Over and over, he pulled that into his mind and held it there, and yet, he was still worried that, when it mattered, he would forget. That he would let himself be swept away in the swift current of the desire, the emotion, that he had for Darien like he’d never had for anyone else.
“I have to go get checked in and everything,” Noah realized, not because he really did but because he had to get out of there before he said or did something stupid, something which he would regret later. He had some getting settled to do, anyway.
A new roommate, maybe? Funny how that thought felt so completely wrong to him. But he supposed it would be inevitable, though there were fewer students taking summer classes and he might be safe until September when the fall classes were in session.
Maybe by then, he’d have convinced Darien to come to school with him. No. Dangerous thought. But maybe Darien would have decided on his own to …
With an almost physical effort, Noah shoved those thoughts away. He got out of bed and started to track down his clothing, which was tangled up on the floor in a heap along with Darien’s. It was a bit of a puzzle to find his own things, but it kept him from looking at Darien, and that was a small mercy.
“When can I see you again?” Darien asked, and his voice was smaller than usual and far less cheerful. He sounded plaintive, not something that Noah was used to from the normally happy, fun man.
“I’ll text you,” Noah said, and he knew that he would. He knew that it would be an effort for him to even keep himself from doing it the moment that he walked out of here. No, Darien wouldn’t have to wait long before hearing from him.
“Okay. I still have to show you around LA,” Darien reminded him, and there was hope back in his voice, and that good cheer that Noah loved so much. It was the sort of voice which made him happy just to hear it, and he smiled a little as he left the room.
It was abrupt, and he knew it, but the other option was to stay there, and that would be a terrible idea. If he did that, he somehow knew that it would become impossible for him ever to leave.
* * *
Cabs, buses, there were no amazing ways to get around the city, as Noah soon found out. The cabs were expensive, the bus routes convoluted enough so as to be almost useless, and always running late on top of everything else.
Or maybe it was just that his mind wasn’t on what he was doing. His whole body was still tingly, and he felt fuzzy and warm inside in a way which had nothing to do with the hot, late spring sun. No, this particular fire had been lit inside of him by Darien, and Noah found himself daydreaming about what it would be like to be friends with him.
Since they’d crossed the line already, surely it wouldn’t be bad if he and Darien kept sleeping together? Or messing around, or whatever it was they were doing? A friends with benefits thing, that was the key, and they had already started down that path. There seemed to be no sense in continuing along it, as long as they both wanted to.
Which led him to think about what other things they might do, things that Noah had, to be honest, fantasized about doing while he’d been unable to sleep in the middle of the night. Things that they could use their hands and mouths and bodies for, things that they might try, they all piled together in his head until his dick was hardening in his jeans and he was grateful for the thick fabric and how it hopefully hid his growing erection.
The smile on his face wasn’t the sort of thing that could be called bright or wide or a grin. It was tiny, but it refused to budge from his lips. Being reunited with Darien had been something that he needed to do, and he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so happy. Even with the caution that he knew he would have to have, it would be worth it because he would be back where he belonged.
“Name?” A bored looking receptionist peered at him through thick plastic glasses—her dyed blond curls piled on top of her head. There were a lot of those dyed blondes around in California, he’d already noticed that, but years of being out in the sun, or in a tanning booth, betrayed her age. She had lines around her mouth and crows feet at the sides of her otherwise immaculately made-up eyes.
Already, Noah had seen so much of that sort of thing in California. He’d always heard it was such a fake, superficial place, and he wasn’t sure he disagreed.
Noah gave his name, and she rifled through papers on her desk. Seriously, papers, in this day and age? Everything must be computerized. Maybe she kept papers around just to rifle through.
His first sign that there was something really wrong, though, was when she frowned, deepening those lines into deep grooves around her lips. She rifled through the stack of papers again and then turned to her computer which looked to be older than Noah was.
“Oh, here you are.” Any relief that Noah felt was short lived as she kept on peering at the screen. “I didn’t find you at first because you’re not supposed to be here until September.”
This whole time, Noah had been nervous, sure that something was going to go wrong. He had assumed that it would be with Darien, but it seemed that he should have been worried about this. Not that he could have done much about it even if he had known.
“Are you sure?” Noah tried to see over her shoulder, but the angle was wrong. “I’m set to start classes on Monday.”
“Yes, I can see that. But there’s no place for you here until September.” She wasn’t without pity as she looked at him, but he could tell by the hardness in her eyes that she wasn’t going to be able to help him, or that she wouldn’t. “You’ll just have to stay somewhere else until September. There’s a board over there where people post ads for roommates being needed. You could try there.”
Noah wanted to cry. He wanted to scream at her that she had to find him a place to live. But maybe there just weren’t any rooms. She didn’t seem to be a completely cruel person. A bit bureaucratic, but she wouldn’t turn him out on the street, he sensed, if she could get around it.
The problem was, he had used all of his very limited savings just getting to California. He had enough money to live on, if he stayed in the dorm, and if he was careful. No extra to stay anywhere else, and one glance at the board that she had directed him to confirmed that.
The rent was all way too much. He didn’t have it, and with his school schedule, there was no way he was going to be able to work to pull it together. So what were his choices? His mind skipped and stuttered over them, and none of them seemed good, even if some were possible.
He could drop out of school for the summer, just for the summer, and get a job. That was probably the best option, though he hated it. That would be a whole semester wasted. Or he could try to work with his schedule. He had no family to contact, and no friends …
And then he had it. An option which wasn’t even close to good, and he had no way of knowing if Darien would even go with it, but he thought it would be better than not going to school, or wearing himself out trying to do too much.
Groaning softly, Noah pulled out his phone and stared at the text message window labeled with Darien’s name for a good full minute, maybe two. He was going to have to ask for a pretty big favor, but there was no one else that he could imagine asking, no one who would have even a chance of being able to help him, or wanting to.
It was for his career, for his future, he told himself. And maybe, just maybe, in a deep, dark place in his heart that he refused to look at too closely, wasn’t it possible that he was glad for the excuse to ask?
Groaning, he typed out a message and hoped against hope that Darien would come through for him this time and that Noah wasn’t putting far too much weight on their reborn relationship, though he knew very well that he was.
I need to ask a favor.
