Once the condom was on, Darien sat on the bed, his back against the headboard. He beckoned, and Noah came to him, his heart hammering so strongly in his chest that he could feel it in the back of his throat.
“Come here,” Darien whispered, and he gripped Noah by the hips and guided him into place. Noah’s knees were on either side of Darien’s hips, straddling him, chest to chest, the tip of Darien’s cock slipping between the cheeks of Noah’s ass to press at the slick, open entrance to his body.
From there, it was easy to know what to do. His body just took over, and he sank down onto that erection, his arms going around Darien’s chest. In this position, he and Darien were eye to eye, and it was so easy to kiss him as he took Darien deep inside of himself.
The first time was supposed to hurt. That was the wisdom that Noah had always heard, at least. But there was no pain or any that there was soon burned out in rising flame of pleasure, of arousal. Of feeling so deeply linked, so connected, to this man, so that nothing else mattered to him in the slightest.
He had the control here, and that was comforting to Noah, too. Maybe Darien had known that it would be. The position was so deeply intimate, and they could rock together slowly, neither of them straining for their release but just building toward it, trusting that it would happen.
Slowly, they moved, Noah pressing down and Darien rocking his hips up. Noah had somehow known that having Darien inside of him would reach places that his fingers couldn’t, and he found that he had been right. Darien opened him up utterly, filling him flawlessly, sweat building on their bodies as they alternated between kissing and gazing deep into each other’s eyes.
Too soon, the pleasure started to become unbearable. Tension coiled inside of him, tighter and tighter, a spring that was going to need to be released soon. Noah whimpered because he didn’t want it to be over just yet. He had never felt like he was a part of something bigger than himself before, and the feeling proved to be intoxicating.
This human connection thing, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.
“I’m sorry,” Darien whispered, his hands tightening on Noah’s ass so that he could feel the sharp little sting of his nails, short as they were, on the sensitive skin where the curve of Noah’s ass met his leg. “I don’t think I can …”
Darien trailed off, and Noah shook his head and gave him a soft smile.
“Me neither. It’s okay.”
It was more than okay. It was a relief to know that he wouldn’t be making an idiot of himself by coming too soon. Their eyes locked, Noah’s body so tight around Darien that it was nearly painful, probably for both of them, but in the most glorious way possible. They rocked together, their bodies seeming to know exactly what to do with each other, with none of the first time awkwardness that Noah would have expected.
All of a sudden, his orgasm took control of his body, snatching him up and flinging him up to breathtaking, dizzying heights. At the same time, he felt Darien twitch inside him, felt it, somehow, in some deep, intimate way, as the other man filled up the condom, and the most wonderful thing about all of this was that Darien was there to catch him when he came down from that release.
“I love you,” Noah’s voice came out as nearly a sob of pleasure, of satiation, that he hadn’t even known was possible. He hated himself for the words as soon as they came out, but they were true. They’d always been true. He just hadn’t intended to say them just yet, or maybe ever.
There was a moment of silence, with Darien still buried inside Noah’s body, and he braced himself for the loss of that connection. Surely, he had ruined everything with those reckless words. Surely, this was all over, and it was all Noah’s fault.
Noah closed his eyes. He simply was not brave enough to watch as the disgust came into Darien’s eyes. Or would pity be worse? Yes, upon reflection, he thought it would be. Much worse.
Instead of whatever he was expecting, Noah felt the soft brush of Darien’s lips against his own, and his eyes opened in surprise as the other man pulled back away from him, smiling.
“I love you, too, Noah,” Darien admitted, and only then did he pull out of Noah, deal with the condom, and then lie back down on the bed, pulling Noah into his warm embrace. Noah tried desperately to make sense of anything, of the mass of swirling, writhing emotions in his head, of the words Darien had just said, of the fact that he found himself so willing to give this a try.
Sex was a powerful thing, it seemed.Thiswas more than sexthough. As he snuggled back into Darien’s arms, he reminded himself of how Darien had bailed him out at the school. How Darien had gotten him a job, though he hadn’t had to do anything like that.
Whatever else, he had to believe that Darien cared for him, maybe even loved him, because why would he do those things otherwise? He held onto that like a talisman, clutching it as though it could ward him against the evils of distrust and fear.
“So are we doing this?” Darien asked, his hands tracing sweet little circles, fingertips whirling over his skin and making Noah arch toward them. “Are we really doing this?”
That was the question, and Noah found himself reaching out, just with his mind, toward Darien,allowing himself to believe, just for this night, maybe, that he could trust this man. That Darien wouldn’t leave him again, and that he could have everything that he’d wanted for nearly two years now.
“I want to do it,” Noah whispered, almost too softly to hear, but Darien did hear. Noah rolled onto his side, and Darien wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a spooning position, hands warm and soft and gentle on Noah’s sensitive skin, flushed with pleasure as it still was.
“I want to do it, too,” Darien admitted, and just like that, it seemed, they were dating. It was terrifying. It was perfect. It was everything that he’d ever dreamed of, everything that he’d ever feared.
What it was, was irresistible. As long as Darien wanted him, how could he possibly resist?
