“The message from Tabitha was off-putting,” I said. “I enjoy running, and the water is relaxing.”
“Must be. Your oxytocin and dopamine levels were elevated when you returned to your living quarters.” He tilted his head. “Why do you think that is?”
“The water is relaxing,” I repeated dumbly, panic rising to a feverish pitch.
“So you said. Relaxing by Low Town where the cameras are outdated,” Collin mused, his eyes dipping to the glass in my hand.
I willed it to remain steady. “Seems like a poor place for your cameras not to work. I’d have thought the Illum would want to watch the Majors.”
“Tabitha agreed with you when it was brought to the Illum’s attention that my Mate was in an unapproved area.”
There was no hiding my shaking now, and I placed my glass down, lacing my fingers together tightly.
“So instead of leading the retribution I planned, I was sent to fix a flaw you found while simultaneously coming up with a valid reason for why you were there.”
“Sorry to take away your chance to hurt more Majors,” I spat.
Collin rolled his shoulders. “They seemed to manage well enough without me. The Majors were more prepared than the Illum anticipated. Rumor is the Reaper got hurt in the process and bailed.” Collin threw back his entire drink.
The Reaper had gotten hurt. My mind whirled.
“The cameras by Low Town now work, and the Illum have a new spy to give them feedback on Minors.”
I didn’t miss the bitterness in his voice. It left me off-balance. “Who?”
Collin locked eyes with me. “You.”
I shot to my feet, choking on shock. “Excuse me?”
“You went where you shouldn’t have without warning me,” Collin bit out. “It was the best I could come up with for why you were where you weren’t supposed to be.”
“So being your pet wasn’t enough?” I barked, stepping toward him. “Now I have to be your spy?”
“I never called you my pet,” Collin gritted, his eyes flashing. His anger tangled with mine, electrifying the air between us. “It would be so much easier if that’s all you were.”
“What does that even mean?” When he didn’t answer, I snapped. “Fine, don’t tell me. I might as well be yourpet.Mate, pet,what’s the difference?”
“Is that what you want to be to me?” Collin asked, stalking toward me.
“None of this is what I want. I’m a vessel that has to be subservient to you.”
He towered over me, and my pulse grew louder in my ears. “I have never asked you to be subservient, Emeline. It would be nice, however, if you could just try to follow their rules. So I wouldn’t have to worry all the damn time.”
“You act like they’re different things. Their rules make me your property.” My tether on everything I shoved down snapped completely.
I darted from the room into my soon-to-be quarters, slamming the bathroom door behind me.
“Emeline,” Collin called. I snatched my bag off the vanity. “I just meant we could make this pleasant for both of us. This mating doesn’t have to be like this. I understand this isn’t what you want, but could you just stop fighting me and trust me?”
Trust what you see, not what they say.I took a steadying breath. I saw a man who murdered Defects and somehow asked me to forgive and trust him without telling me anything.
I reentered my quarters to find Collin to the right of the bed, his hands fisted at his sides. I took him in, his shirt slightly unbuttoned, exposing the top of his sculpted, tanned chest. The windows behind him, the night sky surrounding him as if it belonged to him. My traitorous heart raced at the sight. He was a vision.
I understood why I had gotten swept away. Collin was everything the Elite held sacred. He truly was beautiful, and if beauty was all that mattered, he would be right. I could envision it. It might even be more than pleasant.
I thrust my hand into my bag, finding the loose supplements. I withdrew a fistful, walking into Collin’s magnetic pull.
Maybe I was digging my own grave, solidifying my demise. Maybe, like all the art they destroyed, I had revealed too much of the things they tried to keep hidden. But I knew one thing: I had felt more alive beneath than I ever had above. Maybe I was okay burying myself alive.
