“It’s better than this feeling. Why bother me if you’re going to leave every time reality sets in?”
“I should have walked away the day I saw you staring at that painting like you saw more. I should have left you alone.”
“You should have left me alone because I wear gray and you wear blue,” I sneered. My anger turned into an ugly thing, vicious, the deluge of emotions and thoughts I had been running from breaking through my walls.
Hal fisted his hands at his sides, his posture rigid, and I knew I had crossed a line. “Yeah, you wear gray,” he seethed. “It doesn’t make you above me. It makes you a mindless vessel, one they use to achieve their whims. That’s what your gray clothes get you. Do you think that Nora, Collin, or Phillip will ever accept you as anything other than a Defect? It’s all an act and you just waltzed right into it, claiming he’s different even as he uses you.”
I felt like I had been doused in cold water. “I didn’t tell you everyone’s names.”
He rolled up his left sleeve. On the inside of his wrist was a long, jagged scar. “I told you I was deemed Elite; they killed my parents and sent me to the Academy. I’m the same age as your dear Mate, his twin, and your brother. They were thick as thieves, swallowing every lie they were fed. Looking down on everyone else. Even after what they did to Nora”—my brows pulled in; what had they done to Nora?—“Collin stayed committed. The moment I left the Academy, I cut out that fucking chip. Most people die when doing it, but I lived. Faked my death and disappeared. I wore color and I gave it up!”
I know how to be invisible.
“You can cut them out?” I asked as too many questions ran through me. I felt blindsided, my heart beating too fast. “Who are you, really?”
“I’m whoever I choose to be.”
My pulse roared in my ears. “Hal, are you—”
Footsteps sounded in the hall, and Hal moved quickly, sprinting behind the open door. I thought I might be sick as a man dressed in dark gray entered the room, holding a black velvet box.
“Ms. Emeline,” he said, and I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “Mr. Collin wanted this delivered personally to you. If I could scan your wrist.” The man produced a small silver scanner. I thrust my arm out, willing it not to tremble, and he passed me the box. “Good day, Ms. Emeline.”
I blew out a deep breath as the man exited the room. The box thudded on my desk as I reached for the doorframe, peering out to find a long empty hallway. I rubbed my hand into my chest, massaging my racing heart.
I knew one thing: If Hal was the Reaper, then the greatest danger to him was myself—the Mate of an Illum.
I turned to find Hal opening the velvet box. The insides sparkled in the light of the hologram.
“I’m going to go,” Hal muttered, pushing past me to the door.
“Fine, go,” I spat. “Everyone does, especially Elite.”
“I am not like them,” Hal growled, whirling toward me.
“Doing what you want, leaving when you want, giving half-truths, making me feel inadequate,” I stormed, my chest aching as I did—begging me to stop. I didn’t, because this was for the best and too many things were crammed away in the depths of my soul that were eating me alive. “Tell me, Hal, exactly howyou’redifferent?”
“Moonlight—”
“Don’t. I’ve only known you a week anyway. Might as well say goodbye now.”
“Whether I do it now or in three moons, you were always going to be a goodbye,” Hal promised.
My eyes burned, but I didn’t let the tears fall, clenching my fists so hard my nails broke the surface. “You’re right. I’m a vessel, and that’s all I’ll be.”
Hal stared at me, opening his mouth as if to say something, but a second later he closed it before turning and walking out. I gripped the door I never bothered to close, slamming it shut.
I threw myself into my chair. I was fine, I wasfine. I chanted it over and over again until I leashed the mess that dwelled inside, shoving it all down until the buzzing from the lights overhead filled the room once again. My only consistent companion.
My chest felt empty. I had been no better than the Elite, throwing his status at him. Disgust twisted viciously as I looked at the open black velvet box. Inside was the grandest jewelry I had ever seen—an exquisite necklace that boasted large oval bloodred rubies surrounded by smaller round diamonds running its entire length, as well as a matching pair of diamond-encircled ruby earrings. The finery was grotesque in its beauty. Inside was a note.
For tonight, something I hope you enjoy. —Collin
I snapped the lid closed, staring at the box unseeing as I waited for the ding to signal the end of my shift. Lost in self-hatred. For the ugly words. For not chasing Hal down. But mostly for being in this situation in the first place. I knew how to be alone. It was easier than this. In a week I had let my soul tether to others. Relying on them, wanting them, caring for them. It was a bad choice, one that put not only myself but others in danger. I needed to cut the tethers. With Hal, it seemed I had succeeded. It was safer for him to stay away from me.
The golden glow of my wrist was the one tether I couldn’t sever.
I ran my finger down the inside of my wrist where Hal’s scar had been. How had I missed it when he had sat exposed in nothing but his boxers? But he had been wearing the technology-scrambling cuff—why had he needed it if he didn’t have a MIND? The question I never asked hung heavy all around me. The question I would not dare voice.
