“You married a man and had every reason to believe that his wife was dead,” her father insisted. “One man’s jealous, drunken rambling does not change that reality. If His Grace chooses to annul the marriage, you will live with your mother and me as you did before. I am sure that the Duke of Hillsburgh would not be so callous as to tell anyone about your situation with Lord Fatherton before the two of you were wed. Your reputation will be safe, and you will be free to wed again.”
“After some time,” her mother added. “Of course.”
Tabitha sniffed, and her father offered her a handkerchief. She wiped her nose and balled the fabric up in her fist. “But I think I love him,” she said. “I did not realize it until lately, but the thought of losing him is too painful to bear. We were not perfect; we argued often, sometimes fiercely. But we always came to an agreement in the end. He always returned to me, and when he went out and fought with Cassius, I knew it was for Her Grace’s sake. But I so desperately wanted him to be fighting for my honour and me.”
“Oh, Tabby Cat,” her mother murmured.
“I think if it were not for the spectre of Rosemary looming over our marriage, we would have been perfectly suited for one another, but now, we never will be. We never can be. I am so lost and do not know what to do.”
“Perhaps he will not choose Her Grace,” Bridgette suggested. “She has been absent from his life for twelve years. Has she not? Perhaps she is a changed person. For all we know, she has built a new life of her own and no longer wishes to be wed to His Grace.”
“But why would she not still want him?” Tabitha asked. “Clearly, she does. Even if Cassius was not lying about Her Grace having a string of lovers, she returned to Matthew. She desires him.”
“Maybe he will not desire her?” Bridgette asked, her voice so hopeful that Tabitha felt as if her heart might break all over again.
“He has longed for her for over twelve years,” Tabitha said, feeling utterly exhausted. “There is no reason for him to decide that he does not want her now. Indeed, I suspect that this experience will only draw them more tightly together. He has his Duchess of Hillsburgh at last and has no more use for me.”
“We could fight the annulment,” her father said.
Tabitha laughed incredulously. “And for him to remain married to me? How could I do something so dreadful?”
“No, not force him to be married to you,” Lord Mayhew said. “I do not doubt that he would inevitably win in the courts. However, we might be able to slow the annulment. Perhaps we could convince him that he ought to remain married to you. You did say that he was often affectionate towards you.”
Well, affectionate was perhaps not the correct term, but Tabitha had not felt the inclination to reveal to her parents precisely how His Grace so frequently liked to display his fondness for her.
“Maybe he loves you, also,” her father said. “We have no evidence that he does not.”
“He told me to leave,” Tabitha said. “He did not attempt to stop me.”
Lord Mayhew waved a dismissive hand. “The man had just seen his missing wife, whom all the ton thought was dead, return from the grave. Of course, he told you to leave. No man would be thinking coherently under such circumstances. I am certain that his dismissal was only the product of an overly exhausted mind.”
“Yes,” Lady Mayhew said, some of her anger softening. “That is entirely plausible. Maybe we should simply give His Grace some time to think through the situation. At the moment, we have no real proof that he intends to abandon Tabitha for Her Grace. We do not even know the Duchess of Hillsburgh’s motivations. Obviously, she wished to see His Grace, but perhaps it was to bid him a final farewell. Or perhaps she merely wished him to know the truth of her absence.”
“Maybe it is guilt if she left willingly,” Bridgette said.
Lady Mayhew nodded. “That is entirely possible.”
“I am not certain that I can bear the uncertainty of it,” Tabitha said softly.
More than anything else, she wanted Matthew to sweep into the room and announce that he chose her above anyone else. She wanted him to declare his undying love for her and pull her into his arms.
Tabitha knew that her friend and parents were right. It was understandable for any man to feel uncertain when faced with such an unexpected chain of events, but she could not deny the doubt she felt that Matthew would never want her more than he did Her Grace.
“We can seek recompense, at least,” her father insisted.
“No,” Tabitha replied. “I–I think that I ...”
She tried to put her thoughts together. What did she want? If Matthew preferred Her Grace, what did she want from him? What could she bear to ask him? She could not request that he love her or bring herself to try and persuade him that he ought to adore her, not when his true love, his beloved Duchess of Hillsburgh, had finally returned.
“I want him to be happy,” Tabitha said. “More than anything, that is what I want. Even if he cannot find that happiness with me.”
“Tabitha,” her father said. “You do not need to sacrifice your own happiness to tend to his.”
Tabitha choked on a bitter laugh. “Is that not how I know I love him? That I am so willing to place his happiness above my own?”
Lady Mayhew squeezed Tabitha’s shoulder. “My poor daughter,” she said. “That is how you know, but sometimes, it is better to fight for what you love than it is to set it free.”
“I cannot fight for his love,” Tabitha said. “Either he loves me, or he does not. He cannot remain married to two women, and I could not bring myself to vex him when he has waited so long for Her Grace to return to him. I must relinquish him. I must let him love whosoever he desires, even if it hurts.”
