I nodded. “Because before me, he was just so happy and fulfilled, partying with you and hooking up with random girls all the time.”
Axel’s eyes narrowed and he was intimidating, but I wasn’t in the mood to back down. “Before you, the girls he spent time with wouldn’t cost him his teaching license, which, by the way, the state made him jump through a dozen hoops for. On top of the six years of college he’s been through while working to help out around here.”
“What do you want me to do, Axel? Tell him to fuck off for six months and leave me alone until I attend some pointless ceremony and throw a hat in the air? Will you be happier then? Will he?”
He crossed his massive forearms over his chest. “I’ll be honest with you. I’ve never seen him get like this over anyone. He was a hit it and quit it, easy come easy go kind of guy.”
“Lovely. Thanks for catching me up.”
His brow furrowed. “The point is, I love my brother. I want him to be happy, and if you’re what makes him happy, then I won’t stand in the way of that.”
I waited for the catch.
“After you graduate high school,” he finished.
“And until then?”
He hesitated. “If you love him, if you really and truly love him, stay the hell away from him. Transfer of his class, don’t come here, and don’t contact him at all if you can help it.”
I huffed out an annoyed breath. “And what will I tell him? Stay the hell out of my life for six months? Because your brother said so? You think he’ll listen to that?”
He leaned toward me but I didn’t back down. “No, I don’t. But he will do what’s best for you. Tell him you’re scared of getting caught. Tell him you don’t want to be known all over town as the teenage whore who seduced her teacher.”
The next thing I knew, my palm stung as if I’d placed it on a hot stovetop.
Because I’d slapped Axel across the face.
I held my wounded hand to my chest. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I—”
“I might’ve deserved that,” he admitted without flinching. “I’m not so good at speaking delicately.”
We stood there, locked in staring contest, finding ourselves at an impasse.
I don’t want to let him go. I love him and I’m scared of who I’d be without him. He makes me better. Stronger. More alive than I’ve ever felt. But I doubt Axel cares about my feelings.
“I would never do anything to hurt him on purpose.”
He inhaled sharply. “But you are. Every day he’s risking everything for you. My brother is one of the best people I know,” he admitted. “And if you tell him I said that, I’ll deny it. But here’s what else I know.” He paused as if choosing his words carefully this time. “He deserves the things he’s worked for. A career. A life. A relationship that won’t cost him everything he’s worked so hard for and possibly jail time. Don’t you want that for him? A relationship he doesn’t have to sneak around and hide? If what you have is real, a few months apart won’t change anything. What you have will still be there when you graduate high school. Love him enough to wait. For both of your sakes.”
I waited to see if there was more. There wasn’t.
He turned and left me alone with his words. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
I couldn’t take anymore. Couldn’t carry anymore of it on my own.
“Ghost” came on and I felt the lyrics down to my soul.
I ran to my phone and texted Aiden everything, pouring my heart out faster than my fingers could type.
Please call me when you can. I know you have practice and we aren’t on the best terms, but this has been the worst day and I need to talk to you. Jecca fired me from my internship and she called some people at NCAAD and made sure I won’t be able to get a scholarship from there either. My mom and Kat are selling the house and going on some bucket list road trip and my dad wants me to come to home with him and Ethan. He said he’d pay for art school in California.
I’ve just hit send and started typing again. I type,I don’t want to go, but I just talked to Axel and he said leaving you alone is what’s best for you. Tell me he’s wrong.
But before I hit send, his response came through.
I think you should go.
There was more. An explanation of some kind as to why. Something about not wanting to stand in the way of my dreams the way he’d stood in the way of his brother’s.
But I couldn’t read the words through my tears and my red-tinged haze.
I was too busy emptying every paint can I had. Throwing them against the wall until I could no longer stand. The sound was satisfying and the mess was a horrific masterpiece.
Not long ago, we’d made love in here.
Now I’d destroyed it. Like a crime scene that had to be burned to the ground.
