“Yeah,” Logan replied slowly. “I guess it does.”
While Derrick was still figuring out how to reply to that unexpected capitulation, Logan tilted his head to the side and gave Derrick a charming grin. There weren’t a lot of people in the world, as far as Derrick could tell, who did charming quite as well as Logan did.
“You’re on the dance floor and not dancing,” Logan observed. “You might wanna fix that.”
He offered his hand, and even though the teasing smirk was still on his lips, that didn’t change the fact that he was offering Derrick something that he still wanted. He was deeply ashamed of wanting it, sure, but he did. Part of him had even regretted pushing Logan off of him when they’d been up in the hayloft.
Derrick had been so sure that Logan was just teasing him back then. But as the months had worn on, he had found himself wondering if he even cared. His pride seemed a small price to pay for getting to be with Logan even one more time. But it had been his pride, and nothing more, that had caused him to push the other man away when Logan had kissed him. A fit of frustrated, hopeless anger that Logan could think that he could just play with Derrick.
And he would have thought that that would never be challenged. Yet here he was, looking down at Logan’s hand, watching as his own hand, almost without any permission from him at all, reached out and wrapped his fingers around Logan’s.
Why was he doing this? What sort of masochist was he, that he could willingly let himself be pulled close to the man who had broken his heart? Yet it was as though some sort of intense, hopefully temporary, insanity had taken Derrick over, and when their hands were linked, he didn’t even try to resist as Logan tugged him close.
It was the first time that Logan had touched him like this in public. The first time that they wrapped their arms around each other right out in the open, where anyone could see. It was terribly risky, and at the same time, there wasn’t much which could be safer.
Everyone around them was doing it. Many homemakers were dancing, laughing, with their female best friends. Nor were he and Logan, as well as Craig and Skyler, the only sets of men who were dancing. And the attitude was one of amusement, of good humor.
Of course, this was the wedding of two men, so it made sense that the people who were there would be more open to this sort of thing than most of the people in the state. On the other hand, there were a lot of people here. Derrick’s opinion that Kansas was full of nothing but redneck, intolerant hicks was being severely challenged at the moment.
All that was in a brief flash, because then Logan’s hands were resting on the middle of Derrick’s back, their bodies pressed together against the whole length of them. Derrick struggled to keep his face lighthearted and carefree, like this was just a stupid gag to him, but he was having a hard time not just closing his eyes and burying his face in Logan’s strong shoulder.
Not that the way they were was much better. He was looking into Logan’s handsome face, and it was like he could see everything. The faint hints of lines, the beginning of wrinkles, but the kind that turned up at the corners and spoke of happiness and a good nature. The light in his gorgeous eyes as he looked back at Derrick, shining like he was actually glad to be here holding him.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Derrick said, his lips against Logan’s ear so that it was a private conversation, despite the packed dance floor. His words were probably slightly undermined by how his body settled into a natural, easy rhythm against Logan’s. He could say the words, and he could even know that they were true, but somehow, he couldn’t actually feel them. What was wrong with him? He had more control than this.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Logan murmured in return, his hands warm and broad and somehow radiating safely and contentment right up his spine and through the rest of his nervous system. “We definitely shouldn’t be doing this.” His breath puffed against Derrick’s ear, threatening to send shivers through him, but luckily, the anger helped push some of that away.
“Why?” No one could accuse Derrick of not being contrary. If Logan was saying that they shouldn’t do this, it didn’t matter if Derrick agreed with him, he was going to challenge him on that.
“Because it makes me want to do much more than just dance with you,” Logan murmured, and there was a look in his eyes that made it seem like that wasn’t just flattery. Derrick had to have a stern talk with himself so that he wouldn’t just lunge at Logan, grip his head in his hands, and kiss him senseless.
It was a near thing, but he somehow managed to resist.
“You should watch who you flirt with,” Derrick said, his voice slow and level, though a little bit quieter than he meant it to be. Which, since they were whispering back and forth, having a private conversation right out in public, was saying something. It sort of backfired for Derrick, though, since it meant that Logan leaned in closer to him to hear better.
Being closer to Logan was an impossibly horrible, breathtaking, perfect experience. After so long, why did Derrick like this as much as he did?
“I am watching exactly who I’m flirting with. I know that you don’t have feelings for me, but I …”
It was so stupid for Derrick to hang breathlessly on every word that Logan said. It was even stupider for him to be disappointed when the song that they were dancing to came to an end before he could hear the rest of whatever Logan was trying to say. It had sounded intriguing, to say the very least, but then it was impossible to hear anything else. Everyone was breaking apart, laughing, chattering, and having a great time.
Logan slipped away in the shuffle, and Derrick closed his eyes and took just a second or two to try to pull himself together. He was such an idiot. Hadn’t he told Logan, just a few months ago, that he didn’t want Logan to touch him ever again? Funny how that hadn’t even occurred to him until now when it was too late.
His pride was really taking a beating, and the worst part was, it was so hard to care. When it came to Logan, he was just hopeless. He had to do better. Had to. Logan was playing games with him; he had to be. He knew how much Derrick still wanted him, and he was messing with him. Derrick didn’t know why. He hadn’t thought of Logan as a cruel man.
It was enough to know, though, he supposed. And it was most definitely something that he wasn’t going to want to get involved with, not again.
Quietly, Derrick, all alone and very happy that way, thank you very much, stepped off to the side, away from the dance floor. His whole family and all of the friends that he had in this part of the world were still on the floor. Except for Logan. He didn’t know where Logan was. And good riddance.
“Derrick.”
The voice was familiar, although he hadn’t heard it very much in quite a while. It was Wyatt, the youngest of Derrick’s older brothers. They had gotten along pretty well as children since they were both bookworms as opposed to their far more physically inclined brothers.
Wyatt was a strange one. He had no resemblance to the rest of the family, who were all tall and fairly muscular. Even Derrick, who wasn’t built quite as much like a brick as Craig and Malcolm were, was broader than Wyatt, who was smaller and softer, with a round face. The genetic lottery hadn’t been terribly kind to Wyatt, who was prematurely balding.
“Hey, Wyatt,” Derrick said cautiously. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of Wyatt. The man had been quite the asshole before, no doubt about it, when he’d hired Kyle to try to apply pressure to Malcolm to sell the ranch. Not to mention, he’d had Anna, their former accountant before Skyler had taken over, working for him at the same time.
On the other hand, he had come to Malcolm and Kyle’s wedding, and he didn’t have to do that. Maybe he’d had a change of heart. It wasn’t like it was wrong to want to sell the ranch. Just the lengths that he had gone to had been a bit too much.
