Hal stared at the wall. “He is clearly affected by you. He might even care. You could use that to your advantage.”
I shook my head. “You’re confused. He only cares that I don’t make him look bad.”
“Perhaps, but the Collin I knew at the Academy was stoic. Unflappable. He failed at nothing. He was never goaded into a fight, into breaking a rule. He didn’t miss a step when they pulled Nora from the Academy. Told everyone it was an honor. He isn’t like that with you.”
“That is one argument,” I countered. Hal was wrong. Collin just couldn’t stand my inability to listen.
“So he’s never been like that with you any other time?” Hal asked, shrugging on his shirt.
Heat rushed through my body at the memory of Collin.
You’re maddening, consuming, unwilling to follow any of their rules. I have a role to play and yet I spend my time thinking about you.
“He’s only like that because I don’t follow the rules. I mess up the role he plays,” I assured Hal. Or was I assuring myself?
“I saw the photo,” Hal said quietly.
Suddenly I was aware of how naked I was—how exposed.
“It was a just kiss for the Press,” I said, attempting to brush off the warmth I felt in my cheeks.
Hal shrugged. “If you want to help, just be his Mate and use his lack of composure to our advantage. Gain his trust.”
It was Violet’s same advice. “What would I do once I had it?”
“He might let slip information on the Illum. Once we know you have his trust, we could feed false information to the Illum,” Hal said. “Just something to think over. How much are you willing to do to help?” His eyes locked with mine. “Who are you willing to hurt?”
I bit my lip as my thoughts picked up speed. What if I didn’t want to hurt anyone? I wanted to help those mothers. I wanted to help the crying offspring. I wanted to help the drugged Minors. Violet and Rose, Gregory and Nora—I wanted them to have a place to belong.
Not everyone in the clouds deserved to be destroyed. It wasn’t that simple.
“Before we started this conversation, I was going to tell you I got you something. Stay here,” Hal told me, a gleam in his eyes.
“Okay.”
Hal smiled at me. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Hal smiling, despite all the darkness that surrounded us. I wished I could capture it. To hold it forever. He darted from the room.
I stretched out but quickly retracted my legs. Soreness shot through me from a choice I had made all on my own, and a grin spread wide on my face. Something they couldn’t take from me, even if I couldn’t stay. I threw the blanket off and shimmied gingerly into my clothes and shoes before heading into their living area.
I glanced around the room, every corner, every surface radiating life. People lived down here. I walked to the dartboard. Tallies sat by every name. Countless games had been played. I sidestepped the mat and its blood and headed to the sofas. They were worn in and ripped, the likes of which would never be found above the surface. Cushions lay permanently sunken from holding the people who dwelled here. Even in the disarray, life shined through.
The table was laden with bottles of something that smelled sour, some almost empty cups of that drink Lo always had. Papers and weapons were sprinkled throughout.
I was surprised they had any weapons left behind after how many Barrett and Bri had strapped to their bodies. A rusty, ancient-looking gun lay on the table. A word caught my attention—a word scribbled on a piece of paper, poking out from beneath the gun.Moonlight.
I smiled to myself, wondering why the nickname was written down here for all of his friends to see. I gently moved the weapon from the paper, pulling it toward me.
It wasn’t just a paper, though.
It was a folder. As I lifted it, several pages fell to the ground.
A ringing began in my ears as I looked at the first paper. My heart hammered harder with each page, and my hands shook.
Pages of thorough information on me, on my job, on my birth family, my defect. Information that had been collected over a period of time, longer than the few weeks I had known Hal. I leafed through page after page. My pulse thundered in my ears, blocking everything out.
Images of me standing, waiting for a Pod.
Images of me walking into the Capitol building.
