’t go to jail for this, surely? Plus he saved his own show too.”
“You never know. This kind of financial crime can lead to a severe sentence. I think this definitely shows who he is. He believes in your business and in you, otherwise he would never have done this.” Bea sighed. “Why are you being so hard on him? I can tell you want to blame him for everything. I know how easy it is for you to walk away and give him up—just because you’re afraid of what the two of you have.”
“Thanks, you said all that yesterday.” Nora took another gulp of her water, stood up, and got ready to play again.
“But you always get it wrong. You’re always desperate to find a reason to break off a relationship. You’re scared to commit to someone you really care about.”
Nora didn’t say anything.
“I’ve known you for many years, and I know how you work.”
“It’s so much easier when I only have myself to think about,” Nora conceded eventually. “Otherwise it’s so painful.” The events at the press launch had given her a clear way out; all she had to do was forget about Henrik.
Bea looked at her. She seemed to understand exactly what was going on, better than Nora herself did. “I get it,” Bea said. “But why worry so much? Trust him, and try to be happy with what you have.Ifit doesn’t work out—which won’t happen—and you don’t get to grow old together and live happily ever after, then at least you’ll have had enough happiness to balance out all the sad stuff. I’ve never heard of anyone on their deathbed wishing they’d loved a little less.”
Nora smiled at her friend and shook her head. Sometimes Bea really was brilliant.
42
1945
When Nils opened the door, ready to set off for the bakery, he saw a small bundle outside. Something wrapped in a white kitchen towel with a red border, which he recognized from Tuula’s place. He immediately knew what it was. He untied the string, hoping he was wrong, praying to a higher power—if it existed—that he was wrong.
But there it was, a jar and a note, a recipe with a few lines on the back in neat handwriting.
The words pierced his heart. He went back inside. Stood there for a few seconds before he pulled himself together and put down the jar. He had to get to the train station. If she was going somewhere, then that’s where she’d be.
