Chapter Ten
Taylor tried to find the right words. The ones that would get Matt to stop talking and let her have her way with him.
Except the way his bright blue eyes had gone steely gray, she knew there were none that would accomplish that feat. She could strip naked and do a pole dance right here and he’d keep pestering her to talk about herdemons.
It had started to rain and thetap-tap-tapof drops hitting the window echoed loudly in the strained silence between them as she stared Matt down. Why couldn’t he cooperate? When was the last time a man had turned her down when she was trying to jump his bones?
Maybe I’m losing my touch.
Not only did her ego smart, her pulse beat an erratic staccato, fear and loathing cramping her stomach. She chalked it up to the break-in; a home invasion violated a person’s feelings of safety.
Vulnerability. She hated it. Hated feeling violated.
“It’s been another long, shitty day,” she said to Matt. “I want to forget about it for a few minutes, that’s all.”
He leaned on the back of the couch. “It’s more than that and you know it.”
Anger. She needed to hold onto her anger since she couldn’t drown it in scotch or sex. Keep him away from the truth. “You think prying into my mind, trying to force me to confess some deep, dark secret, is going to make me all better?”
“The guy who kidnapped your sister, did he break into your childhood home? Is that why you had the panic attack?”
Two strides. That’s all it took to close the distance between them and slap his face.
The shock of it startled her—she’d never slapped anyone before—and she jerked back. Rubbed her hand. “Oh, God, Matt. I’m so sorry. That was…that was… Oh, hell, I don’t know what that was.”
He didn’t seem shocked at all. Not even vaguely surprised as he rubbed his cheek. “Not the first time I’ve brought out the violent side in someone, sweet cheeks.”
Standing, he grabbed her hand and ran his thumb across her smarting palm. “Look, it’s none of my business, I get that, but I care about you, Taylor. You’re driven, successful, and at the top of your game. But underneath that, you’ve been shoving a lot of pain away and Iknowthat pain. That little panic attack at your place, the alcohol…this need to blot out the past and cases you work on. It’s not healthy. You’re going to explode one of these days or have a nervous breakdown.”
An intervention. Great. Just what she needed. “My reaction at my place was a mild anxiety attack, not a full-blown panic attack. Believe me, I know the difference. I had them until I was 21.”
His face actually showed a modicum of surprise. “So you’ve suffocated your pain enough to function until something like the break-in occurs. What happens when it rears its ugly head during a shootout or hostage situation? You could be endangering your team as well as yourself.”
“We work cold cases, not hostage situations.”
“Stop with the excuses. You’re not immune to life-threatening job circumstances because you do most of your work behind a desk. You’re in the field plenty, interviewing people and digging around, like tonight.”
“I haven’t been undercover in years.”
“Fine.” He threw his hands skyward and started walking away. “You win, Agent Sinclair. Your tough outer shell is in place, because God forbid you allow someone who cares about you to get close enough and discover you’re human.”
…someone who cares about you…
How much did he care?
Anger resurfaced as she watched his back recede. “Hey.” She followed him down the hall to a closet where he grabbed a pillow and blanket. “Just because I don’t want to talk about my missing sister doesn’t mean I’m not human. I do have feelings, you know.”
“Bedroom’s that way.” He pointed offhandedly and started back toward the living room. “I’ll take the couch.”
She trailed behind him, the cramping in her gut intensifying. “Matt—”
“Don’t.” He dumped the pillow and blanket on the couch and pointed a finger at her. “Just don’t. You don’t have the same feelings for me, and you’ve made it clear you only want me around because I have resources for this case. Oh, and sex. I’m a good distraction, right? Worth a couple of solid orgasms, at least. So you don’t have to deal with your emotions. I’ve been there and done that and watched the people I love destroy themselves over it. I know where it leads. I have no interest in going there again.”
The words were like blows. He might as well have struck her like she’d done to him. “That’s what you believe? That I’m using you to solve this case?”
He met her eyes. “Aren’t you?”
Oh, my God!
