I creep my eyes open to see him walk around the bedside and go to the bathroom without a word, but I’m too sated to say anything. My muscles feel gloriously warm, and there’s a smile pulling at my lips.
I’ve never let myself go like that. I can imagine Ivy like that. Confident and sexy. Sure of everything she says or every single move she makes. That’s never been me. Perhaps I just needed to find the right partner? My smile widens. It never occurred to me that the partner might be someone like Noah. My heart skips a beat as if punctuating my thoughts, and my eyes drift closed again. More thoughts come, and they wander to the future. A small house on a farm, away from everything.
Before I’m pulled to sleep, the bed dips again. Noah’s warm body fills the space he left, and the urge to snuggle up to him overrides any thoughts that he might not like that. My lax limbs are drawn to him, and to my surprise, his arm lifts to make room for me. I take full advantage, resting my head on his chest as the weight of his arm pulls me in closer to him, and his fingers twirl my hair around softly.
This.
I’ve never had this feeling of contentment. It’s more than the individual feelings that I’ve had for him these last few days. It’s the mix of his protectiveness, his strength, the sexual chemistry.
The glug of liquid being poured and the yeasty smell of beer rouses me enough to watch him drinking a bottle of beer. Maybe I’m delirious because it almost looks like he’s content as well. Lying in bed, drinking a bottle of beer, with me naked and dozing on his chest.
My eyes close, but the smile on my face stays there.
~
The morning sun streams through the window. It doesn’t have the same warmth as if it were the height of summer, but it’s enough to light up the room. I twist over, but I’m greeted with an empty bed. My heart sinks at the sight, confused as to why, considering our ‘arrangement’, Noah wouldn’t still be beside me. Especially after all that’s happened these last couple of days.
I shake my head and get up. After yesterday, I was worried about why he left, but my concerns quietened after what happened between us last night. Still, that sliver of doubt is creeping back in.
As if the hot water can help build my internal strength, I shower first before getting dressed to face the day. He's sitting at his computer station when I finally get downstairs, his eyes fixed on one of the screens.
“Morning,” I mumble, all the confidence I felt last night now nowhere to be found.
“Morning.” At least he’s replied.
“I’ll go and make a tea. Can I get you one?”
“No.” He doesn't even look up from what he’s doing.
“Any movement on the farmhouse?” I ask, trying to break the ice between us.
“I’d have told you if there was.”
“Okay, what’s the problem?” I ask.
“Sorry, were you expecting morning cuddles and breakfast in bed?”
“No, that’s not-”
“You might be used to all that crap, but that’s not me.”
He still hasn't looked at me, and he doesn’t hide the anger in his voice well.
The buzz of my phone interrupts my next sentence. The screen has Landon’s number on it, and seeing those digits dissolves any remnants of the good mood from last night. Guilt winds its way into the pit of my stomach again.
“How does he have this number? It’s a burner phone.” I shake it in Noah’s face.
I silence the phone and march to the kitchen to fill the kettle.
Noah’s phone starts to ring next, and I assume it’s Landon calling for an update. Noah must have told him something if he’s calling my phone. My hand shakes as I pick up one of the mugs from the draining board. Teabag, milk from the fridge … I go through the actions, but all I can feel is a pressure building from Noah in the other room, from the unsaid words between Landon and me.
The phone in my pocket starts up again, the same name on the screen. I slam it down on the kitchen table.
“Aren’t you going to get that?” he asks.
“No. He shouldn’t have that number.” I pin Noah’s gaze, daring him to admit what he did.
“You can’t hide forever, Neve.”
