“Like Sanforth.”
“Exactly.” He faced her. “But I think I was wrong. The constant noise of London actuallymasksthe kind of sounds to which I generally react.”
She smiled. “Like this afternoon, when that hammering made you jump, but not react nearly as dramatically as in Cambridge.”
“Today was a different matter entirely. That was all you, dearling. You . . . calmed me somehow.”
“Yes, but I assume your new post means I can’t always be with you,” she said anxiously.
“That’s true. But I am calmer just knowing you are there for me at the end of the day. And I’m hopeful that . . . my reactions will lessen now that I’m to live somewhere, well, for lack of a better word, noisy. All I can do is try.”
“Right.” She gazed down at her hands. “So, um, this post had something to do with why you were hurt tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Then why did you say it involved Lionel?”
“Because it did. It does.” He dragged in a heavy breath. “He’s up to more mischief than anyone realized, though my employer recognized it and sent me . . . after him. But I can’t tell you more than that.”
Lifting her gaze to him, she sighed. “So this post will require a great deal of secrecy, I assume.”
“I’m afraid so. Just know that it allows me to work on behalf of my country. I’ll tell you however much the War Office allows, but I may not always be able to reveal the whole matter. You won’t be able to let anyone know for whom I work. I probably shouldn’t even be tellingyou, but I figure if any woman can hold her own secrets for as many years as you have, you won’t have any trouble keeping mine.”
He sat down next to her on the settee. “The good part of this, however, is that the post will put me back on full pay and enable me—us—to live more comfortably than we might on the Armitage estate.”
She eyed him askance. “I should hope that mydowrywill enable us to live comfortably.” When he narrowed his gaze on her, she added hastily, “Assuming that wedoend up married, which is by no means certain.”
“Right.” But he took heart in the fact that she was talking about it as if it might happen. “Whatever you wish to do with your dowry is fine with me. You can dictate what you want for the settlement. If you’d prefer to keep your money and use it for our children—”
“And if we don’t have children?” she whispered.
“Then you can spend it however you please.”
She nodded, her mind clearly wandering elsewhere. After a moment, she noticed he was watching her closely, and she forced a smile. “So . . . exactly how dangerous will this post be?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure yet.” He took her hand in his. “But I can almost certainly say it was nothing to what I went through on the battlefield.”
“How would I know?” she said.
In that moment, he realized he would never have her in his life if he didn’tlether into his life. He might not be able to tell her about the spying, but there were things she wanted to know that hecouldreveal.
“Youwouldn’tknow. Which is why I’m going to tell you how I was wounded in the marines. And thenshowyou how I was wounded in the marines. If you think you can stomach it.”
She looked startled, then earnest. “I can, I swear.” She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it. “You can trust me.”
When she’d said that earlier, he’d had trouble believing her. But now he stared at her, his heart in his throat. “I know.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Did he truly? Because if he did know, then she had to be equally honest with him. Trusthim. And that frightened the very devil out of her.
He sat down beside her and thrust his bad leg out in front of him. “I was wounded aboard theAmphionduring the Battle of Cape Santa Maria in October 1804.”
She shifted a bit so she could look at his face. “I don’t know that battle.”
“Probably because it wasn’t much of one. Spain hadn’t yet declared war on Great Britain.”
“Oh, wait, Idoremember! That was the battle where three Spanish treasure ships were captured and brought back to England before they could reach France. AndthenSpain declared war on us.”
