“I’m sorry,” I say as tears pool in my own. I tug him forward gently.
“Well isn’t this a nice welcome home.” His tone is sharp and wounded all at once. I take a few deep breaths. I knew this wouldn’t be easy, but what other option did I have?
Skylar, Corin, Landen’s mom, and the manager of the soccer club he works for all stand to greet us.
“I’m guessing you weren’t expecting us,” Sean McBride says. The Barcelona Club manager is short and stocky but has an air of authority that makes him seem ten feet tall. He also has a Scottish accent that makesussound likeoos.
“No, sir, I wasn’t,” Landen says through gritted teeth.
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Your girl here, she’s worried about ya,” he answers, coming forward to shake Landen’s hand. “Truthfully, we all are.”
I watch Landen’s green eyes darken as they skitter over his mother. But they lighten again as he nods to Skylar. “Skylar, you worried about me?”
Skylar jerks his chin upward. “Yeah, man. Shit keeps me up at night.” He grins as if they share a private joke.
“Well I’m not fucking worried about you. Even if you do look like you were hit by a truck,” Corin chimes in. “I’m worried about my best friend. And if her lip looks like that because of you, you’re going to look a whole lot worse.”
Oh crap. I forgot about that. “Corin—”
“No, she’s right. Call your boys, Ginger. Give them my address. I deserve it.”
Corin glares at him and I step between them. “Stop. Just stop.”
“Landen,” his mother breaks in from beside us. “Baby, I—”
“Don’t you baby me,” he snarls at her. “In fact, don’t even fucking talk to me.”
This is going well.
“Sit down. All of you,” I command. “Now.”
They all do as I say, which nearly shocks me into silence. I spoke with the lady at Axis about how to handle this. Her advice was to stay calm and in control. Not to let anyone’s emotions escalate too high. Obviously she’s never met Landen. She might as well have told me to relocate Mt. Kilimanjaro while I was at it.
I take a deep breath and stand. “I’ve asked each of you here because I don’t know what else to do. You all know that Landen and I keep our personal lives personal, maybe too personal. So personal that when things started to spiral out of control, I felt like I had no one to turn to.”
My mouth turns down and tears threaten but I swallow them back. “I called Corin yesterday before Landen got attacked. After we talked, I decided to call a professional for help. Her name is Megan Sanderson and she’s a doctor at the Axis Center—a place in California that Landen’s coach recommended he visit for help with his anger. As some of you already know, he’s currently on his second suspension for losing his temper.”
I keep my eyes on Landen as I speak. His hands grip his knees, and I want to drop to mine and apologize. Tell everyone to leave and forget it. But I know it’s now or never. Making excuses for him won’t help him. “Dr. Sanderson suggested we each tell him how we feel about him. How his anger affects us and why we would like for him to seek help.” My hands shake as I pull the first picture off the wall. “I’ll go first.”
His expression is pained when I turn back to face him. “Why are you doing this?”
I shake my head and give up on holding back my tears. My vision blurs as I look at him. “Because I love you,” I whisper. “But I can’t love our problems away.”
After I’ve taken all the pictures off the wall, revealed all of the damage he’s done, I walk over to him. “I’m as guilty as you are. I covered it up. Made excuses. Saw what I wanted to see. I’m sorry, Landen.” After pausing to pull in a rattled breath, I continue. “I want you to get help because I want to spend my life with you. I want to raise our child together in a happy home without being afraid that you’ll destroy it.”
His mom reaches over and clasps my hand. My tears fall as I meet her questioning gaze and nod. She didn’t know I was pregnant. The knowledge that Landen hasn’t told his own mother stings, but I try to convince myself that it’s a reflection of their relationship and not ours.
His mom stands and I take her spot on the couch. Regret and longing pour from her words as she speaks. “I want you to get help because I love you. Because you spent your life paying for my choices. Because I wasn’t strong enough to admit the truth. I want you to have the life you deserve because you are a wonderful man that I’m proud to call my son.”
I think she’s talking about his father but I’m not sure. The truth about what? I give Landen a sidelong questioning glance but he just shakes his head. His back is ramrod straight, his shoulders rigid, as if he’s braced for an attack. In a way, I feel like that’s exactly what we’re doing to him.
Mr. McBride clears his throat and locks eyes with Landen. “Son, I think you already know how the club feels. You’re the best striker we’ve had in years. The kind of player that changes the game, reminds me why I love it so much. Be a shame for you to throw away such a bright future over your pride. It’s easy to run from our problems. Takes a man to face them head-on.”
I slip my hand into Landen’s, praying silently that one day he’ll forgive me for this. He gives me a gentle squeeze in return and I tell myself there’s hope.
Skylar is next. Running his hand through his curly hair, he sighs. “Look, I can’t tell you how to live your life. I fuck mine up at least once a day. But I can tell you this: what you and Layla have…it’s not something you find around every corner, you know?”
Glancing over, I see Landen nod at his friend.
