The ache intensified. She sat in Chase’s chair and lowered her head to the table. “If you’re real…God, please help me…”
Chapter Ten
Michelle stopped him outside church not long after the service ended. He hesitated at the feel of her hand on his arm, the touch light enough to miss but still managing to rip through him. He’d been short with her yesterday, but the questions she’d asked forced him to make a quick decision. Might have been the wrong one, but he’d stuck by it and ridden off. It prickled through him with the same savage poke he’d experienced countless times working with barbed wire.
Once those barbs hooked, he’d never gotten away without at least a little torn skin.
Looking back at her over his shoulder, the red-rimmed eyes and pale cheeks toppled any chance he had of denying her ever again. “What’s wrong?” The harsh sunshine beating down on them made him squint. He did his best to shift them around so they hit a small pocket of shade from a nearby tree at the end of the church.
“Maybe nothing.” Her hand dropped to her side. She fisted a Kleenex and twisted her torso, so she halfway faced the church behind them. “I think I had another memory last night.”
“You’re not sure?” He needed to get out of this conversation before he made a fool of himself.
Her shoulders hitched on a shallow inhale. “You were in it. A younger version of us both. That’s why I’m not sure if it’s real or if my imagination took all those pictures I saw yesterday and created something fake.” She faced him again, tipping her head back to lock eyes with him. “I just need to ask you if it’s real. I wanted to try and find where it happened, but…”
But she still had no memories of Blue River. How could she find the location of the memory without her memory? Excuses ran rampant through his mind. He discarded each one for what it was, a lie to get him out of spending time with Michelle. If he was willing to be completely honest—and he tried most of the time—he enjoyed spending time with her. It broke his heart a little more each day, but he’d rather be with her than let her struggle alone.
Are you ready to let her go?It was the single most frustrating and frightening question he’d faced since the first time she left him. And it was a problem for another day.
“Why don’t you meet me at the ranch? Sarah can visit with Mom while you and I talk about this memory. I should be able to figure out where it happened.” He almost withheld the next words, but they’d been eating at him since he rode off yesterday. “Sorry about yesterday.”
“I’m over it.” A tiny smile peeked out. “I was mad at first. Couldn’t figure out why you kept things from me. But I get it. If seeing those pictures was enough to throw my mind into creating false memories, there’s no telling what would’ve happened if you’d tried to tell me more.”
He hugged her to his side, being careful not to allow her too close. If he let himself hold her too long, he risked losing his resolve. “It was still an awful thing to do.”
“Stop blaming yourself for everything. You had work to do.” Her arm around his back tightened in a quick squeeze then released. She enjoyed the feeling of his strong back under her arm, then abruptly shoved the emotion away. “I promised not to be in the way.”
“You’re never in the way.” He waved at Mom, signaling he was heading home, and waited for her nod before he guided Michelle across the parking lot toward his truck.
A snicker tossed her head back, exposing the slim line of her throat. “Good to know, because I was hoping we could drive around town while I tell you the memory.”
“Sure.” He held up one finger. “Just let me ask Mom to drive Sarah home. Then we can take my truck. I’ll bring you back here for your car later.”
“Thanks, Chase.” Her eyes glistened for a moment before she shook her head and broke eye contact.
He hitched one side of his mouth in a half-smile. “Not a problem. Be right back.” He flagged Mom down before she cranked the truck, jumped onto the runner, and hung an arm over the top of the rusty roof. “I need a favor.”
“Shoot.”
A short laugh rocked out. “Can you take Sarah to the ranch? Michelle and I have something we need to do.”
“Sure.” The twinkle in her eyes almost irritated him, but she palmed his arm and pushed him off the truck. “You keep trying to push her away, but she’s rooted so deep in that heart of yours.” She stopped abruptly and started the truck. “I won’t tell you to be careful. You’re both old enough to face the past. I’m hoping you do it together. Maybe you’ve been given a second chance.”
“And maybe she takes off again as soon as she remembers.” Fear clawed its way through his bones. He tore it out and gave it a mental stomp. Fear that savage had no place in his life. Godsaid there was no reason to fear. God saw him through every heartbreak in his life. He’d find his way clear of this one too.
“But what if she stays?” He recognized the hope in Mom’s voice. She’d always believed in him and Michelle.
“I thought you didn’t want me to fall for her again?”
“Did I say that?” She tapped her fingers on the wheel. With a shallow shrug, she put the truck in gear. “I was worried about you. But seeing the two of you together, it’s obvious you still have feelings. Pretty sure she does too. It’s never too late, you know.” The truck rolled past him. Mom slung one arm out the window and drove right over to where Sarah stood in the middle of their friends’ group.
The older women watched him, their gazes sharp despite their age.
Turning, he found Michelle leaning against the passenger door of his truck. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “What’s a girl got to do to get a door opened around here?”
Her laughter followed with such amazing strength that he couldn’t even be upset. “Thought you didn’t like all that chivalry stuff.”
A second peal of laughter rolled out. “Only when ice cream is on the line.” She took a step back as he jogged over. “I think it’s sweet, actually.”
