“I don’t. It’s not like that, it’s just…” Whatever word I had for it struggled to form.
“Sex?” he filled in.
I lifted a shoulder. “Yeah.”
He nodded a few times, pushing his fork through the rice on his plate. “I’m guessing me saying it’s a bad idea won’t change anything?”
“I know why you think that, but I’m telling you, it’s okay. I know what I’m doing. You don’t have to worry about it.”
His eyes flicked to mine, more concern lining them than I’d seen since my grandma had died. It nearly knocked me back. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I won’t,” I assured him, not entirely sure it was true. But if I did get hurt, it would be my own stupid fault, which I refused to let come between Evan and his brother.
“He won’t commit to you,” Evan warned. “I’m not sure he can. To anyone.”
I ignored the clench in my gut at the confirmation of what I’d been telling myself all along. Gabe wasn’t looking for long-term. Evan knew it, and I did too.
“I know,” I said.
He blew out another long sigh. “Just—promise me you’ll end things before you develop feelings?”
I swallowed again, fighting to slow the heartbeat in my throat. “I will.” This one was for sure a lie.
One I planned to keep telling us both.
Chapter Nineteen
Gabe
The young womanat the host stand greeted me with a smile despite my appearance better suiting a workout at the gym than a nice restaurant on Rittenhouse Square.
“We don’t open for another few minutes, but do you have a reservation?” she asked. “I can grab you a water while you wait.”
“I’m actually here to drop off something for Jase,” I said, pulling the ticket envelope from my gym bag. “I think he knows I’m stopping by.”
“I’ll go check.” She set aside the menus she was sorting and headed for the back of the restaurant.
It was a cool space. Lots of colors and plants that reminded me a little of Aubrey’s apartment but with a fancier touch. Crystal chandeliers instead of stained glass lamps, and marble countertops instead of whatever fake stuff Aubrey’s apartment had in the kitchen.
I could see her here, cooking day in and day out. Could see why it would feel like home. Why she’d miss it. I wished I could do more to help her find whatever was missing from her catering setup to make it feel the same, but I didn’t think it came down to any one thing. It seemed more mental to me, like getting psyched out by an opponent in the ring. There was only so much your coach or team could do before it was ultimately up to you to push through whatever barrier was in your way.
Aubrey was the strongest person I knew, boxer or not. She’d find her way through.
“Gabe. Hey, man.” A dark-haired white guy in a chef jacket rounded the bar with the hostess and offered his hand for me to clasp. He pulled me into a loose hug, slapping me once on the back. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”
“Same,” I said, reciprocating the hug. “Wish it could have been sooner. Sorry I couldn’t make it to Thanksgiving.”
He waved the apology away. “I heard you’re opening a boxing gym nearby?”
“That’s the plan. Need to win a few fights first—which, speaking of, here are these.” I handed him the envelope with the last of my tickets. “Thanks for taking these. It really helps me out.”
“Happy to. A friend of mine is big into boxing, and my brother’s a huge sports fan. We’re excited to check it out.”
“You should check out the gym, too, when it’s open. I’ll give you guys a discount as a thanks.”
He clasped my hand again, then pointed at me as he strode for the kitchen. “You hungry? I can make you something quick before the rush starts.”
“I’m good, thanks. But another time, for sure.”
