Lo went to the door. “It’s okay. You have a lot going on now. It’s not like before.”
I slipped off my bed. “It’s not like that. I just lost track of things.”
“A Mate will do that,” Lo responded, opening the door. “I’ll see you on the ride after our shifts tomorrow. Meet in the atrium? I still want to hear all about the tea and that thing.” She pointed to my open wardrobe, where the white gown hung next to the golden one—beautiful tokens from the clouds.
“I’ll tell you everything tomorrow. Good luck at your yearly.”
Lo smiled at me. “I have one more question.”
“What is it?”
“Was it good?” Lo asked. “The kiss?”
“Oh.” I suddenly felt too warm. “Yeah, it was.”
Lo’s grin spread. “Good. See you tomorrow.”
The door clicked closed, and I walked toward the window and stared at the night sky. I had nothing to measure my first kiss by, but ithadbeen good. His lips against mine. The way Collin had sucked in a breath seconds before his fingertips had pressed into my skin, pulling me in closer. I had gone willingly, eagerly. His lips pressing harder into mine. My hand finding his chest, a wild desperate beat akin to my own. The first sign something might dwell beneath his polished exterior. Then he had loosened his hold, pushing me away, ending the kiss.
Had Collin enjoyed it?
The Sphere had been an excited mess. Voices bounced around the space, blending into one another, making their words too muddled to hear.
“Don’t look at them” had been the only words Collin had said to me. He led me to a Pod, seeing me inside in complete silence, features unreadable. Polished once more. As the doors closed, I swore I heard those two words again.
Forgive me.
My door barred shut, locking me in, and the lights turned off, plunging my living quarters into total darkness. Curfew had begun. I shifted my gaze, but the glow of the moon was missing. A new moon. A new Procreation Agreement. New Mates. I lifted my hand to my lips. The golden glow broke through the darkness that surrounded me. A new want.
Forgive me.
Why did he need my forgiveness?
“GOOD MORNING, EMELINE. I AM YOUR PERSONAL HOLOGRAMInstructor.”
I shot out of bed, frantically searching for the source. A female form stood near my bed. A round black orb sat on the counter, projecting the woman into my room.
I had forgotten about the session Collin had mentioned. I massaged my chest, willing my heart to slow. The sky outside was still dark, dawn a ways off. I flipped my Comm Device over, groaning. Four-thirty in the morning. I went to rub the sleep from my eyes but stopped. I didn’t want to jeopardize the lens that felt dry again.
“Please scan your MIND prior to the start of our lesson.”
I made my way to the scanner, shoving my golden wrist under it. A small beep and a minute later, the HI began talking instead of the automated voice I was accustomed to. I attempted to follow the woman’s words while my body urged my brain to function.
“Today is the second day of the tenth lunar cycle. It will be partly cloudy with a high of forty-five degrees. You are currently in a Procreation Agreement with M17292834. You are in the Courting Phase.”
I stumbled to my sink for a glass of water as she continued her report. Our scanner never told us the date or the weather.
“According to your most recent scans, you are on day fourteen of your menstrual cycle.” I spit my water into the sink. “I have adjusted your foods accordingly to provide the best nutrition for your ovulation phase.”
I cringed. I knew being approved for a Procreation Contract meant the end of the supplements that discontinued my cycle. All Defect women’s supplements contained something that stopped our cycles until we were Mated.
“According to your morning scan, your vitamin D levels are low.” I rolled my eyes. So instead of an automated voice, I now had a projected person to illuminate all my inadequacies. I downed my water.
“This is most likely due to lack of sunlight. I have increased your vitamin D dosage.”
That was different. The automated voice never gave reasons. If I needed sunshine, why was I kept underground all day? Wouldn’t that ensure that Defects stayed . . . well, defective?
“Your progesterone levels are also inadequate for procreation. I have adjusted your supplements. Your MIND indicates you got six and a half hours of sleep. However, your heart rate and cortisol levels were elevated upon waking.”
