Impatiently, she pulled me down on top of her, her hands reaching into my pajama pants, gripping me.
She protested when I slipped from her hold, reaching for me. She watched through cloudy eyes as I discarded my pants on the floor.
I grabbed both her hands, pinning them to the bed, and took my place between her spread thighs.
“Tell me what you need, J,” I whispered, my voice low and gravelly. “I want to give you everything. Just tell me.”
“I need you,” she said, her voice breaking. “I need you inside me, Ci.”
I slid into her. I took my time, slow and steady, letting her feel every inch, letting her body adjust to me. Her walls clung to me; she was so tight. Her nails dug into my skin, and she kept resisting like she wasn’t sure if she could take it all. I paused, resting against her.
“Relax, baby,” I whispered, my lips brushing the corner of her mouth, soft and reassuring. “We got all night.”
Her chest rose and fell, her breaths shaky as she nodded. I rolled my hips, trailing kisses until I finally sank all the way inside of her. My weight pressed her into the bed, my chest flush against hers, grounding her. The rain outside was still pounding. Her eyes met mine, and I kissed her again, slow and deep, my lips telling her what words couldn’t.
“You feel like heaven, J. Like you were made for me.”
Her hips started rising to meet mine, her breath catching every time I pushed deeper.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered against my lips, her voice breaking. “Please, don’t stop.”
I didn’t. I couldn’t. Her body opened up for me, her wetness making every stroke smooth. Her thighs shook around me, her back arching off the bed as I found a rhythm, slow but deep, my hips pressing into hers with every push.
Her first release hit her slow; she whined through it. Her body trembled, her nails clawed at me, and her cries pushed me closer to the edge. I kept moving, chasing my own release, losing myself in her.
"You drive me crazy," I admitted, my hands firm on her waist like she might slip away if I loosened my grip. "This body, this mind, this soul… it’s all you, J. You’re everything."
Her hands skimmed over my scalp, pulling me closer. I groaned against her skin, heat rushing through me. "You’re fire," I whispered, my lips moving lower, tasting her like I needed her to survive. "And I’m burning up for you."
My release was creeping up my spine. I moved faster, chasing it. And when it hit, it was like the world split open. My body trembled, my breath caught, and for a moment, I thought I might break apart. I pressed my face into her neck, holding her like she was my only lifeline.
It took a moment to steady myself. I just stared at her, my heart still hammering a rhythm only she could create. "I don’t even know what the hell that was," I muttered into the quiet.
When she didn’t respond, I realized she was asleep. A low laugh escaped me. Here I was, ready to pour my heart out, and she was sleeping.
twenty six-Ciarán
I rolled over in bed, reaching for Jordin, but the sheets were cold. Low music and a faint voice from another room caught my attention. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, threw on a pair of pajama shorts, and headed toward the kitchen.
Jordin stood at the counter, wearing one of my shirts, her hair tousled, her head tilted down as she listened to something on her phone. Her teeth tugged at her bottom lip, and her fingers toyed with the hem of the shirt. She was so lost in the words she didn’t even hear me walk in.
"...Just wanted to say I miss you, J. I’m trying to be better, for you. For us. Please call me back,"the voice said. Oak.
I stopped halfway into the kitchen. She looked up, her eyes widening when she realized I was standing there. Her grip on the phone tightened, like she was bracing herself.
“Ci, I—” she started, her voice rushing out. But I held up a hand, cutting her off.
“Don’t.” My voice was calm. I felt calm. “You don’t have to explain.”
Her brow rose, confusion flashing across her face. “I don’t?”
I closed the space between us. “No,” I said firmly. “I don’t care if he calls. I don’t care that you listened to him. You don’t need my permission, Jordin. As long as I get to have you too—love you too—that’s all I care about.”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t speak, her eyes searching mine for... something. Maybe she expected anger, jealousy, a fight. Instead, all she’d find was the truth. I wasn’t letting her go. Not to him. Not to anyone.
“I’m not asking you to stop loving him,” I said, my voice low but steady. “I’m just asking you not to walk away from this. From me.”
There were parts of me—dark, messy parts—that she didn’t know about, secrets I wasn’t ready to tell. Because of those hidden things, I wasn’t selfish enough to try and make her choose between me and him. I just couldn’t let her go. Not now. Not ever.
