And then there was Ken, who was considerably more reluctant. Some gentle probing got the reason why out of him. He didn’t want to go on tour, because he didn’t want to leave his boyfriend. A new relationship with Justin, their songwriter, a man that Brad had been told in no uncertain terms by Lara that they couldn’t afford to lose.
Ken, too, was willing to sign on, however, even just for another year. So that was something. Brad sent him out, but Ken looked at him expectantly.
“So should I send Aaron in?”
It was a reasonable question, but Brad had hoped that his mind would be a little bit more settled when it came to Aaron. He had hoped that he would be able to face the beautiful young man with nothing but professional interest, but even now, thinking of him gave him little flutters in the pit of his stomach.
He needed more time, so he shook his head. Was it taking the coward’s way out? Maybe, but if so, he was just delaying the inevitable. Just a few more minutes, to sit cradled in the smooth leather of the comfortable office chair, to take deep breaths and to get his mind and body under control.
It was like something alive inside of him, this desire for Aaron. Though Brad had hardly lived as a monk, though he had hardly been chaste, he had never before felt this draw to someone. It was dangerous, and it was something that he needed to stamp out before it cost him his job.
“No,” Brad told Ken, who was waiting for an answer with visibly strained patience. “I have a few things to do. I’ll call Aaron in when I’m ready.”
That clearly surprised Ken, who gave him a look that seemed to Brad to be pretty suspicious, but the young man shrugged and left the room. That was probably not a good thing, Ken wondering what was up. Whatever this thing he felt for Aaron was, he had to get it under control
And he could. So what if he was as attracted to Aaron as he’d ever been to anyone? That wasn’t relevant, and it wasn’t like Aaron was the first person he’d wanted. It was just a matter of intensity, and Brad should be able to use all of the same tricks that he’d developed to keep himself out of trouble.
Five minutes, that was all he needed. Five minutes of weakness, five minutes to pull himself together, to brace himself for the almost physical impact that seeing Aaron seemed to have on him. That wasn’t so much. He could give himself that five minutes and see Aaron with all of the professionalism that he had in him, which he knew was quite a lot.
Five minutes.
Well, maybe ten.
