For a second, he waits. It feels like an eternity, anticipating what he’ll do. Fear brushes over me at what he might do in this state. I’ve endured a lot at his hands, been the outlet he needs, and I sense this will be similar.
But I’ve come to crave him, crave his contact, because when he takes me, when he gives himself over to the raw passion, I get a part of him that no one else does. And I need that now. I need to be as close as possible, and my fingers itch to travel over his skin as he uses mine.
Before I can walk toward him, he stalks to me, his hands grabbing at the remaining fabric covering my body. I battle against him to reach his own clothes, tearing and frantic to get to his skin. Having permission to do this isn’t something that is freely or often given, but I’ve broken all the rules already.
We battle until I’m naked and Benjamin is shirtless but still has his pants on. He pushes me back, attacking me and wrestling me to the ground. His lips consume me, plundering my mouth as he bites and licks over my lips, chin and neck. Each bite is both pleasure and pain, and only sets the lust burning hotter.
My hands continue to fumble with his belt and zipper, and he finally allows my fingers to win in their quest. He crawls over me, prowls over my body, nudging my legs wide to allow him access.
He captures my hands and plants them over my head, pinning me to the ground. My shoulder screams in protest but I don’t cry. I take everything Benjamin wants to give.
“Do you know how much of me you had, Hope?” he growls as his hard cock nudges at my entrance. Before I answer, he surges forward, entering me on one harsh jerk. My whole body shudders at the intrusion, pain coursing through me. “In my world you were as close as anyone gets.”
Another flex of his hips, spearing me and pinning me under him, holding me prisoner to whatever he wants.
He rears up onto his knees, releasing my hands, and grips my hips to yank me down onto him. The fucking is as forceful as it gets,and all it does is feed my raging blood with a raw pleasure that ignites low in my belly.
“Don’t you fucking dare. You don’t get to come. And keep your hands away,” he hisses at me, dropping my hips as he leans over me again. His hand traces up the edge of my body and rests at the base of my throat. He smiles down at me and his fingers begin to close. Tighter and tighter until my breathing is constricted and my heart hammers in my chest from more than the fucking he’s giving me.
“There’s the fear I want to see.” My arms ache to grab his arm, to scratch at him to release the pressure. But as his hips set a wild pace, my body is overridden with the passion I see in his eyes. The fear morphs into something I can’t describe. His hand squeezes tighter, his fingers digging in further as I fight to allow him unrestricted access to my body.
“Fuck! Fucking hell. . .” He pounds into me, pushing my body against the floor, and my skin cuts and scrapes under his pressure on the remaining debris.
“I’m going to come.” I can’t hear my voice, but it wheezes out of me as a tidal wave of pleasure threatens to wash everything other than Benjamin away.
The slap to my face brings me straight back to his eyes. Dead eyes. “You don’t get to enjoy this. You ruined us. Hear me? I fucking hate you.” He releases his hand and I gasp loudly as I pull air into my lungs.
His hands return to my hips and use me for the leverage he needs. It’s both the most intimate he’s been and the most terrifying. I’ll be bruised tomorrow, both internally as well as the ones visible to his eyes. But I don’t care. I’m alive and will do anything to keep Benjamin in my life.
“Hope!” he roars as he climaxes, sending my body spiraling to oblivion. “Fuck you,” he growls out, gripping me tighter “Fuck you.”
The pain is dull as it pulses through my body.I focus on his eyes, desperate to remember the man I love. If he can’t say what he feels for me with words, I’ll listen to his body, and perhaps hear his heart.
I wake to a room filled with light. My eyes focus and find the clock on the dresser.
Where are we? It’s after one in the afternoon. I must have blacked out. I sure as hell needed the sleep. Flickers of memory flash before me—of the confession, the fight, the sex. I don’t remember making it upstairs. Benjamin ravaging me on the floor is the last thing I recall.
He’s sitting up in bed next to me, lost in thought as he stares out at the ocean. My eyes trace the tattoos on display above the covers, beautiful artwork layering contours and ridges I know so well.
“Hey,” he mutters without turning to me.
“You’re still here?” It’s a dumb question because clearly he is. I'm just shocked. I don't know what I expected. Hell, after last night, nothing was set.
“As are you.”
“Don’t you need to get back?”
“No.”
I bite my lip, holding the question inside before I roll my eyes at myself and let it out. “Do I need to stay here when you leave?” I don’t know how things stand between us now. Last night was…powerful. Needed. But that doesn’t mean that we're suddenly all okay. Not by a long shot. I know him too well to take anything for granted.
“No.”
His monosyllabic answers are starting to frustrate me. They don’t give me nearly enough information.
“Are you going to elaborate on anything?”
“No.”
