It was supposed to be a joke. Well, a joke with a basis in reality, as many of them were. But it fell flat because it was too true. He did wonder how he was ever going to be able to let this man go, and the moment the words left his mouth, he knew that he shouldn’t have said them. He was going to freak Simon out, and there were still seven days left for them to be together. He shouldn’t be risking that.
“You could learn.” Simon turned to face Ray, and he was, at least, polite enough not to mention Ray’s not-really-a-joke joke. He was classy and polite enough that he ignored it, which was a relief.
“Listen, I speak two languages. English and bad English,” Ray said, keeping his tone light. But more to the point, even if he did learn French, where would he ever use it? Hadn’t he just been thinking that he would never be able to afford a trip like this?
“Hey,” Simon murmured and handed him a brightly-wrapped present. He must have been sneaking it into his coat at the same time as Ray had been sneaking Simon’s present. He handed it over, and Ray took it, fingers trembling with more than the cold. He hadn’t expected this. They hadn’t talked about presents at all.
There was a bench nearby, conveniently under a thick tree that kept it free of snow. Ray settled down on it and patted the seat beside him. When Simon was seated, he handed him his present, grinning wickedly at the look on Simon’s face. Clearly, Ray wasn’t the only one who had been surprised by this whole Christmas present thing.
Together they unwrapped their parcels, and Ray was, at first, confused. And then he started to laugh, raising his gaze to look at Simon, who was grinning right back at him.
“I thought I hadn’t given you the right present,” Simon admitted, laughing. “Like maybe I had somehow taken what I got for you back.”
Because they’d gotten each other the same thing, and Ray even knew exactly when Simon had gotten it because he’d been there. While he’d been buying Simon his present and trying to hide it from him, Simon had been doing the same thing.
Ray looked down again, slipping his fingers over the fine leather cover of the handmade book, stamped with two words, in French, of course.Le Voyage.The voyage, the trip, the journey.
Ray didn’t even have to page through it. He already had when he’d bought it for Simon. But he did anyway, smiling a little bit still, but sadly. It was a travel journal, and while he appreciated the thought, he knew that he wouldn’t ever be using it.
“Thank you,” he said anyway. “It’s beautiful. I’m not sure when I’ll be using it, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
“I hope you will be using it,” Simon said, his smile gentle. “There’s one more thing in the paper.”
Ray tilted his head to the side and poked at the pile of paper he’d torn off of the present. There was something there, another book, and he pulled it free and gave a soft gasp. It was the exact perfect present for him, except that it was all wrong.
“Simon, you should give this to one of your students,” he breathed, tears in his eyes that he flat out refused to let fall. “I would love to be the sort of person who needed a book on how to speak French, but I’m never going to be going on any sort of trip like this again.”
“You never know,” Simon told him gently, reaching out to cup his face, thumb caressing over his cheekbone so sweetly that Ray felt like he might just let those tears fall after all. “Why do you think that you won’t?”
Ray sighed and then forced a smile to his lips. He kept his voice light but wasn’t sure that he kept every trace of bitterness out of his tone.
“I have no money, and I have a kid who needs what I do have,” Ray said, just bluntly putting it all out on the line. It shouldn’t be a surprise to Simon, who knew more about Ray’s financial situation than he usually liked to share.
“Babe, money can be gotten,” Simon said, sending little thrills of pleasure through Ray’s body when he called him that. “And your daughter graduates high school this year. I can promise you she’ll get scholarships to wherever she wants to go to school. Things change. You shouldn’t be so sure that it’s hopeless.”
You shouldn’t be so sure that it’s hopeless.
Simon probably didn’t know it, but Ray saw that as meaning more than Simon likely meant. Their relationship. Was it hopeless? Or was there some chance? Ray hadn’t thought about it, but didn’t the fact that Ashley wouldn’t be Simon’s student very soon change things?
He wasn’t sure if he reached for Simon first, or if Simon reached for him. Maybe they did it at the same time. All Ray knew was that if he didn’t kiss Simon right then and there, he was going to go insane. It was late, and the snow was swirling down thickly enough that no one would see them unless they were very close.
So Ray let it happen. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Simon’s. It was a kiss of thanks, of affection, and something like joy. What better time was there to feel hope again than Christmas?
“Well! Mr. Taylor!”
The voice sounded both scandalized and also somehow completely delighted. Ray raised his head, chilled through to the bone in a way that had nothing to do with the weather. He would know that voice anywhere. He had grown to dislike it strongly, but that was nothing to how he felt now, looking at the scene in front of him.
Nancy Bradford was there, her hand tightly on the shoulder of her daughter, Mandy, who looked completely stricken.
It looked like they were caught, and by probably the worst possible person.
Chapter Eighteen
Simon
It was just that it had been snowing so thickly, Simon had thought that it must be okay. Especially so late at night, what were the chances of anyone still being awake? He had taken the chance, but he had forgotten that if something could go wrong, it probably would. That Murphy guy, whoever he was, might be a pessimist, but he was also often right.
And it wasn’t just any student who had caught them. If that had been the case, there was a chance that it would have been okay. But it was the one person who had had it in for him from the moment he’d conceived of the idea to bring his class to France.
