“I’m not a baby, Dad. I watch TV.”
“Yeah, right. That better be all you watch.” I momentarily mugged the shit out of her while she shrugged her little shoulders. “Just promise me if you feel like you need to talk to someone about your mom, you’ll tell me, your aunt, or your uncle.”
She nodded. “I will.”
“Now, you need to get your butt in the bed because you have school in the morning.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m going to say goodnight to Ms. Jade.”
I nodded and watched her walk away. Two years had passed since everything happened, but looking at my baby made it all feel like yesterday. I didn’t think any of it would ever go away, but I knew I couldn’t live in the past anymore. For as long as I breathed, I’d use everything in me to make up what I took from Aja and my absence afterwards. I put my life on that.
The twins gaveus a run for our money before finally lying down for the night. Then, just as we were about to lay down, my brother called to check in and let us know his junior had indeed made his entrance into the world, raising nothing but hell in doing so. He and I talked for a while longer before ultimately hanging up.
“Do you want more kids at any point?”
“Of course I do, just with the woman I intend to spend the rest of my life with. Not just a couple good years then an unfortunate end.”
“Is that what happened with you and Aja’s mother?”
“Yeah. But after way more soul searching than I ever knew to be possible, I wondered if it was just good to me because I was blinded by my own need to give and be loved. Shit, I questioned if Ashley ever loved me or was it always what I could provide and do for her?”
I felt her looking up at me. “Regardless of where her love came from, you know where yours came from, right? It came from here.” She pointed to my chest. “So, no matter what type of unfortunate ending it was, you know you were genuine from the start. Your love was pure.”
“How do you know that?” I found myself asking.
“Because I’m experiencing you for myself through my own eyes. You’re genuine, and everything you do is rooted, not some façade. And before you ask me how I know that; it’s because people can’t keep up façades. At some point they falter, even if only for a few seconds. Nobody is perfect, so no I’m not naïve enough to think you are, but to me you’re pretty damn close.” Then she yawned and kissed my bare chest.
The feel of her in my arms and what felt like affirmations coming from her lips was how we fell asleep.
The next morning, I was awakened by my daughter knocking at the door, telling me she was late for school. After an executive decision, I decided she would miss today. I let Jade sleep in and went to make breakfast for the twins and Aja. Kinga messaged me, letting me know Harlem’s brother would be picking the twins up to take them to his mother for the weekend. That was cool too, but then I realized these motherfuckers had about five dogs. He assured me that the dog nanny would be here soon.
Aja took the lead in doing that, and in these moments, I saw just how much my child had grown up. Not only that, but she idolized her auntie enough to not only care for her dogs the way she would, but to also show me what and how I was supposed to do things.
Life had a way of showing you just how much time you missed.
“Daddy, what are we doing today?” Aja asked as Jade dressed in the guestroom. She needed to go to her shop and I needed to be at the restaurant. Today was my day to cook. After the last eight hours of my life, I was grateful I had thought ahead days ago, prepping for tonight’s meal.
“Since you missed school, you’re gonna be with me. I’m at the restaurant today.” Her face let me know in the door she wasn’t for that at all, but she had no choice.
“Dad, the restaurant is boring. What is Ms. Jade doing? Can I go with her?” she asked just as Jade entered the kitchen. She was so focused on smoothing her dress that she didn’t realize what she had walked into.
“Good morning, Aja.” She smiled warmly at my child.
“Hi, Ms. Jade. Can I go with you today? I don’t want to go to the restaurant with my daddy. It’s always loud and boring. Pleaseeee!” Aja clasped her hands together in front of her face, begging.
“Yeah. I don’t think I’m gonna be any more fun though. I’m going to the nail salon and then to my shop. I’m sure we can find some fun in that, if it’s okay with your father.” Jade’s eyes found mine before turning to doctor up the coffee I’d made for her.
“Yay! I can get my nails done, right Daddy?”
I nodded. “You’re with me for the next few days anyways. Go get your stuff together and let me talk to Jade for a minute.”
She was out of the kitchen in no time, leaving me to make sure Jade was good with taking her or if she was just saying yes because Aja was in the room and she didn’t want to be mean.
I kissed her shoulder. “Are you sure or…”
“Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t sure, Oden. She’s fine and I have experience with children. I do have three nephews and one on the way. We’ll be fine. We’re only going from here to the nail salon in the mall where my shop is. Maybe some shopping, then to the shop and your condo. An extremely boring day.”
“Nah, not really. But let me know what you want to eat.”
