Even under the warm blankets, though, he was shivering. His slender body had been soaked through, and one of the problems with his body type was that it took him forever to warm up once he was chilled. He was trembling with it, unable to relax, much less sleep, and hoping against hope that Simon wouldn’t notice.
Fat chance. Simon noticed everything. So it wasn’t even really a surprise when Ray heard the other man’s voice.
“You’re freezing. Look, I don’t mean anything by this, okay? I’m not hitting on you. But I think you need my warmth. Is it okay if I touch you?”
There was something so appealing about that, the way he asked for consent. Honestly, if Ray were honest with himself, he found it sexy. But then again, everything about Simon was so damn sexy that he could barely stand it sometimes. This was up a whole new level, though, and Ray bit his lip and looked over his shoulder, meeting Simon’s gaze and then giving him a brief nod. He didn’t trust himself to speak. His voice would crack or something; he was sure of it.
There was movement in the bed behind him as he turned back around, and then he felt the most intensely satisfying thing he had ever felt before. A warm, strong arm wrapped around his waist, and the way that the large hand rested on his stomach seemed to be, but almost certainly wasn’t, highly possessive.
That had to be Ray’s imagination. Right? This was just Simon being a decent person and keeping him warm, that was it. Ray closed his eyes and, completely unbidden, the image of just what Simon could do to him, if he were so inclined, sprang to his mind. The curve of Ray’s ass was right against Simon’s hips, and maybe Ray wasn’t exactly experienced with men but nor was he completely naive. He could figure the basics out.
Two thin layers of cloth were the only things physically stopping it. And that should utterly terrify Ray. He should have tensed right up and been completely and totally out of anything like an erotic mood.
But the exact opposite was happening. The blood was flowing rapidly south, and his dick was plumping up more every second. He bit his lower lip to hold back a groan of need, squishing his eyes closed even tighter as though that would somehow help. A rush of pure, white-hot need slammed into him, and that was how it felt. Like he was being hit with it in a purely physical and deeply visceral way.
He didn’t even mean to shift against Simon. He meant to lie there until he somehow managed to fall asleep, or Simon did. But the fact was, he did move, just a slight shift of his hips back against Simon, and, right there, that was the beginning of the end for him. Because as he moved, he felt something stir and harden against his ass.
It was bad enough to know that he was getting aroused, but now he was also very aware that Simon was, too. His desires were easier to resist, somehow, without knowing that Simon shared them. Because then the real question was, why were they even resisting? If they both wanted it, the reasons, which had seemed so good to Ray even a half an hour ago, no longer meant much of anything. They dwindled to near meaninglessness.
So then the question became, what was Ray going to do about it?
For a moment, he hung suspended between action and inaction, between what his heart told him it wanted and what his brain was saying. In the end, though, there was no contest. When adventure called, Ray always wanted to answer. For almost two decades, he hadn’t been able to do it, because he’d been a father first and foremost. This was maybe his first real chance since he’d been a teenager.
That was really what decided him. He groaned softly and rolled over so that he was face to face with Simon, looking right into his big hazel eyes. He didn’t move quickly. He gave Simon all the time in the world to pull away, but Simon didn’t move so much as an inch. It was just like up in the Eiffel Tower when they had spent endless seconds simply gazing at each other.
Only this time, there was no one else around, no one to stop them, and far fewer clothes in the way. Nothing really to hold him back.
“Ray, I …” Simon started, and that was when Ray made his move. He didn’t want to hear what Simon had to say right now. He didn’t want to hear why this couldn’t happen, the same tired old reasons.
So he did the only logical thing and leaned in, pressing his lips against Simon’s, only this time he was completely, one hundred percent awake. They both were. There would be no excuse for this later, nothing that Ray could point to and say that it wasn’t his fault that he was kissing a man.
But that didn’t matter so much at the moment. Not when Simon gave a soft, clearly surprised little groan and opened his mouth to Ray. Triumphantly, he slid his tongue between those sweet, full lips, tasting what he had never thought he would allow himself to have.
It was even better than he remembered. There was no haze of exhaustion now. In fact, over the last week or so, Ray was feeling better rested and healthier than he ever had before, even though they were trotting all over Paris all the time. So he had the energy to enjoy this, to stroke his tongue over Simon’s and enjoy all the differences between kissing Simon and kissing a woman.
Simon was not passive about kissing, not once he had gotten over his initial surprise. He didn’t just let Ray take the lead. He pushed his tongue just as aggressively into Ray’s mouth as Ray did him. Strong, sure hands swept down over Ray’s back, settling on his ass and pulling Ray on top of Simon, gripping him and holding him so that their erections were pressed close together, hot and slippery.
“I thought you were straight,” Simon murmured, and Ray could do nothing but give a little shrug and a self-deprecating laugh.
“Me, too,” he admitted. “Maybe you’re an exception. I don’t know.”
“We shouldn’t. I could lose my job,” Simon pointed out. Ray looked down at him, frowning. He had never considered that angle before. His issues, he had considered, but not that.
“Well …” he paused, wondering if he should be going down this road. The answer was obvious. No, he absolutely should not be. But he was going to do it anyway because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted another person like he’d wanted Simon. “You can’t get in trouble if no one knows.”
Simon was still clasping Ray’s body, holding his hips flush against Simon’s, and he didn’t say anything, but neither did he let him go. That had to be a good sign, right? He was at least thinking about it, and not dismissing it out of hand.
“You said you didn’t want a relationship,” Ray reminded the other man. “Neither do I. And there’s no one here but me and you. I won’t tell anyone, and you don’t have to tell anyone. We can have this month together, part as friends, and literally no one will ever know.”
It was a good plan. Granted, Ray was hardly a dispassionate observer, but to him, it seemed like there was pretty much no risk, all benefit, for both of them. So he looked hopefully down at Simon, trying to read his expression. Simon was quite the enigma to him a lot of the time, but at least, in this case, Ray was able to tell that Simon did want him. His body had signs that were impossible to miss.
The only thing he didn’t know was if Simon would go for it. He wanted to, no doubt about that, but he had also noted that Simon could get fairly lost in his head, in his thoughts. He often thought about things instead of just doing them. Would that tendency take over now?
Just when Ray was pretty sure that this wasn’t going to happen, Simon let out a long exhale, something between a groan and a sigh.
“Fuck it,” he murmured, then rolled Ray over, pinning him beneath his gorgeous, strong, very masculine body, pushing his legs between Ray’s and kissing him as if his life depended on it.
For a second, there was this sense like Ray had gotten in just a little bit over his head. Like he’d pushed for something that was still so new, was he going to be ready for it? But it felt right, so he surrendered to it, not only allowing himself to be pinned and kissed but gripping Simon to hold him close against himself.
