His face twisted, then he shook his head. “No, Jordin.” His voice was tired. “I don’t want you with me just because you’re mad he left and I’m the only option. I don’t know what to say to you anymore, Jordin.”
Something about the way he said it made my chest ache.
“I don’t know if I evenshouldsay anything at all.”
He hesitated, but then he just… gave up. I saw it happen. His body sagged. He turned and walked away, the weight on his cane making his steps heavier.
I squeezed my eyes shut, the reality of what I’d just done settling deep in my chest.
And I felt like the biggest fucking asshole in the world.
“Fuck.”
Fourty Five-Oak
I wasn’t the type to ask for advice. Not about shit like this.
But here I was, standing on the balcony, phone pressed to my ear, waiting for Valentina to pick up. It was late, but she was one of those people who never really slept.
The phone barely rang twice before she answered. “Oak?” Her voice was alert, but I could tell I’d woken her.
I exhaled, dragging a hand over my face. “Yeah, it’s me.”
She was quiet for a second. “Alright… what’s wrong?”
I hesitated. I didn’t even know where to start. “It’s Jordin,” I said finally.
A pause. Then a knowing hum. “Of course it is.”
I let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah. And I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing anymore.”
“Okay.” She didn’t rush me. Just waited.
I ran a hand through my hair, staring out at the dark skyline, and told her everything, finishing with, “She says she wants me. That she still loves me.” I swallowed hard. “But she wants him too.”
Val sighed. “And?”
I frowned. “And I think she doesn’t really care about me anymore. Not in the way I care about her. She just… feels bad for me.”
That was the part that burned the most. It wasn't just that she wanted Ciarán—that I could’ve wrapped my head around.But now, after everything? It felt like I wasn’t even a choice anymore. Just something she was holding onto out of obligation.
Val was silent for a long moment. “What makes you think that?”
I huffed out a breath. “I don’t know. It’s just… different now. The way she looks at me, the way she talks to me.” I let out a dry laugh. “And I think she only has me here because she thinks I need her.”
Val sighed again, deeper this time. “Oak…”
“Don’t fucking ‘Oak’ me in that tone,” I muttered.
“You don’t see how she is with him. It’s not like how it was with me. She lights up. She laughs different. She looks at him like he hung the stars, and I’m just—” I clenched my jaw, cutting myself off.
“Like you’re just the past.”
I exhaled sharply. “Yeah.”
There was another long pause. “You’re not giving her enough credit.”
I frowned. “The hell does that mean?”
