My eyes widen, anger beginning to rage again. “Fuck you. I am nothing like your brother.” She stares, not giving me one inch of room to get away from those eyes. “I’m risking shit for you and you think having a go at me is the way forward? Stupid fucking move, Neve. Try a little gratitude.”
A full fucking minute goes by before she sneers and lifts her chin away from me. “You’re exactly like him. In fact, you might be worse considering the arrangement we have. Who does that sort of thing, Noah?” She’s up and out of the car before I get a chance to reply, the door slammed in my face. I’m damn close to driving the fuck away considering these hysterics, but I’m too pissed off to stop myself from closing this shit down.
I get out, too, and walk around the car, ready to make my point and leave her here. “You don’t get to judge me on a fucking thing,” I snarl, crowding her. “You’re nothing but a princess who’s got herself wrapped in my world because of your own stupidity, so don’t try lecturing me on-”
“Don’t you think I know that?” she shouts. Her hands go to her chest, eyes filling with angry tears. “I’m asking for help and all you’re doing is making me feel more foolish.” I frown and take a step back. “Yes, you, Noah, you’re making me feel like Landon would, and I don’t need that. Not from you.”
That might check my own temper a bit because that's not what I was trying to do. Not originally, anyway. “Yes, I’m angry, yes, I’m frightened, and yes, I’m a mess, but I’m trying to sort this out, and I can’t do it unless you’re helping me!”
She circles in front of me, sniffing, and yet still riling herself up with more shit she’s trying to say.
“You done with this crap yet?”
“Crap? My life is not crap. And no. Yes ... I don’t know.” Her arms wave around, more frustration on show. “But you can't act like a brute and make me feel like a fool because-” I’ve grabbed her wrist and pinned her to the car before she’s had a chance to get the next word out. Fuck knows why, but my mouth smothers hers in an attempt to stop her, or maybe calm her down. Hysterics won’t get her anywhere with the situation, or me, but damn if she hasn’t just wound me up past usual protocol.
I slow down after a while, letting my body, and hers, relax into each other. It’s kinda nice considering the argument and her temper tantrum, more than nice really. I smile under the thought, hand softly drawing back from her pinned wrist.
She blinks a few times as I pull away, her mouth still parted from the kiss.
“You calmed down now, princess?” Her head nods, fingers going to her lips as if testing that was real. “I don’t think you're a fool. Far from it.” She frowns and watches me, still with those fingers on her lips. Stupid. I shouldn't have kissed her.
I look away, refusing to admit that was nice at all. “Alright then. We’ll go back to the surveillance. It’s better than chasing ghosts.”
She nods again as I walk back around the car and get in. I start the engine and watch as she slides in quietly, still no words to say to me.
I begin the journey, still undecided as to where I’m heading until I come to a junction I know leads me one way or another. I take the right turn, perhaps stupidly, and keep concentrating on what I’m doing rather than think about her anymore. It’s not like I can forget her – she’s right next to me, but at least the thought of times gone by distracts me from complete stupidity regarding any potential feelings I might be thinking about.
The eventual sight of the small winding road leading down to the place doesn’t stop me, nor does her look of surprise as I drive into the vast acreage surrounding Benthill Valley Mental Institution. Criminally insane - that’s the label my brother has strapped on him. Maybe he is. Normal people don’t do what he did. Still don’t like the thought, though. I’d rather have some dignity attached to him, but I guess that’s not going to happen any time soon.
The guards station comes into view, barrier across the road, and I hold up my visitor badge. He waves us through instantly, having checked his system.
“Why are we here?” she asks, looking out the window at the sign.
I drive a bit further, turning left into visitor parking by the surrounding woodland before we reach the main gates. Takes me a few minutes to get a gauge on how I’m feeling about this. We’re not going in. I might have called to tell them I might show, but I'm only really here to look at him as they come out for exercise today. Done it enough times before, back when I was too freaked out by it all to actually go and say hello.
I check my watch, almost pissed that it’s worked around to the correct time of day.
“Noah?”
Getting out without answering her, I walk the fence line and stare up at the place they feed out from at this time of day. No one else is around. Never is. Guess people like to leave their sinners here, forget them and pretend they don’t exist. They do, though. Stefan’s still my brother, regardless of the five women he raped and killed – more probably.
I should think like the courts do, should have been happy for him to go to Wakefield or somewhere and be treated like the menace he is, was. Don’t, though.
Her hand touches my shoulder. “What are we doing?” she whispers.
I sigh. “Just give me five minutes, Neve.”
She sits down next to me as I do and looks towards where a few inmates start filing out onto the huge lawn around the Victorian building. Security comes out with them, all of them laden down with weapons as if they’re prison guards. Suppose they are in some ways. Doesn’t stop me looking at the male nurses in white uniforms walking out with each inmate, though. Wouldn’t take much to break him out of here. I’ve scoped it out enough times, made the right contacts to get him far away if need be, but then what? I can’t control him – never could. Definitely wouldn't be able to after what I did.
And then there he is, still too fucking handsome for words regardless of that screwed up head of his.
“That’s my brother,” I mutter, looking him over.
She peers, holding her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun. “The tall one?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s uncanny. You could be twins. You're shorter, though, I think. Why is he here?”
