Driving back and forth between home and Chicago was wearing on me, but I didn’t have a problem with it for the most part, especially since it was for my baby girl. This morning Aja had some type of fucking recital, so I was on the road at six and I got to the recital just in time to see her perform. She was perfect, the best part of me in this life and probably the next one. I didn’t deserve her, but she was mine, so for the rest of her and my lives I’d make up for what she lost at my hands.
“But Dad, I don’t understand why I can’t go to the arcade with Sabastian. He’s my be?—”
“He ain’t your shit, Aja. Stop playing with me. Go in there and help your auntie with the food and let me talk to your father, ” Kinga answered before I could. His beef with a tween was the funniest shit I had encountered in a while.
I chuckled, eyes finding my baby girl all dressed up in her Sunday best at her auntie’s insistence since she had a recital today. She cut her eyes at her uncle before storming from the patio into the house to do as she was told. For the most part Aja spent two to three nights with me, but the rest here with her uncle and auntie. I loved my daughter, but I knew being withthem gave her stability and a two-parent household. Not only that but I in no way wanted to force the way I lived on her. After everything happened with Ashley, my mind broke. It shattered in a way I didn’t know how to come back from, because the realization that I was living at someone else’s standards instead of my own hit me right after she was no longer here. We lived lavish, big house designer brands and everything, a complicated life I didn’t yearn for. I did it for her though. I did it because I loved her and was willing to do whatever to please her. In the end sacrificing my desires and comfort got me nothing but a superficial marriage and guilt that was sometimes too heavy to bear.
“The fuck you laughing for? I told you I don’t trust that friend shit. It’s bad enough Harlem’s hard headed ass let him come to her birthday party.” Kinga’s voice interrupted my thoughts. His face was all balled up like that was a recent event. The damn birthday party was two months ago and he still hadn’t let that shit go.
“You. You’re going to bust a fucking vessel stressing over a fucking thirteen- or fourteen-year-old’s intentions.”
He shook his head and drank from his beer. “Fuck that.”
I shook my head. “What are you gonna do when the twins grow up?”
“Same thing I've been doing. Stand on business and send a few slugs if anybody gets hard of hearing. I think I’ma get a shotgun and learn that one warning shot bullshit they be saying. ”
I laughed hard as hell because his stupid ass was serious and random. “Man, you need help.”
“You right, I do. But it is what it is.” He was mugged up, shit until Harlem walked out holding his twin. Kysler’s arms were open the moment she saw her father.
“Brooklyn is asleep, so please get the troublemaker so I can finish cooking dinner.”
He laughed and grabbed Kysler. “C’mon, daddy’s baby.”
“And why do you keep giving Aja a hard time? She is only ten. Her mind is not on any of the things you’re obsessing over. Sabastian is just her friend.” Harlem mugged Kinga then me.
When I first came back, it was odd to see my brother in love. I never saw that on Kinga, but Harlem brought out something different in him, making him better every day. Not only that but just her presence and what she brought to his life reminded him of what he had to lose if he played fast and loose out in these streets. For years I tried to get him to understand that, but he never got it, maybe because I wasn’t who was sent to teach him. She was, and she loved him unconditionally in a way that healed that grumpy inner child who didn’t have a mother or father. She loved him through it all, never trying to change him. Shit, she married the crazy ass nigga. Harlem was a godsend though, because not only that but she was a huge part in my daughter’s life. She was that maternal figure Aja needed. That one she could talk to about things I damn sure didn’t need to hear about.
I immediately threw my hands up in surrender. “Nah sis, that wasn’t me. I told him the shit is harmless, but he got beef with the lil boy.”
“You would too if the lil nigga called you Old School while tryna mack in front of you. Neither of y’all were there.”
I laughed and so did Harlem.
“Baby you’ve had beef with this little boy for what? Two years?”
“See, nah. I don’t have beef with him. I got beef with the fact that y’all don’t see the game. Lil nigga is slick.”
I laughed, shaking my head then focusing on my niece. She was the perfect mixture of both her mother and father, but she tended to look like whatever parent she was near at the time.
“I told you, you’re thinking about how you were at that age and putting it on him. He’s a private school tween, how bad could he be?” Harlem asked.
“And y’all are underestimating him.” Kinga’s rebuttal had me laughing even harder.
When I finally made ithome from my brother’s house I was greeted with quiet, well maybe not complete quiet, but enough to have me settling in for just a second before I moved into my closet to change. While doing so I couldn’t help but think about the chocolate beauty from the other night. From the moment I first laid eyes on her in the main dining hall I knew who she was. Even after I met her at the pool party I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. The entire time I had her in my kitchen, I fought the urge to touch or talk to her the way I wanted. I settled for feeding her instead, and soon she got the program, opening those sexy ass lips and accepting what I was giving.
With my phone and keys in my hand, I stalked toward the front of my home, knowing I needed to check on my garden and do some harvesting. I was about to slide my phone into my pocket when I decided two days had been long enough to not have hit her up.
I went through my recent calls and found Jade’s number. Her number had a Chicago area code, so it was easy to spot. I clicked a message to open a thread. Once I had it open, I began to type.
Me:You up for letting me feed you again? This time with an intended date/time and not by chance.
I looked over my corny ass message before shaking my head. Shit already said delivered, so nah I couldn’t unsend it. I ended up saving her number before pressing the side button to sleep the phone.
I slipped my phone into my pocket and moved toward the door. My next day to cook at Adjacent was the day aftertomorrow, so I needed to see what I had, so I could choose what would go on the special menu. The special menu was basically chef’s recommendations aka a meal I cooked and prepared. It was an intentional meal while shit like burgers and chips were just made. I had nothing against the people who ordered them, but in my eyes, you didn’t come into a restaurant and pay to experience the nights Kie and Lois carefully curated to eat a damn burger. It irritated me. Kie was the curator and person in charge of managing the events for Adjacent while Lois was the manager. Lois I had known for fifteen plus years and Kie six. They were married and good friends of mine who handled most of the business, allowing me to be as present or absent as I needed. They were good friends, folks I never had to worry about bullshit with.
I went for the ripe heirloom tomatoes first, knowing a garden salad would probably be on the horizon, but I needed some sort of dressing with a spice and some nuts. I wanted to add texture to what would normally be somewhat flat.
