As he drove, three words came up in his mind, three words that he had never thought of saying to anyone before. Three words that he hadn’t been sure that he would ever say to anyone, at least not romantically speaking, because they seemed like way too big of a deal.
Well, they were too big of a deal. Way, way too big of a deal, in this situation. No matter how true they felt. No matter that Darien couldn’t remember another time that he had even been tempted to say those words, at least to anyone but his parents and that wasn’t the same thing at all.
So Darien did what he always did, what he knew would seem completely normal to Noah. He chattered. He talked about anything and everything that came to mind, books he’d read, news stories, anything that would keep him from saying those words.
When Darien pulled into the underground parking lot nestled snugly under the building where he lived, he turned to look at Noah, and the words died on his tongue completely. It was hard enough to breathe, let alone talk, and he just stared for a moment, getting lost in the twilight blue of Noah’s large, expressive eyes. Even when his face showed nothing, those eyes, they showed everything, if one thought to look.
In those eyes, he saw something, and it was that thing which had his breath freezing in his lungs, had his heart pause, and then give a painful, lurchingthumpin his chest.
Noah was looking at him, and there was a smile in his eyes. Maybe there was even something more. Maybe those three words were in Noah’s eyes, too.
Even if it was just wishful thinking, as it no doubt was, it made him feel funny inside, all tingly and warm, and that was probably a dangerous way to feel. He and Noah were, by no means, on firm ground, and he had to remember that or else risk acting too familiar and pushing him away.
“Okay. Come on. Netflix awaits,” Darien finally managed, when the moment between them, when the connection of their eyes, threatened to become too much. When the heat building between them, he thought, might just scorch his skin, he forced his eyes away.
It could just be him, he reminded himself. Noah might feel none of this. The poor man had been through something today, and Darien didn’t have to know all of the details to know that maybe sex, or intimate connection of any kind, was the absolute last thing on Noah’s mind at the moment.
So he was probably imagining it, he told himself, as he slipped out of the car. He knew very well that he had a strong ability to see positive things in situations which weren’t always the best.
It was usually a good thing, but if it made him freak Noah out, if it made him make the other man run away from him, then it wasn’t worth it. Better to go slow, in this case, and hope against all hope that someday, Noah would see that Darien was worth being with.
Just as friends, of course. It wasn’t like Darien even wanted more than that, and he knew that Noah didn’t, either. Or even if Dariendidwant it, he was hardly going to admit to that. Not before Noah did, anyway.
The moment between himself and this man was stretching on, and every time Darien managed to free himself from that gaze, he found himself looking right back at him, caught by those eyes as if by powerful magnets. Held by the shape of Noah’s lips, curved in a bit of a smile. Noah didn’t just smile for anyone. In fact, Noah rarely smiled for anyone, and yet, he was sitting there, smiling, all for Darien.
It was terrifying. It was wonderful. Darien wanted it to stop, but he also wanted itneverto stop. He wanted to sit here in this car and see if he could tease more than just that half smile out. He wanted to give Noah a reason to smile, to drop his overly serious facade and to be who he really was, under all of the quietness and solemnity.
Instead, Darien wrenched his gaze away one last time, and he opened the door. Looking away from Noah’s big, beautiful dark blue eyes felt like pulling off his own arm, it hurt that much, but he managed to do it, and then step out of the car.
God, he was in so much trouble, wasn’t he? Noah still had him wrapped around his little finger, and Darien wasn’t sure there was anything that could change that.
