“Where’s Clair?” Sarah rose onto her tiptoes and peered over Herbert’s shoulder. “I’m showing Michelle around in case she needs anything while she’s here.”
Herbert’s bushy white brows cramped together into a line that resembled a fluffy caterpillar. “She’s home with the grands today. Be back tomorrow.”
“Well, I suppose we’ll be on our way.” Sarah brushed her palms together. “Done and dusted on this side of town. How about that ride?”
“Um. Sure.” She familiarized herself with the store’s layout and read the overhead signs designating the food aisles before leaving. “He doesn’t know about my memory loss?” It came out high-pitched at the end, turning it into a question.
Sarah strode ahead, her chin up and gaze set on the road leading out of town. “Figured it wasn’t my place to blabber about your amnesia. Yvonne knows, but she’ll keep it close. A couple others too. I told Maude, my best friend.”
“Maude?” The name rolled around in her head with the force of a pinball in a machine. It clattered and clanged, and another snatch of memory tried to shake loose. She mentally lunged for it, only for the snippet to dart away and hide in the dark.
Sarah watched her with keen interest, and Michelle realized she’d stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and stood there with her mouth twisted into a frown that caused her whole face to ache. “I thought we’d drive over and see her. You used to call her Ma Nelson because you couldn’t say Maude. She lives on Blue Diamond Ranch with her son.” She stopped and rolled her lips together.
The rapid-fire stream of information pounded and attempted to settle. Ma Nelson. It had that same softness to it, a warming sensation that spread through her with no hint of why.
“What’s her son’s name?” Her heart gave an unsteady lurch. She knew these people. The way her body reacted told her as much, even if her poor brain withheld the information.
“Chase.”
She’d heard that name already today. Was it the same person? “Do you think seeing them will bring my memory back?”
“Can’t say for sure. And I’m not going to give you false hope. You came here to rest and heal. I’m hoping a little time with the people you used to know will spark something.” Her aunt did that flat-mouthed expression again, which Michelle was beginning to believe meant she knew more but kept from saying it. When she spoke again, her voice had taken on a softer tone. “I’m not trying to force you to remember. Maude helped me do a little research on amnesia once I knew you were coming. Everything we read says you can’t force memories to return. The harder you try, the longer it might take.”
“I’m not sure I know how to stop.” It was the most honest thing that came to mind. “I hate not knowing who I am. Sixmonths of memories are not enough. It’s like living a stranger’s life. Every second of every day is a nerve-wracking experience.”
“I want to tell you to be strong and have faith.” Sarah reached out and grasped Michelle’s elbows. “I want to tell you it’ll all be okay, and that God has everything under control. Those are the things that always help me, but I’ve never been where you are. I don’t know what to say or do to help, and I don’t want to make you feel like I’m trivializing what you’ve been through.”
Hot tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “What if I never get my memory back?”
Lips parted but no words filled the chasm of silence her question threw between them. Sarah ran her palms up and down the backs of Michelle’s arms.
They stood that way long enough for her to regain control of her emotions and pull her keys from her pocket. “Let’s take that drive.” She’d given in to the fear and panic, and now it was time to get back to the purpose for her visit. “Exploring and meeting people I used to know might shake something loose. Might as well give it a try.”
“Atta girl.” Sarah’s cheerfulness brightened the melancholy.
Michelle almost asked but kept silent in the end. They made their way along the sidewalk to where she’d parked her car. She slipped behind the wheel and waited for Sarah to join her. Seatbelts clicked, the nearly silent hum of the engine disappearing when Sarah turned on the radio and flipped through the stations. She stopped on one where a quiet man rattled off the latest Nebraska news. “That’s Dan, our newsman. You want to know anything about Blue River, you check in on his station a couple times a day. He has the tea, as the youngsters are saying nowadays.” Her eyes twinkled when she laughed. “Head that way.” She pointed north, and Michelle backed into the road and guided them toward a place she hoped held the key to her memory.
Chapter Two
Chase pulled hay from his shirt and tossed it into the wheelbarrow. “How do I always end up with hay in my shirt?” His sigh caused the gelding in the stall he’d been mucking out to bob his head and flap his lip with a clapping sound. “I guess that’s as good an answer as anything.”
He rolled the wheelbarrow out into the aisle and closed the stall door behind him.
The horse on his left stretched out its neck and nosed his ribs.
“It’s not feeding time yet, Birdy. Get back in there before Samson decides you’re in his space.” Samson, the gelding whose stall he’d left, inched his head out over the half door and pinned his ears back at his neighbor. “See.”
Birdy kicked her stall door and jerked her head into her stall with a pretend squeal of anger.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re a big meanie and Samson better watch out.” He chuckled all the way to the manure pile, dumped the wheelbarrow, and headed back inside.
One more stall and he’d call it a day.
The office door opened, and Mom stepped out. She waved at him with one hand; the quick motions beckoning him forward. “Sarah’s on her way over. She’s bringing Michelle by for a visit.”
The smile that had started to grow fell flat and lifeless into a tense frown. His good mood evaporated quicker than water in the desert. “Is that a good idea?”
“Can’t be a bad one.” Mom gave him a look full of concern. “I thought you were okay with seeing her again.”
