At least for the next month, Simon would be able to see to it that Ray ate properly. It seemed that there was even more good about this whole arrangement than Simon had known.
Very gently, Simon maneuvered Ray to the bed, then laid him down on it. His worry only increased when he realized how close to the edge Ray must have been running himself. Yes, this was jet lag, and jet lag was most definitely no fun, but there was more to it than that. Ray was more effected—Simon was sure of it—because Ray hadn’t been eating.
But Ashley was such a well-adjusted, happy, normal teenager. Bright and beautiful, with her whole life ahead of her. So Ray had been sacrificing a lot, but it had been for a reason. Still, it wasn’t right. Ray needed someone to take care of him.
Just as Simon thought that those remarkable green eyes opened, and Ray gave Simon the most beautifully sweet smile that he had ever seen. He didn’t say anything, not at first, and even though something was clearly going to happen here, Simon didn’t even come close to guessing what it was.
He felt the clutch of fingers at the back of his neck, slipping through his hair. Only then, while Simon was frozen in place at the unexpected touch, did Ray speak, his voice low and slightly hoarse and sleepy.
“Thanks,” he murmured, then pressed his body up toward Simon’s, pulling him down at the same time. Before Simon could fully comprehend what was happening, he was being kissed, sure and sweet and soft, Ray’s lips slightly parted as they brushed against Simon’s own.
There had not been a kiss in his entire life that Simon had wanted more, and the really unfortunate thing is that there hadn’t been one that he had gotten that was less appropriate, either. For just a split second or so, Simon had to admit to himself that he wondered, before he caught himself, what it would be like to push this further. How far would Ray be willing to go? It was a horrible, unworthy thought for him to have, of course, but he did.
But he had to do the right thing. No matter how much his body screamed at him to give up, to give in to the insistent pressure of Ray’s fingers and fall into bed with him, he did know right from wrong, and this would be firmly on the side of wrong.
Still, it had to be said that, for just a second, he did return the pressure of Ray’s lips against his own. He was strong, maybe, but not strong enough to keep himself from doing that. But when Ray started to part those gorgeous lips, when Simon felt the flicker of his questing tongue against his mouth, as though requesting entrance, he knew that he had to say no to that. Everything in him was screaming at him to fall on top of the other man’s slight frame, to kiss him so that he would remember it for the rest of his life, but nothing had changed. It was still wrong.
“Sleep,” he gently said as he reached behind his head and gripped Ray’s fingers, pulling them away from himself and laying that slender, long-fingered hand on Ray’s chest. Ray let out one soft sigh by way of protest, but he was just as tired as Simon had known he was, and within the course of a few seconds, he was fast asleep, breathing evenly, shaggy blond hair spread out over the pillow.
If an angel fell asleep, it would look like Ray. But standing here and watching the other man sleep was almost as creepy and wrong as kissing him had been. Besides, the more he stood here and looked down at Ray, the more he wanted to let himself tumble into bed and see if he couldn’t find a good way to wake the younger man up again.
With a sigh, Simon wrenched himself away and then shot a look at the other bed in the room. He was exhausted himself, but not ready to sleep. He decided he would follow his advice, and he stripped off the remainder of his clothing to head into the bathroom.
The moment he was alone, the hot water all around him and creating a veil of steam, his hand went down to his cock. He had been hard and ready to go, quite honestly, since he’d walked into this very bathroom and had laid eyes on a very naked, very beautiful man. An understandable response, but he hadn’t exactly been able to do much about it then.
Maybe it was also wrong for him to be touching himself thinking about it. What would Ray think if he knew? But he would never, ever know, and Simon was too hard, too enthralled by the feeling of fingers around his thick erection, to care.
So, as the warm water pattered down around him, he let his eyes close and gave in to it. It was so easy to imagine that Ray stood there in front of him, smiling into his eyes as his gorgeous fingers wrapped around Simon’s throbbing dick. He knew first hand now what it was like to kiss him, so he could imagine that, too. Only in his imagination, there was no reason for him not to open his lips to that probing tongue.
From base to tip, he stroked himself, slick with his precome and the warm water, but it was Ray that he was imagining. And then Ray, with a wicked grin, dropped to his knees in front of Simon and engulfed his whole cock in his mouth, and that was where Simon lost it. The orgasm seemed to come from nowhere, rocking through him as his hips thrust forward, his balls emptying so aggressively that he painted his fluids over the wall to be washed away by the rain of water from above.
The force of it left him panting, knees weak, eyes blurred. And that was just what it was like to be with Ray in his mind. How much more intense would it be actually to feel that hand, that mouth? Or, dare he think it, to slip inside that tight, hot body, to feel the clench of Ray’s ass around him?
Even after such an intense release, the very thought of it sent a shiver of lust through him, made his softening cock twitch. It wouldn’t take much to get him going again, even as sensitive as he was, but he needed to sleep.
Anyway, he couldn’t help but feel a mild sort of guilt about the whole thing. He hadn’t initiated the kiss, but he hadn’t stopped it right away, either. And he had deliberately had a sexual fantasy about Ray. None of this was helping his obsession with the younger man, either. He had to stop this before it went any further.
But Ray was the last thing that he was thinking about as he drifted off to sleep, and his dreams were all about him. It was possible that it was too late already. Certainly nothing that had happened that night was going to keep his mind off of Ray. But even if he could keep things from getting further out of hand, that would be good.
Unlikely, perhaps. But he had to try.
Chapter Seven
Ray
There was a great deal of confusion when Ray first opened his eyes. It wasn’t so much the new room as it was the new bed. He had moved a fair bit in his life, but for years, his bed had been the same because he couldn’t afford a new one. But this bed was much softer and more comfortable than his bed had been even when it was new.
As he woke, he remembered more. The air felt different, somehow, smelled different. He opened his eyes and saw that he was in a hotel room. There was another bed, and someone sleeping quietly on it, tangled up in the sheets.
That was when it all came back, and Ray flushed and groaned softly as he fully remembered. His lips tingled, and his breathing sped up, something like panic gripping him as he looked over at the sleeping face of the man in the other bed.
A man that he had thrown himself at. A man he had kissed. Simon had rescued him from the shower, and he’d thanked the poor guy by making a complete idiot of himself. Because that was the most awkward thing that he possibly could have done, so of course he’d done it.
Quietly, Ray sat up in bed, and he was glad to feel his thoughts clear in his head once more. He still had traces of jetlag, and he’d gone to bed so early that he was up before the sun had even risen yet, but he felt better. Hopefully, better enough that he wouldn’t assault the man he owed so much to again. Because he could all-too-clearly remember now how Simon had gently, but firmly, pushed him away.
It was sort of funny. With all the tension between them, Ray had wondered what he would do if Simon made a move on him. He had never considered that he, a straight man, would be the one doing the inappropriate move-making.
But was straight even the right word anymore? Could you count yourself heterosexual if you fantasized sexually and even kissed another man? He shook his head, studying Simon’s sleeping face as though it held the answers that he needed.
